Anonymous
Post 12/11/2018 21:27     Subject: How much to pay old nanny to watch child overnight?
$25/hr until 8pm then flat rate $100 PLUS $25/hr once he wakes up until you arrive. I’m sure you’re not coming to get him st 6am do you need to pay the morning as well.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2018 18:41     Subject: How much to pay old nanny to watch child overnight?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: Is there ever an instance where we can consider that our former nanny is now truly a friend and therefore we wouldn't treat her like an employee anymore? As a comparison, we've had visiting friends come over before and insist that they wanted to watch our son so we could have a few hours outside the house. We made sure there was plenty of food available for them, were gone just long enough to see a movie, and of course were profuse in our thanks, but we didn't pay them. If our former nanny initiates the visit, would that be a similar situation?

And of course I can just ask her, but I also don't want to insult her if this is a ridiculous question.


If she is free to leave then it's a visit. If she isn't, she's working. So if you decide to go to a movie and it's fine if she takes off, then sure, don't pay her. I'm assuming that isn't the case though. If you're going out and she's spending her time with your child, she gets paid. If you decide to stay home and you sit and have coffee with her, then it's a visit. If she comes to your child's birthday party and you don't expect her to watch the kids or clean the kitchen afterward, then it can be a visit.

The last family I worked for didn't seem to understand this. I'm in a competitive grad school program and work full time in my field. I still wanted to see their child, but I absolutely do not have time (or any desire) to work as a nanny again. I would love to come by for an hour and play with their child and chat a little and then be on my way. However, there is no way in hell that I would consider sitting in someone else's house at night to get home in the dark and the cold after working all day. No way would I devote my only work-free day of the week to catering to the whims of a small child. The difference is the ability to come and go on a whim. If your friend dropped in, would you run out the door to go do something else and leave them with your child? Probably not. If you really saw them as a friend and not an employee, you would want to actually talk to them and not expect them to fall back into their old routine but for free. We all love the kids we work with, but taking care of a small child is work, no matter how special their bond was.

Read the post PP.. they went to movie leaving child home with friends. Its fine if you want to spend just an hour socializing with parents and child but just because you don't do something doesn't make it wrong.
To answer, yes depends if you are spending time with your friends and once in a while leave child with them when they insist then its totally fine and you are not expected to pay, same goes for former nanny.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2018 17:16     Subject: How much to pay old nanny to watch child overnight?
Anonymous wrote:How old is your son?


Almost 5.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2018 17:12     Subject: How much to pay old nanny to watch child overnight?
How old is your son?
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2018 17:08     Subject: How much to pay old nanny to watch child overnight?
Anonymous wrote: Is there ever an instance where we can consider that our former nanny is now truly a friend and therefore we wouldn't treat her like an employee anymore? As a comparison, we've had visiting friends come over before and insist that they wanted to watch our son so we could have a few hours outside the house. We made sure there was plenty of food available for them, were gone just long enough to see a movie, and of course were profuse in our thanks, but we didn't pay them. If our former nanny initiates the visit, would that be a similar situation?

And of course I can just ask her, but I also don't want to insult her if this is a ridiculous question.


If she is free to leave then it's a visit. If she isn't, she's working. So if you decide to go to a movie and it's fine if she takes off, then sure, don't pay her. I'm assuming that isn't the case though. If you're going out and she's spending her time with your child, she gets paid. If you decide to stay home and you sit and have coffee with her, then it's a visit. If she comes to your child's birthday party and you don't expect her to watch the kids or clean the kitchen afterward, then it can be a visit.

The last family I worked for didn't seem to understand this. I'm in a competitive grad school program and work full time in my field. I still wanted to see their child, but I absolutely do not have time (or any desire) to work as a nanny again. I would love to come by for an hour and play with their child and chat a little and then be on my way. However, there is no way in hell that I would consider sitting in someone else's house at night to get home in the dark and the cold after working all day. No way would I devote my only work-free day of the week to catering to the whims of a small child. The difference is the ability to come and go on a whim. If your friend dropped in, would you run out the door to go do something else and leave them with your child? Probably not. If you really saw them as a friend and not an employee, you would want to actually talk to them and not expect them to fall back into their old routine but for free. We all love the kids we work with, but taking care of a small child is work, no matter how special their bond was.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2018 15:19     Subject: How much to pay old nanny to watch child overnight?
Anonymous wrote:I read OP’s post to mean that her son could stay “in town”, meaning in their current town with DH’s parents, rather than make the trip to their former city for the wedding. You and DH will have a better time at the wedding if your child isn’t having to adjust to a different sleep situation.


Yes, that's right. Either our son will stay in our house and his grandparents will stay with him or he'll come with us and spend one night at our nanny's. He's great about sleeping other places, so I'm not worried about him sleeping at the nanny's (which, as I mentioned, he's done before), but for sure she will keep him up later than normal and he won't sleep in as much. But that's something I thought would be worth it for our nanny to see him.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2018 14:51     Subject: How much to pay old nanny to watch child overnight?
I read OP’s post to mean that her son could stay “in town”, meaning in their current town with DH’s parents, rather than make the trip to their former city for the wedding. You and DH will have a better time at the wedding if your child isn’t having to adjust to a different sleep situation.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2018 13:20     Subject: How much to pay old nanny to watch child overnight?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who is this visit for? Is it so your son can spend time with his beloved nanny, or because the nanny would really like to see your son, or because you'd prefer to not leave him with the grandparents?

