So, she was attempting to take HER vacation week to line up with yours, but that didn’t work well so she wants a week off in August...That does give you 45 days. The problem you are having is that you don’t actually want to allow your nanny a week of her own choosing. If I were your nanny I would look for another job. I must have at least one week of my own choosing, period. But, to each their own.

Agreed. If you have a 45-day rule and she's within that period, the answer is a hard no on changing it. I would also change your contract moving forward to definitely say that one week must be of your choosing. It's too wishy washy to say "try to coordinate your vacation with ours"--either she chooses her week or she doesn't.

Personally, I would probably give her the week that she wants off unpaid and arrange camp that week. But presented with that option, she may choose not to do it anyway.

If you have a 45-day rule, then why is this giving you such a stomachache? This should be easy. You have two options:

1) You tell her no on her preferred week, and that she is still expected to take the originally-scheduled week off. You risk a resentful, unhappy nanny, but oh well. Maybe she'll plan better next time.

2) You tell her yes on her preferred week, but unpaid. So she will end up with two weeks off, but only one week paid. Still a headache for you, but cheaper.

FYI- we told her no, this is unprofessional and we can only do this if No Pay as we have to incure significant costs ($1400 vs typically $800/week) and brain damage to make changes with camps, grandparents, kids, maybe even us since this is making me sick to my stomach not knowing wtf is going on.

Op here, we have 45 days notice for week vacations and she is now within that time frame and we already arranged to have kids at the out of state grandparents while we are at a wedding. Contract also says to try to take vacation when we do. We told her our trips in March-got no response from her and then again in May- to which she said she will do her things during those two weeks we are gone. We went ahead and make our plans, flights and camps.

Now mid June she wants to “choose” a different week off in August. She has no real rreason Arun. Monday she said it’s because she r century went and signed up for a night class that ends during our last vacation week. Then today she said it’s because when she recently looked up flights to start planning she didn’t like the prices.

To change things now costs $200 change fee times two kids and one grandparent flight plus scramble to find some camps here or there. Plus hire a babysitter for split hours or 59 hours a week plus pay nanny who constantly changes her mind and can’t plan her vacation unless it’s last minute.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We told our nanny to pls take summer vacation one of the July or August weeks we are away. She agreed and added one extra travel day.

Now today, said nanny is texting us that she wants a different adjacent week. She is citing a new free evening class at MoCo Community College during our trip that she wants to do and thus take off once it's done. That may or may not be true.

I feel this is highly unprofessional in childcare to every 4 weeks change what week you are gone. Our kids need different camps to sign up for, or pay a babysitter as well or fly in grandparents, etc. It's a big headache to redo the childcare arrangement and the fear it will change again.

I may have to do this unpaid if she wants a third week off this summer.

When you say adjacent, do you mean she wants 2 vacation weeks? Or did you mean that she wants to take her vacation after you take yours?

It sounds like OP will be gone for a week in July and a week in August and asked the nanny to take vacation during one of these two weeks. Nanny instead wants to take an adjacent week following one or the other of those vacation weeks--is that correct, OP? FWIW that is usually how our nanny took vacation--she would ask when we planned to be away and then plan to take the following week so that she'd have enough time off to travel somewhere. However, we gave two weeks of her choosing, so she was free to do that.

OP, the takeaway here is that you need to add a clause to your contract specifying how much notice should be given. We had a 30-day-notice requirement for any planned vacation time. It could not be changed inside of the 30 days. You might also need to add something about changes after backup care/camp has been arranged.

If your contract specifies vacation of your choosing, then your nanny is out of luck. If it specifies vacation of her choosing, then you should not have asked her to take hers while you're away (but it is still entirely reasonable to require 30 days' notice).

Anonymous wrote:We told our nanny to pls take summer vacation one of the July or August weeks we are away. She agreed and added one extra travel day.

Now today, said nanny is texting us that she wants a different adjacent week. She is citing a new free evening class at MoCo Community College during our trip that she wants to do and thus take off once it's done. That may or may not be true.

I feel this is highly unprofessional in childcare to every 4 weeks change what week you are gone. Our kids need different camps to sign up for, or pay a babysitter as well or fly in grandparents, etc. It's a big headache to redo the childcare arrangement and the fear it will change again.

I may have to do this unpaid if she wants a third week off this summer.

When you say adjacent, do you mean she wants 2 vacation weeks? Or did you mean that she wants to take her vacation after you take yours?

Just say no.

Anonymous wrote:If our nanny did that I would say no she couldn’t change the week as we already made childcare arrangements.

Ditto. We also have a cut-off for vacation requests, and also need consultation for any single days off or appts where we have to make backupcare arrangements.
Spouse and I travel a far bit and we've had to put No Travel blackouts on a few weeks each year when it is a long int'l trip, and also when I was on maternity leave and could not drive.

If our nanny did that I would say no she couldn’t change the week as we already made childcare arrangements.

Anonymous wrote:I think the problem is the nanny keeps CHANGING the week of her choice off. This would drive me NUTS from a childcare coverage perspective plus it is rude.

In May you can't pick July 15th week and then in mid-June change it to early August and so on and so on. Especially if the family is traveling out of state or country before or after. Total mess.

I read it as she only changed once. From the MB's vacation to the one with the free class.

So, you have her the choice of two weeks, both of which you will be gone? She agreed and chose one, but has since changed her mind. Is that the only change she has made or did I miss something?

You mean especially if you then arranged backup childcare at the grandparents' or with another care-taker. Everyone gets jacked around.

I think the problem is the nanny keeps CHANGING the week of her choice off. This would drive me NUTS from a childcare coverage perspective plus it is rude.

In May you can't pick July 15th week and then in mid-June change it to early August and so on and so on. Especially if the family is traveling out of state or country before or after. Total mess.