Anonymous wrote:Op here. I was thinkig it’s kind of like a nanny share actually. Of course I’d prefer for nanny not to bring her kid and focus solely on my kid, but if it’s a lot less expensive then it would be worth it. Just wondering how much to offer. Also does it matter that it’s under the table?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would her pay be affected by whether or not she brings her child? She’s still doing the work.

This argument is so ridiculous I cringe every time I hear it. In childcare, you pay for the ratio. If you have one child then by hiring a nanny, the most expensive form of childcare, you are guaranteeing a 1:1 ratio (your child gets 100% of the caregivers attention), and you are paying for that, usually $20-25/hr.

If you are doing a nanny share with another family with one child the ratio is now 1:2 (your child is getting about 50% of the caregivers attention), and thus the cost goes down to roughly $12-15/hr per family.

If you enroll your child in daycare, where the ratios are much higher, 1:4 or 1:6, then again your cost goes down, to about $5-10/hr.

Maternal bias is a REAL thing. I see it regularly at the library and playground where I often see nannies with their charges and their own children. The nanny gives her own child more attention every time. If both kids are crying, who does she run to first?

So, if a nanny brings her own child, the ratio may be 1:2, but your child is likely getting even less than 50% of nanny's attention, since she will inherently favor her own child.

And especially with the age difference this is a bad plan for a million reasons. Is your home fully toddler proofed yet? Is nanny expecting you to provide a pack n play, extra high chair and double stroller to accommodate her child? What will happen when nanny's child is ill? When your own child is ill will nanny take the day off and expect to be paid for it so she doesn't risk getting her own child sick? Are you going to provide food for both nanny AND her child? Is your baby going to be expected just to nap on the go every morning so nanny's child can continue his usual routine? Is your baby going to spend twice as much time in a baby bjorn or stroller while nanny engages more directly with her own child?

What if nanny's child sees mommy taking care of a new baby and feels jealous and retaliates? What if nanny's child hits baby? What if nanny's child acts out while mommy is feeding baby and draws all over your walls with markers?

I personally know a mother who hired a nanny who brought her own child. The nanny's child was a few months older than her charge, they were both toddlers. DD had many bumps and bruises at the end of the day, but her mom chalked it up to being a toddler. But after a while she began to wonder and set up visible cameras. It turned out that nanny's son was repeatedly hitting and pushing DD. They tried speaking to the nanny about their concerns, but the situation only got worse, and after nanny's son pushed DD down the stairs they finally came to their senses and fired her.

No, a nanny who brings her own child does not deserve the same pay as a nanny who doesn't bring a child, because the ratio of children to caregiver increases and therefore it is literally impossible for your child to be getting the 1:1 attention that makes nanny care so expensive in the first place.

This is absolutely true for a beginner and someone who doesn’t know how to stimulate both children, SIMULTANEOUSLY! Include, include, include all children in activities! If the baby is younger, have the older one help “Timmy can you help me read to the baby? What story should we read first?” If you’re doing arts and crafts, create 2 of the same projects, just make one more challenging for the older child- this is done in daycare as well. You can put baby down, spend 5 extra minutes cuddling on your baby and put him or her to sleep so they are on the same schedule. It’s not rocket science! Stop being cheap! Being a nanny is a job and it’s a very essential job at that.

Let me guess, pp, you are a nanny who brings her own child

Your post makes very little sense. Are they on staggered sleep schedules so nanny can spend one on one time as you suggest or are they on the same sleep schedule, which you also suggest?? Obviously a 1 year old and a 3 month old have such drastically different sleep needs that trying to keep them on the same sleep schedule will be futile and make everyone miserable.

And how is she realistically going to include a 3 month old in 1 year old activities and vice versa? Sure, they can sit and read a book together, but beyond that this isn't very realistic with this type of age gap. I foresee a lot of baby in the stroller or carrier or laying on an activity playmat without direct attention while nanny focuses on the needs of her own child. And as the kids get older this will only become more difficult, as nanny would have a 10-15 month old charge and her own 2 year old. At the park is she going to be chasing after her fast toddler on the play structure while baby, who at that age really needs to be working on gross motor skills such as climbing, crawling, walking, instead sits in the stroller or baby swing or baby carrier the whole time?

