I agree with a sit down- ideally with both parents - to talk about the transition and what you need to make the next two months smooth. I think the opening of so you want me to stay or do you want to part ways now is a good one. Likely they don’t want you to leave but it puts you in power position to negotiate for her to cut the shit.

I almost quit when MB was on maternity leave with #3 and she almost fired me (I heard her talking to agencies) but I think the Dad saved me because they did a trial with a nanny and MB wanted her. The kids told me. I couldn’t handle being home with MB micromanaging all day long. She one day told me how to open a new bottle of dish soap, I’m not kidding. Anyway, if her mom came to stay if quit immediately.

Glad I stuck it out though, 7 years later I’m still here!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nannies: get a reference letter after your first year and possibly annually thereafter.

OP, you need to have a serious sit down with your boss. Tell her that she is threatening your career and your livelihood and it is not something you will tolerate. Be clear, if she falsely defamates you that you will absolutely sue her. That you are sorry that she is upset, but that you have been a stellar nanny and you choosing to depart needs to be handled professionally.

This (except the reference letter which means nothing).

Tell her the above - or write her the above in an email. You should be working together on how to make this transition as easy as possible for the child.

The reference letter could help in a situation like this. It proves that the boss is not unhappy with the nanny’s work, but is just upset. Plus, it doesn’t hurt. But you do you.

How’s it going, OP? Did you talk to your employer?

Anonymous wrote:Doctors have oversight at hospitals during surgery.

Although Op used this as a reference, two different lanes. If this is true, doctors are aware when they signed up to be a doctor. Op did not sign up to be micromanaged (IN HER FIELD) by grandma.

Do you ever see DB? Can you talk to him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doctors have oversight at hospitals during surgery.

Which hospitals are those? Someone might check after the surgery, but after their residencies, they are completely in charge of how they run their OR.

All surgeries are filmed. All of them.

That might be an argument for nanny cams, but not for micromanaging grandmas, which is the actual topic here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doctors have oversight at hospitals during surgery.

Which hospitals are those? Someone might check after the surgery, but after their residencies, they are completely in charge of how they run their OR.

All surgeries are filmed. All of them.

Anonymous wrote:Doctors have oversight at hospitals during surgery.

Which hospitals are those? Someone might check after the surgery, but after their residencies, they are completely in charge of how they run their OR.

Anonymous wrote:You have a very rare first page consensus that is telling you to stand up to your employer and that you are absolutely not in the wrong. This is pretty unheard of on the DCUM nanny forum. Even our resident troll can’t find fault with you.

Please take the advice given and stand up to your employer and basically tell her to cut the shit. She changed your job - not you.

Very, very unusual on DCUM that no one disagrees with you. I hope you allow that to empower you, OP. Your employer has absolutely no right to treat you like she is and you had every reason to quit.

All the best to you!

Doctors have oversight at hospitals during surgery.

Sorry Op. I wouldn’t put up with her being nasty and telling you that you have ruined her pregnancy was low (and heartful). I agree with one pp, stop engaging with her about why you are leaving. You’ve explained it and it’s final- unless, her mom moves somewhere else but still close to help out as needed. Yet again, after all that MB has said the respect is gone and I wouldn’t want to stay.

It would suck if she decided not to write a letter of recommendation. However, I would be upfront with your next family and let them know why you decided to leave and how you were treated by your decision (and tell them she declined to write the recommendation because of it and that you gave AMPLE notice- and tell them how much notice you gave). If you have other (current) references, that should be just as good. Just be honest with the next family.

In the future, never give a reason why. "I've decided to move on." why? "It's time for me to move on."

Never give reasons. It never ends well.