I make sure she is well stocked with staples. I leave $10/day. I don't care how she spends it.

Anonymous wrote:I think you received a lot of good advice here. It really comes down to how well stocked you leave your kitchen/recently grocery shopped. For example, if she drinks milk daily, are you leaving her with a full gallon? If she eats an omelette and salad for lunch every day, have you left her with a couple dozen eggs, fresh lettuce, etc?

I have a good relationship with my AP, so I would probably just run it by her. She eats a lot of the same foods so I would make sure those items were available. I am not a big fan of her doing the shopping because she tends to grab more expensive items (extra large brown cage free vitamin D organic grass fed etc... )

Wonder if this same AP would buy extra large brown cage free vitamin D organic grass fed etc. if she is paying for it with her own money or would choose generic large eggs.

Seriously... think about what your au pair normally eats. Mine would be something like

- Breakfast: cereal and milk every morning
- Lunch: eggs, cheese, lunch meat, bread, easy microwavable stuff like Hot Pockets
- Dinner: whatever we make or leftovers, so harder to estimate
- Snacks/dessert: chips, fruit, ice cream, which some families not even offer because "junk food"

There's no reason why we wouldn't have everything on hand except for dinner, which she could easily make from rice/pasta/meat from the freezer/etc. So, if I were nice, I'd give her $10/day for dinner which is a cheap fast food dinner or subsidizing a nicer restaurant meal. But honestly, that's optional. She chose to stay home during the week instead of making her own travel plans. You could get a few frozen pizzas, frozen lasagna, etc and she'd be fine for dinner too.

I think you received a lot of good advice here. It really comes down to how well stocked you leave your kitchen/recently grocery shopped. For example, if she drinks milk daily, are you leaving her with a full gallon? If she eats an omelette and salad for lunch every day, have you left her with a couple dozen eggs, fresh lettuce, etc?

I have a good relationship with my AP, so I would probably just run it by her. She eats a lot of the same foods so I would make sure those items were available. I am not a big fan of her doing the shopping because she tends to grab more expensive items (extra large brown cage free vitamin D organic grass fed etc... )

Been in this situation several times before, both with mediocre and wonderful au pairs. To avoid hassle and headache, we leave a pretty stocked kitchen and $10-15 per day just to make sure if there's anything needed she has the funds to cover it. BUT we leave it in an envelope in the kitchen with instructions to use what she needs and leave the receipt. Just as you would at work with petty cash. I don't care if she makes a steak dinner every day or orders pizza. However, we aren't going to fund her party alcohol or fancy restaurant splurge AND come home to a completely depleted kitchen.

Exactly!! If AP is smart, she will use food items at home and use the $50 for a couple of meals out and be nice and replenish the milk before HF returns.

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Just wow. You people are nuts. Would you behave the same way to your kid in college? I doubt it.

The au pair is not walking into an empty home where she has to buy everything including salt and pepper. In my home, if we are away for a week, one could survive with what is left behind without spending a dime by defrosting items or using canned items like beans, rice, pasta, and staples like eggs, cheeses, etc. With $50, you could add some really nice stuff to that.

My au pair doesn’t like our food and only wants to eat stuff that she buys and cooks, so I give her $50 a week for groceries. I’m not happy about it but it was the solution that we came up with.

If you are stocking the fridge as usual before you leave, nothing. If you are expecting her to grocery shop then depending on whether it’s staples (milk, etc), I would probably leave $50ish.

I don’t pay for meals out or AP to host her friends at my house. That is on her.

Give that amount of money so it wouldn't be humiliating to ask for Au pair.

Haha! What on earth!

Do you normally give her cash to spend on food as she wants? I don't see why you need to leave her money if you're only going to be gone for a week. Just grocery shop as usual before you leave, and ask if there's anything specific she wants (within reason, au pair trolls). Most perishables aren't going to go bad in a week, and she can live without the things that do. If she wants to go out to eat or order delivery, that's on her.

My thoughts exactly.

Do you normally give her cash to spend on food as she wants? I don't see why you need to leave her money if you're only going to be gone for a week. Just grocery shop as usual before you leave, and ask if there's anything specific she wants (within reason, au pair trolls). Most perishables aren't going to go bad in a week, and she can live without the things that do. If she wants to go out to eat or order delivery, that's on her.

Anonymous wrote:$30 is really cheap ! You wouldn't leave that to your teenagers if you went away I bet !

Eyeroll - I said buy her grocery list and then leave $30 for anything she forgot. And, yes, I would have my teenagers plan a menu, make a grocery list, shop with them and make sure they were prepared to cook for themselves for the week.

Anonymous wrote:https://www.cnpp.usda.gov/sites/default/files/CostofFoodJan2018.pdf

this breaks down how much the USDA thinks you should spend. $40 is considered very cheap for a young woman.

I thought this chart was very interesting as a guideline but sort of useless for the high cost DMV area. Unless I had a prior issue with the AP, I would err on the side of generosity and leave $100. She might be able to do with much less if she cooks at home and you have staples on hand. Build up a little goodwill and maybe she'll be nice in return?