This scenario, with these ages, really benefits no one and likely will be a real detriment to baby who would take a back seat to the toddlers needs.

OP, your infant is literally better off in a decent daycare with other infants than with a nanny with her own toddler present. Or in a true infant nanny share or with her own private nanny, if you can afford that.

Nope. No children but in a share with a 4 month old, 23 month old and 2.5 yr old. We manage- I still have a job (so I’m doing something right) and have time to send my families a weekly calendar of activities indoor and outdoor. Again, it’s not impossible. And as they get older, you should be encouraging independent play, where you can still help younger child with gross motor.

What’s your occupation? How many kids do you have pp? It may be challenging for you to handle multiples but not for all- especially when we do this for a living. I’m not going to waste my time explaining how you can use the same materials for a project but challenge the older one (everybody loves paint)!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would her pay be affected by whether or not she brings her child? She’s still doing the work.

This argument is so ridiculous I cringe every time I hear it. In childcare, you pay for the ratio. If you have one child then by hiring a nanny, the most expensive form of childcare, you are guaranteeing a 1:1 ratio (your child gets 100% of the caregivers attention), and you are paying for that, usually $20-25/hr.

If you are doing a nanny share with another family with one child the ratio is now 1:2 (your child is getting about 50% of the caregivers attention), and thus the cost goes down to roughly $12-15/hr per family.

If you enroll your child in daycare, where the ratios are much higher, 1:4 or 1:6, then again your cost goes down, to about $5-10/hr.

Maternal bias is a REAL thing. I see it regularly at the library and playground where I often see nannies with their charges and their own children. The nanny gives her own child more attention every time. If both kids are crying, who does she run to first?

So, if a nanny brings her own child, the ratio may be 1:2, but your child is likely getting even less than 50% of nanny's attention, since she will inherently favor her own child.

And especially with the age difference this is a bad plan for a million reasons. Is your home fully toddler proofed yet? Is nanny expecting you to provide a pack n play, extra high chair and double stroller to accommodate her child? What will happen when nanny's child is ill? When your own child is ill will nanny take the day off and expect to be paid for it so she doesn't risk getting her own child sick? Are you going to provide food for both nanny AND her child? Is your baby going to be expected just to nap on the go every morning so nanny's child can continue his usual routine? Is your baby going to spend twice as much time in a baby bjorn or stroller while nanny engages more directly with her own child?

What if nanny's child sees mommy taking care of a new baby and feels jealous and retaliates? What if nanny's child hits baby? What if nanny's child acts out while mommy is feeding baby and draws all over your walls with markers?

I personally know a mother who hired a nanny who brought her own child. The nanny's child was a few months older than her charge, they were both toddlers. DD had many bumps and bruises at the end of the day, but her mom chalked it up to being a toddler. But after a while she began to wonder and set up visible cameras. It turned out that nanny's son was repeatedly hitting and pushing DD. They tried speaking to the nanny about their concerns, but the situation only got worse, and after nanny's son pushed DD down the stairs they finally came to their senses and fired her.

No, a nanny who brings her own child does not deserve the same pay as a nanny who doesn't bring a child, because the ratio of children to caregiver increases and therefore it is literally impossible for your child to be getting the 1:1 attention that makes nanny care so expensive in the first place.

This is absolutely true for a beginner and someone who doesn’t know how to stimulate both children, SIMULTANEOUSLY! Include, include, include all children in activities! If the baby is younger, have the older one help “Timmy can you help me read to the baby? What story should we read first?” If you’re doing arts and crafts, create 2 of the same projects, just make one more challenging for the older child- this is done in daycare as well. You can put baby down, spend 5 extra minutes cuddling on your baby and put him or her to sleep so they are on the same schedule. It’s not rocket science! Stop being cheap! Being a nanny is a job and it’s a very essential job at that.

Let me guess, pp, you are a nanny who brings her own child

Your post makes very little sense. Are they on staggered sleep schedules so nanny can spend one on one time as you suggest or are they on the same sleep schedule, which you also suggest?? Obviously a 1 year old and a 3 month old have such drastically different sleep needs that trying to keep them on the same sleep schedule will be futile and make everyone miserable.

