Anonymous wrote:Caring for small children is exhausting, especially when you are doing outings and playgrounds. When I was a stay-at-home I napped and watched Ellen everyday when the kids napped. I wished I could get off the couch and do something productive, but I was a wreck. I was also in my 40s.

Our nanny is in her 60's and has more energy that I have ever had. She always has reminded me that she goes home at 6PM and gets a good night's sleep every night in a peaceful and calm home. SAHMs never get that.

Caring for small children is exhausting, especially when you are doing outings and playgrounds. When I was a stay-at-home I napped and watched Ellen everyday when the kids napped. I wished I could get off the couch and do something productive, but I was a wreck. I was also in my 40s.

Anonymous wrote:Mine sits around and watches TV while DD is napping (usually about 3+ hours a day, morning and afternoon combined). She will fold babies clothes and do babies dishes, but thats about it. Am going to have discussion and level-setting of expectations tomorrow, but want to be prepared with a list of things she can do.

She really doesn't seem like much of a nanny. Where did you find her? What's her pay rate?

As a nanny I have always believed that my job was to do anything and everything for my charge - her laundry, ironing, clean her playroom, make her food, and keep the living area as I found it with the exception of picking up and putting away all of her things. Now that she is 2.5, I also use her naptime to prep art and science projects for the afternoon. Sometimes I work straight thru her nap and other times I have the entire two hours to myself where I will play on my phone or nap.

I think that OP's issue is that her nanny is not doing what she contracted to do for her charge. If that is the case, I completely understand OP's complaint and think she needs to sit down with her nanny and remind her of her duties to her child.

As a mom do you take a break? I bet you do, so why is a nanny not given one? Nannies are required to at least a 30 minute lunch break by law. I work for employers who are not jerks. I do everything for the baby - do laundry, organize and clean the nursery, restock supplies, wash his dishes, and make purées.

Nanny here and when the children go down for a nap, I eat my lunch, put my feet up and relax. I work 10.5 hr days and am constantly on the go, outside and in, playing, feeding, changing diapers, potty training, teaching etc. I am so happy that my employers allow me to half time to myself (a break) when the children are napping. When the parents come home, there is never a day where the kitchen isn’t clean, the toys aren’t put away and the common areas aren’t straightened.

As long as your nanny completes all her task, you shouldn’t be bother that she takes time out for herself. Jesus.

We have had an amazing nanny with us for two years now. Dd is a long napper so it used to be 3.5 hrs a day and now it’s 2. I don’t know what she does when but she tidied all the play spaces, makes dd food for lunch and food to freeze for a couple days (including fresh soups, meatballs etc) cleans the kitchen after lunch, wipes down dining room table, laundry for dd. Etc. I come home to a very clean house (public spaces and dds room not my bedroom or bathroom) and food for dd for dinners and lunches. Once a week they vacuum and mop everything together and then go for their walk. Nanny makes herself lunch and rests or reads during some of the nap time since they spend lots of time outside all day and hats tiring.

*could NOT

^^^^PP Above is spot on re: napping.

I currently care for an eight-month old baby & her naps are all over the map.

Some days she will take a longer morning nap then a shorter afternoon nap.
Or vice versa.
Or neither.

She has been teething so her naps have been shorter lately.

I could (nor would) ever work for a family who assigned me household chores during nap times.
Considering that children do not nap consistently at all ages, I would hate to be stressed out about finishing the laundry or making sure the dishwasher was unloaded before the parents came home.

In my opinion, adding household responsibilities to a Nanny position only adds stress for the Nanny.

i think an hour long break would be reasonable at another job, but there may be a day where the child doesn't nap at all and a day where the child naps for several hours. i think having a list of tasks that should get done is more helpful-and having realistic expectations that some days not all of them will be accomplished. when i was nannying, there were days that the child took a long nap and i was able to get a lot done AND take a decent break. there were days when the child didn't nap or rest at all, or when we spent a lot of time outdoors, had a lot going on, etc. and we just weren't sitting around the house enough to get much done. i actually enjoy cleaning, but if we've been outside playing for three hours and then i had to walk home from the park, feed them, coerce the child into napping, change them, read to them, etc. then i need to sit down and be a person for a few minutes (at least 20) before i start anything else.

OP, this is very much a factor of the nanny's character. Some women are inclined to do as little as possible; some have a built-in work ethic that simply won't allow them to do nothing.

This is how we handled it with our nanny when my kids were young. We agreed that she can take an hour-long break during their naps that was entirely hers to do what she wanted. Beyond that, our expectation was that she makes herself useful. I don't much believe in making exhaustive lists for the nanny because the person you really want working for you will simply look around and see things that need doing. Our nanny took care of everything for the child, straightened up the playroom/living room/kitchen, did laundry, made food, looked up things to do etc.

I will say that this schedule was for the 9 to 5 nanny. If your nanny works a 10-hr day, I would want a longer break.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow OP,
You sound like a very selfish + terrible parent altogether!

You are trying to stretch out your dollar, feeling your Nanny should be your personal slave as long as she is on the clock.

You already hired her & have her caring for your daughter.
I am assuming you didn’t assign her any household duties upon hire.

Sorry, but it’s really too late to add on extra chores for her to do.
And if you are, be prepared to up your Nanny’s current salary.

Terrible parent huh? I’m trying to make sure that my daughters caregiver is doing her best for her. You obviously missed the point of my post - I didn’t say anything about her doing my personal chores. I think you are projecting and might need to unpack that baggage.

PP Here:
I think you missed the point of MY post OP.
I never mentioned asking her to do any of your own personal household chores.
Where did that part come from??!

And you didn’t include in your original post that your Nanny had agreed to do specific chores while caring for your child.

As a nanny for 15+ years and may I add I worked for a very high profile family. I will not work for OP. Most nannies work more then 8 hours a day, anywhere from 45-60 hours per week. With all my position, nap time has always been time for me to pack up a little, eat and rest. When you are a professional nanny, you are not expected to do household duties. Funny thing is most parents that pay low hourly rate are the ones that ask for so much.

Anonymous wrote:As a nanny I multitask...I clean as we go and at the end of the day before the parents get home. I sanitize toys once-twice a week. My break is naptime so I rest and will either watch tv or be on my iPad. Kids are exhausting and everything involving kids is exhausting.

+1
I’m pretty much the same! I clean as we go and make sure everything looks decent before my charge’s mom comes downstairs (she works from home). The only other thing we agreed on was unloading the dishwasher when needed, which I usually do once or twice a week. During nap time, I recharge. I’d be happy to do more to help out (and I’ve offered!) but they’ve stated they mainly want me focused on caring for their child.

OP, if she’s agreed to do more and she isn’t doing it, you definitely need to have a talk with her. It’s not right for her to shrug off the responsibilities you’re paying her for. Hopefully, she will step up, but you may end up having to look for a new nanny.

Have a talk with her and see how she responds. However, her refusal/neglect to do her job shows a lack of responsibility and care, so would you really even want to have her as a nanny?

As a nanny I multitask...I clean as we go and at the end of the day before the parents get home. I sanitize toys once-twice a week. My break is naptime so I rest and will either watch tv or be on my iPad. Kids are exhausting and everything involving kids is exhausting.