Only in the case that the nanny has been begging you to find way to let her see your son do you have room to negotiate this fee. Even in that case, I'd suggest working out a short (free) visit or a few hours babysitting (paid) rather than paying a fortune for ... what, exactly?


My son hasn't asked to see his old nanny in a while - when we first moved he did but he's now well-established in our new city with a new school, new nanny, new friends, and hasn't asked in a while. My in-laws are awesome and he loves staying with them, so I have no issue with them taking care of him. I asked our former nanny if she would WANT to have him stay with her, trying to make it clear that we did not need this to happen. She had come to visit us over the summer and had been asking for another time to visit but we've been busy literally every single weekend since October and had been traveling a lot and it hadn't worked out, so I thought this might be a good chance for her to get to see him. So I guess that's the problem - I feel like I'm doing this as a favor to her rather than the other way around, so paying her $300 so she can see my son just seems like a lot.


So, say that: "Larla, I need to talk to you. I've been thinking about the wedding weekend more. I would love to bring little Jimmy to see you, but I can't really justify $300 for the night when his grandparents can do it. Would you just like to come by their house and see him for a little while? Or we could bring him by just to say hello in the morning before we go."

And then you see what she says. She may say, "Oh my goodness! I never expected you to pay me for this visit!" In which case, great! Another idea would be to have her babysit for a few hours and then drive him to your parents' house. It depends on whether he'll be awake for any portion of this time, obviously.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2018 13:05     Subject: How much to pay old nanny to watch child overnight?
Anonymous wrote:Who is this visit for? Is it so your son can spend time with his beloved nanny, or because the nanny would really like to see your son, or because you'd prefer to not leave him with the grandparents?

Only in the case that the nanny has been begging you to find way to let her see your son do you have room to negotiate this fee. Even in that case, I'd suggest working out a short (free) visit or a few hours babysitting (paid) rather than paying a fortune for ... what, exactly?


My son hasn't asked to see his old nanny in a while - when we first moved he did but he's now well-established in our new city with a new school, new nanny, new friends, and hasn't asked in a while. My in-laws are awesome and he loves staying with them, so I have no issue with them taking care of him. I asked our former nanny if she would WANT to have him stay with her, trying to make it clear that we did not need this to happen. She had come to visit us over the summer and had been asking for another time to visit but we've been busy literally every single weekend since October and had been traveling a lot and it hadn't worked out, so I thought this might be a good chance for her to get to see him. So I guess that's the problem - I feel like I'm doing this as a favor to her rather than the other way around, so paying her $300 so she can see my son just seems like a lot.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2018 12:07     Subject: How much to pay old nanny to watch child overnight?
Anonymous wrote:Who is this visit for? Is it so your son can spend time with his beloved nanny, or because the nanny would really like to see your son, or because you'd prefer to not leave him with the grandparents?

Only in the case that the nanny has been begging you to find way to let her see your son do you have room to negotiate this fee. Even in that case, I'd suggest working out a short (free) visit or a few hours babysitting (paid) rather than paying a fortune for ... what, exactly?



I'm not the OP, but I agree that this has been confusing to me (our nanny recently left to take a position in a different field). If our former nanny really wants to see our child because she misses him, but then my husband and I go out for a few hours when she comes over (partly so we can take advantage of the time, but also partly so they can have some quality time together) - is the understanding that we pay her her old rate? I understand this is slightly different from the OP who is talking about overnight.

Is there ever an instance where we can consider that our former nanny is now truly a friend and therefore we wouldn't treat her like an employee anymore? As a comparison, we've had visiting friends come over before and insist that they wanted to watch our son so we could have a few hours outside the house. We made sure there was plenty of food available for them, were gone just long enough to see a movie, and of course were profuse in our thanks, but we didn't pay them. If our former nanny initiates the visit, would that be a similar situation?

And of course I can just ask her, but I also don't want to insult her if this is a ridiculous question.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2018 11:20     Subject: How much to pay old nanny to watch child overnight?
Who is this visit for? Is it so your son can spend time with his beloved nanny, or because the nanny would really like to see your son, or because you'd prefer to not leave him with the grandparents?

Only in the case that the nanny has been begging you to find way to let her see your son do you have room to negotiate this fee. Even in that case, I'd suggest working out a short (free) visit or a few hours babysitting (paid) rather than paying a fortune for ... what, exactly?
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2018 11:01     Subject: Re:How much to pay old nanny to watch child overnight?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:More than you did when she was your full time nanny.


Why more?

I'm not trying to be cheap since she was paid for 100+ hours per pay period before, so tons of OT, all on the books, plenty of benefits, etc. I'm just thinking it's not worth it for us to even bring him if it's going to cost me hundreds of dollars. The other option is he could stay in town with my in-laws and be perfectly happy.


Why do you think you should be paying her less?! That makes no sense.

Keep him home with the in laws.


Why does not more equal less? Do you have trouble understanding that not more could mean the same?
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2018 11:01     Subject: How much to pay old nanny to watch child overnight?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She is going to expect the same compensation, not less. Plus she is having your son at her home, which is harder.


Absolutely correct. If you want someone to take care of your little brat in the nights when your sleeping, don't try to be cheap. Pay us what we are worth.



Based on your post, you're not worth anything.