And how is she realistically going to include a 3 month old in 1 year old activities and vice versa? Sure, they can sit and read a book together, but beyond that this isn't very realistic with this type of age gap. I foresee a lot of baby in the stroller or carrier or laying on an activity playmat without direct attention while nanny focuses on the needs of her own child. And as the kids get older this will only become more difficult, as nanny would have a 10-15 month old charge and her own 2 year old. At the park is she going to be chasing after her fast toddler on the play structure while baby, who at that age really needs to be working on gross motor skills such as climbing, crawling, walking, instead sits in the stroller or baby swing or baby carrier the whole time?

This scenario, with these ages, really benefits no one and likely will be a real detriment to baby who would take a back seat to the toddlers needs.

OP, your infant is literally better off in a decent daycare with other infants than with a nanny with her own toddler present. Or in a true infant nanny share or with her own private nanny, if you can afford that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would her pay be affected by whether or not she brings her child? She’s still doing the work.

This argument is so ridiculous I cringe every time I hear it. In childcare, you pay for the ratio. If you have one child then by hiring a nanny, the most expensive form of childcare, you are guaranteeing a 1:1 ratio (your child gets 100% of the caregivers attention), and you are paying for that, usually $20-25/hr.

If you are doing a nanny share with another family with one child the ratio is now 1:2 (your child is getting about 50% of the caregivers attention), and thus the cost goes down to roughly $12-15/hr per family.

If you enroll your child in daycare, where the ratios are much higher, 1:4 or 1:6, then again your cost goes down, to about $5-10/hr.

Maternal bias is a REAL thing. I see it regularly at the library and playground where I often see nannies with their charges and their own children. The nanny gives her own child more attention every time. If both kids are crying, who does she run to first?

So, if a nanny brings her own child, the ratio may be 1:2, but your child is likely getting even less than 50% of nanny's attention, since she will inherently favor her own child.

And especially with the age difference this is a bad plan for a million reasons. Is your home fully toddler proofed yet? Is nanny expecting you to provide a pack n play, extra high chair and double stroller to accommodate her child? What will happen when nanny's child is ill? When your own child is ill will nanny take the day off and expect to be paid for it so she doesn't risk getting her own child sick? Are you going to provide food for both nanny AND her child? Is your baby going to be expected just to nap on the go every morning so nanny's child can continue his usual routine? Is your baby going to spend twice as much time in a baby bjorn or stroller while nanny engages more directly with her own child?

What if nanny's child sees mommy taking care of a new baby and feels jealous and retaliates? What if nanny's child hits baby? What if nanny's child acts out while mommy is feeding baby and draws all over your walls with markers?

I personally know a mother who hired a nanny who brought her own child. The nanny's child was a few months older than her charge, they were both toddlers. DD had many bumps and bruises at the end of the day, but her mom chalked it up to being a toddler. But after a while she began to wonder and set up visible cameras. It turned out that nanny's son was repeatedly hitting and pushing DD. They tried speaking to the nanny about their concerns, but the situation only got worse, and after nanny's son pushed DD down the stairs they finally came to their senses and fired her.

No, a nanny who brings her own child does not deserve the same pay as a nanny who doesn't bring a child, because the ratio of children to caregiver increases and therefore it is literally impossible for your child to be getting the 1:1 attention that makes nanny care so expensive in the first place.

This is absolutely true for a beginner and someone who doesn’t know how to stimulate both children, SIMULTANEOUSLY! Include, include, include all children in activities! If the baby is younger, have the older one help “Timmy can you help me read to the baby? What story should we read first?” If you’re doing arts and crafts, create 2 of the same projects, just make one more challenging for the older child- this is done in daycare as well. You can put baby down, spend 5 extra minutes cuddling on your baby and put him or her to sleep so they are on the same schedule. It’s not rocket science! Stop being cheap! Being a nanny is a job and it’s a very essential job at that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate when people assume that all nannies who bring their children to work pay less attention to the child they get paid to watch. I’m not saying all nannies are like that but like in any situation, it’s a 50% chance that the nanny may or may not play favortism- you just don’t know.

