Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you need to interfere directly (yet)...but do let your nanny know that she has complete autonomy as to whether to accommodate or decline these requests. As long as your nanny knows that her job is not in any way in jeopardy if she says "I'm sorry...I won't be able to do that." then she will feel empowered to do whatever makes her comfortable.
If the other mom is often having your kid over for playdates, your nanny may feel obligated to reciprocate from time to time by having her kid over (or by watching her for 10 minutes until the other mom can get there, etc)...moms do this for each other all the time. And it's not that unreasonable to ask IF that is what's going on. (When you think of it that way, on days when your DC is playing at that mom's house, you are paying your nanny for that time even when she is not watching your child. So it's not really an imposition for the other mom to ASK. Nanny can always say "no can do...sorry.")

She doesn't have complete autonomy as to whether to accommodate or decline these requests. If she works for OP, OP decides how that time will be used.

Yeah--if the mom wants playdates, she should contact OP. I would tell the nanny that you don't want her watching someone else's kid when she's on the clock for you without your prior approval. If she's comfortable hosting playdates, then again, she should direct those requests to you.

This seems very demeaning to the nanny. She has to clear all playdates with OP?

I would say no for mutual play dates, but this is more like routine babysitting. Maybe MB doesn't want her son to have play dates so often. I would want to be asked if it were becoming a regular thing.