Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are new to the live-in nanny world. Our nanny is 23. What rules or guidelines do you have? It's not like we have a teen age daughter living under our roof but she does live under our roof. She does have access to a car and we have firmly said no drinking and driving but so far that's all we've said.

Are you crazy,? What she does in off time is her business and none of yours. She is a live in and your home is her home. I do not see how you can tell her that her boyfriend cannot sleep over. Or, maybe you're like Brett Kavanaugh and remained a virgin until your wedding night!! You will be looking for a new nanny soon.

It’s not they nanny’s home, period. And no, she doesn’t get to treat it as though it is. The OP gets to make the rules in her home, that that may very well include no drugs and no overnight guests. It also includes nonintoxication when driving OP’s car. This is all very common.

Yes, her quarters are legally her home for the duration of the position. I believe you meant it’s not her house. While true, this is an adult, and she should be treated that way, provided there is a separate entrance. Without a separate entrance, you won’t oeep her long, but caution is more understood!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are new to the live-in nanny world. Our nanny is 23. What rules or guidelines do you have? It's not like we have a teen age daughter living under our roof but she does live under our roof. She does have access to a car and we have firmly said no drinking and driving but so far that's all we've said.

Are you crazy,? What she does in off time is her business and none of yours. She is a live in and your home is her home. I do not see how you can tell her that her boyfriend cannot sleep over. Or, maybe you're like Brett Kavanaugh and remained a virgin until your wedding night!! You will be looking for a new nanny soon.

lol, dilusional. The nanny's home? Ummm, no.

Those are the rules - if the nanny can't abide by them, then move on. Otherwise, she can get creative - go to his house, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are new to the live-in nanny world. Our nanny is 23. What rules or guidelines do you have? It's not like we have a teen age daughter living under our roof but she does live under our roof. She does have access to a car and we have firmly said no drinking and driving but so far that's all we've said.

Are you crazy,? What she does in off time is her business and none of yours. She is a live in and your home is her home. I do not see how you can tell her that her boyfriend cannot sleep over. Or, maybe you're like Brett Kavanaugh and remained a virgin until your wedding night!! You will be looking for a new nanny soon.

It’s not they nanny’s home, period. And no, she doesn’t get to treat it as though it is. The OP gets to make the rules in her home, that that may very well include no drugs and no overnight guests. It also includes nonintoxication when driving OP’s car. This is all very common.

Anonymous wrote:We are new to the live-in nanny world. Our nanny is 23. What rules or guidelines do you have? It's not like we have a teen age daughter living under our roof but she does live under our roof. She does have access to a car and we have firmly said no drinking and driving but so far that's all we've said.

Are you crazy,? What she does in off time is her business and none of yours. She is a live in and your home is her home. I do not see how you can tell her that her boyfriend cannot sleep over. Or, maybe you're like Brett Kavanaugh and remained a virgin until your wedding night!! You will be looking for a new nanny soon.

This is a tough one. Does she stay in a walk out basement where her "guest" can exit without being seen? My initial response would be to say "no". Last thing you want is random folks you don't know entering your house. Nothing wrong with that approach. IF she doesn't work on weekends, nothing wrong with her spending the night at the guy's place.

I suppose I would feel different if it was a serious BF.

Anonymous wrote:We have a no overnight guest rule for our live in. No strange men here.

We have met a boyfriend that come to pick her up at our house once or twice and of course friends, but no overnight guests.

same, we reiterate this when we go out of town too.

She's living in, she's the age of an AP, and you're looking to treat her as an AP. You might want to review the kinds of issues HFs have, because that's essentially what you are getting into.

Are you asking specifically about overnight guests? Obviously no drinking and driving, remind her to use an Uber if she plans to drink, though a glass of wine at dinner is perfectly acceptable. No curfew or anything like that. As far as overnight guests go, threat is very personal. For me (I think, but have never been in your situation) I would have a blanket rule of no overnight guests with the caveat that exceptions can be made on a case by case basis, be that a girlfriend visiting, a boyfriend you feel safe with, etc. What are the questions that you are trying to navigate?