It’s pretty hard to compare a daycare ratio to a nanny-share. For 1, most daycares, at least in MD and DC the infant and toddler ratio is 1:3 or 1:4 and twos are 1:4 or 1:6. However, you are responsible for all 6, 8 or 12 children!

In a nanny share with 2 children (where nether child is yours) how can only one child get 50% of your time? These kids eat, sleep, play, get pushed in the stroller and participate in activities together. If there’s an age difference, any good nanny would incoroporate a schedule that has both children getting the same amount of attention. It’s really not hard to give equal amount of attention to 2 children regardless of if the child is yours.

Now to the original post. I think that if you’re not comfortable with the nanny bringing her child, then you shouldn’t allow it. However, you can always throw a number out there and if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. Although she’s bringing her child, your expectations should be the same (if she wasn’t) because you are paying her for a service, therefore, her rate shouldn’t matter. If you’re paying her a lower rate, then you are basically telling her “it’s okay to pay more attention to your child.” My suggestion would be to pay her a flat (weekly) rate since it’s under the table, which, could (and should) be anywhere between $400-600 per week.

Is that 400-600 per week, or for the 3 days?

Anonymous wrote:I hate when people assume that all nannies who bring their children to work pay less attention to the child they get paid to watch. I’m not saying all nannies are like that but like in any situation, it’s a 50% chance that the nanny may or may not play favortism- you just don’t know.

It’s pretty hard to compare a daycare ratio to a nanny-share. For 1, most daycares, at least in MD and DC the infant and toddler ratio is 1:3 or 1:4 and twos are 1:4 or 1:6. However, you are responsible for all 6, 8 or 12 children!

In a nanny share with 2 children (where nether child is yours) how can only one child get 50% of your time? These kids eat, sleep, play, get pushed in the stroller and participate in activities together. If there’s an age difference, any good nanny would incoroporate a schedule that has both children getting the same amount of attention. It’s really not hard to give equal amount of attention to 2 children regardless of if the child is yours.

Now to the original post. I think that if you’re not comfortable with the nanny bringing her child, then you shouldn’t allow it. However, you can always throw a number out there and if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. Although she’s bringing her child, your expectations should be the same (if she wasn’t) because you are paying her for a service, therefore, her rate shouldn’t matter. If you’re paying her a lower rate, then you are basically telling her “it’s okay to pay more attention to your child.” My suggestion would be to pay her a flat (weekly) rate since it’s under the table, which, could (and should) be anywhere between $400-600 per week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would her pay be affected by whether or not she brings her child? She’s still doing the work.

This argument is so ridiculous I cringe every time I hear it. In childcare, you pay for the ratio. If you have one child then by hiring a nanny, the most expensive form of childcare, you are guaranteeing a 1:1 ratio (your child gets 100% of the caregivers attention), and you are paying for that, usually $20-25/hr.

If you are doing a nanny share with another family with one child the ratio is now 1:2 (your child is getting about 50% of the caregivers attention), and thus the cost goes down to roughly $12-15/hr per family.

If you enroll your child in daycare, where the ratios are much higher, 1:4 or 1:6, then again your cost goes down, to about $5-10/hr.

Maternal bias is a REAL thing. I see it regularly at the library and playground where I often see nannies with their charges and their own children. The nanny gives her own child more attention every time. If both kids are crying, who does she run to first?

So, if a nanny brings her own child, the ratio may be 1:2, but your child is likely getting even less than 50% of nanny's attention, since she will inherently favor her own child.

And especially with the age difference this is a bad plan for a million reasons. Is your home fully toddler proofed yet? Is nanny expecting you to provide a pack n play, extra high chair and double stroller to accommodate her child? What will happen when nanny's child is ill? When your own child is ill will nanny take the day off and expect to be paid for it so she doesn't risk getting her own child sick? Are you going to provide food for both nanny AND her child? Is your baby going to be expected just to nap on the go every morning so nanny's child can continue his usual routine? Is your baby going to spend twice as much time in a baby bjorn or stroller while nanny engages more directly with her own child?

What if nanny's child sees mommy taking care of a new baby and feels jealous and retaliates? What if nanny's child hits baby? What if nanny's child acts out while mommy is feeding baby and draws all over your walls with markers?

I personally know a mother who hired a nanny who brought her own child. The nanny's child was a few months older than her charge, they were both toddlers. DD had many bumps and bruises at the end of the day, but her mom chalked it up to being a toddler. But after a while she began to wonder and set up visible cameras. It turned out that nanny's son was repeatedly hitting and pushing DD. They tried speaking to the nanny about their concerns, but the situation only got worse, and after nanny's son pushed DD down the stairs they finally came to their senses and fired her.

No, a nanny who brings her own child does not deserve the same pay as a nanny who doesn't bring a child, because the ratio of children to caregiver increases and therefore it is literally impossible for your child to be getting the 1:1 attention that makes nanny care so expensive in the first place.

Anonymous wrote:If she's bringing her own child, it's essentially a share arrangement so you'd calculate it based on that, and yes, it would be a little higher because it's part-time. (Three days per week is part-time, even if for full days.)

Probably $12-$15 depending on what the going rates are for nannyshares in your area. Ask around.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is entirely up to both you + the Nanny whether payment under the table would work for you both.

I totally disagree that part-time workers should make more money just because they work less.
The reason for this would be based on the belief that ALL Nannies want to work full-time & that if you pay them a full-time rate (lower), then supposedly they will be looking for a new full-time gig and leave your family high + dry.
Flawed logic all around.

**NEWS FLASH: ->> There are some Nannies who actually prefer to work on a part-time basis.
Also, other jobs do not offer higher pay for part-time workers.

For example, I recently read an article that stated Walmart pays its full-time employees more than their part-time.

You’re probably another cheap MB
Walmart’s policy is irrelevant to this post because they’re two very different positions

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would her pay be affected by whether or not she brings her child? She’s still doing the work.

I’m the poster who commented first. I said $20-22 because it’s part time and the employer is ok with her being her child. $12-15 is WAY too low, even if she brings her kid. Stop low balling. Op: I do suggest trying to find another nanny. A 3 month old and 1 yo is tough, the older child might disrupt your child’s schedule. And no this is not paid like a nanny share. That’s ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot afford a nanny but you want to hire one anyway.

You are paying under the table so you can “save” money.

You are hiring this nanny bc you, like many of these moms, believe if she brings her child she will not work as hard. So you justify a lower wage and compare it to a nanny share. When in reality you are hiring a nanny for your child who I assume you would want to be skilled. However, it isn’t a share bc she is not paying into it. What she is doing is providing a service to you and should be paid accordingly for that service. If you believe she isn’t going to perform it well bc she is bringing her child then why hire her. But alas, we come back to the argument so many of the moms present on this forum to justify paying someone low.

You want someone to help you justify paying her low bc she is bringing her child. So pay her between $12-$15 so you can save money and tell everyone you have a nanny.

I’d be hiring a nnny who would share her time between caring for two kids. So it’s basically a nanny hare but even worse for me is she’d be more attentive to her kid obviously. We both prefer it to be under the table cuz it saves us both money.

Anonymous wrote:You cannot afford a nanny but you want to hire one anyway.

You are paying under the table so you can “save” money.

You are hiring this nanny bc you, like many of these moms, believe if she brings her child she will not work as hard. So you justify a lower wage and compare it to a nanny share. When in reality you are hiring a nanny for your child who I assume you would want to be skilled. However, it isn’t a share bc she is not paying into it. What she is doing is providing a service to you and should be paid accordingly for that service. If you believe she isn’t going to perform it well bc she is bringing her child then why hire her. But alas, we come back to the argument so many of the moms present on this forum to justify paying someone low.

You want someone to help you justify paying her low bc she is bringing her child. So pay her between $12-$15 so you can save money and tell everyone you have a nanny.

Anonymous wrote:I think it is entirely up to both you + the Nanny whether payment under the table would work for you both.

I totally disagree that part-time workers should make more money just because they work less.
The reason for this would be based on the belief that ALL Nannies want to work full-time & that if you pay them a full-time rate (lower), then supposedly they will be looking for a new full-time gig and leave your family high + dry.
Flawed logic all around.

**NEWS FLASH: ->> There are some Nannies who actually prefer to work on a part-time basis.
Also, other jobs do not offer higher pay for part-time workers.

For example, I recently read an article that stated Walmart pays its full-time employees more than their part-time.