SAHM, former nanny and former special needs teacher here.


I agree with others that yes she will favor her kid more. Someone asked me if I would babysit their child and I refused. I was upfront and told her it wouldn't be fair because one would get more attention vs. the other one. I would look elsewhere for a nanny/in home daycare.

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Anonymous wrote:I think this sounds like a great set up. My only hesitation would be not knowing her except "on paper." If you have not already, you need to call her references, not just accept letters, and google/facebook her. I would probably want a background check, like I would for a nanny, and a driving report. If she hasn't offered to do these, you can present it as for your own "peace of mind" if you're worried about coming across badly.

Also, make sure you address the rules if either child is sick, or the nanny is sick.

Op here: I spoke to two of her local references today. She works at a church nursery on the weekends and I spoke to the last nanny employer as well. Her job ended because the mom got laid off. She said they were really sad to let her go and they were hoping she would still be available when the mom finds a job. They all had excellent things to say about her. I have done a background check and driving check as well.

Then I think you are good to go! I would encourage both of you now to sit down as the "moms" (rather than as the mom + the nanny) and hammer out the details about things like illness policy, vacation time/guaranteed hours, who provides/pays for food, wear and tear on her house (i.e., should you expect to be on the hook to replace her carpet if your child vomits red jello all over it and it won't come out, or is that a cost of doing business as a childcare provider, or something in between?), regular meeting times to resolve any issues.

Anonymous wrote:I think this sounds like a great set up. My only hesitation would be not knowing her except "on paper." If you have not already, you need to call her references, not just accept letters, and google/facebook her. I would probably want a background check, like I would for a nanny, and a driving report. If she hasn't offered to do these, you can present it as for your own "peace of mind" if you're worried about coming across badly.

Also, make sure you address the rules if either child is sick, or the nanny is sick.

Op here: I spoke to two of her local references today. She works at a church nursery on the weekends and I spoke to the last nanny employer as well. Her job ended because the mom got laid off. She said they were really sad to let her go and they were hoping she would still be available when the mom finds a job. They all had excellent things to say about her. I have done a background check and driving check as well.

I also agree that this sounds like it has great potential. She is clearly qualified (on paper) and may want to do this to also provide socialization to her child so I don't think all the 'your child will be treated second best' accusations necessarily have merit. Definitely really check references and it wouldn't be a bad idea to have them at your house occasionally when you or your husband go in and out some to check on the environment. Good luck!

I think this sounds like a great set up. My only hesitation would be not knowing her except "on paper." If you have not already, you need to call her references, not just accept letters, and google/facebook her. I would probably want a background check, like I would for a nanny, and a driving report. If she hasn't offered to do these, you can present it as for your own "peace of mind" if you're worried about coming across badly.

Also, make sure you address the rules if either child is sick, or the nanny is sick.

I think a sahm would be an excellent choice. She would probably be more invested in your child's development. Nannies can be so distracted by their cell phones, boyfriend's, bills etc.

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Anonymous wrote:Basically the same questions you would ask any childcare provider: About CPR certification and house safety/childproofing (firearms) Ask what your DD's average day would look like.


Are you sure you want to do this, OP? The mother will always favor her own child. Your child will spend her day being second best.

I'd rather not hire a young nanny who is obsessed with her iPhone. There's a reason we're going this route now. I think both kids will benefit from socializing and I love that she has a masters in Montessori education. My daughter is super easy to take care of. I'm not sure how she would favor one over the other. They're not babies.

A SAHM and a young nanny obsessed with her iphone are not your only two choices for childcare, OP. And she is not telling you the truth if she said she has a "masters in Montessori education". Our nanny is older with an actual Masters in Early Childhood Development and never on her phone. And my DD is her one and only.

Here is the only truth - a mother will put her child first. If you are okay with you child coming in second, then go for it.

It's possible to have a master's in Montessori education. All Montessori teacher's must have a bachelor's degree and they go on to study Montessori education. You sound like a know it all.

Not PP but where do you get an accredited master's degree in Montessori education?

OP here: She's Canadian. Her degree is from Canada. Do I really need a nanny who has a Master’s? No, not really. Being a nanny is not what most people envisioned for themselves after slogging through 6 years of school.

Yes, actually - our nanny has a masters in ECD and being a nanny is what she wanted to be. She is great at it, too. She has many friends from her program who finished and simply did not like teaching in the "better" preschools and now much prefer nannying. Seems the nanny-world is changing.

You sound pretty smug pp.

You are the one assuming that no woman with an advanced degree would want to be a nanny. I simply set you straight. If that is "smug" in your book - so be it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basically the same questions you would ask any childcare provider: About CPR certification and house safety/childproofing (firearms) Ask what your DD's average day would look like.


Are you sure you want to do this, OP? The mother will always favor her own child. Your child will spend her day being second best.

I'd rather not hire a young nanny who is obsessed with her iPhone. There's a reason we're going this route now. I think both kids will benefit from socializing and I love that she has a masters in Montessori education. My daughter is super easy to take care of. I'm not sure how she would favor one over the other. They're not babies.

A SAHM and a young nanny obsessed with her iphone are not your only two choices for childcare, OP. And she is not telling you the truth if she said she has a "masters in Montessori education". Our nanny is older with an actual Masters in Early Childhood Development and never on her phone. And my DD is her one and only.

Here is the only truth - a mother will put her child first. If you are okay with you child coming in second, then go for it.

It's possible to have a master's in Montessori education. All Montessori teacher's must have a bachelor's degree and they go on to study Montessori education. You sound like a know it all.

Not PP but where do you get an accredited master's degree in Montessori education?

OP here: She's Canadian. Her degree is from Canada. Do I really need a nanny who has a Master’s? No, not really. Being a nanny is not what most people envisioned for themselves after slogging through 6 years of school.

Yes, actually - our nanny has a masters in ECD and being a nanny is what she wanted to be. She is great at it, too. She has many friends from her program who finished and simply did not like teaching in the "better" preschools and now much prefer nannying. Seems the nanny-world is changing.

You sound pretty smug pp.

If she’s watching your child from her home, she’s not a nanny. Not legally/traditionally speaking.

Home daycare.

Anonymous wrote:Has she done this before, OP - had another child in her home with she and her son? Make sure her apartment is child-proofed and she has the long CPR certification needed for in home care. I would ask her how and where she is going to take the children during the day as well. They can't stay coped up in her apartment all day.

Yes and we've already discussed story times, indoor playground memberships, outings etc. All the outings are about 1 mile drive from my office and her apartment. I asked her to occasionally take them to the beach. We live in Florida.

Anonymous wrote:Basically the same questions you would ask any childcare provider: About CPR certification and house safety/childproofing (firearms) Ask what your DD's average day would look like.


Are you sure you want to do this, OP? The mother will always favor her own child. Your child will spend her day being second best.

A good nanny will do her best not making any differences.
But in reality there are no ways to find out ...

Has she done this before, OP - had another child in her home with she and her son? Make sure her apartment is child-proofed and she has the long CPR certification needed for in home care. I would ask her how and where she is going to take the children during the day as well. They can't stay coped up in her apartment all day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basically the same questions you would ask any childcare provider: About CPR certification and house safety/childproofing (firearms) Ask what your DD's average day would look like.


Are you sure you want to do this, OP? The mother will always favor her own child. Your child will spend her day being second best.

I'd rather not hire a young nanny who is obsessed with her iPhone. There's a reason we're going this route now. I think both kids will benefit from socializing and I love that she has a masters in Montessori education. My daughter is super easy to take care of. I'm not sure how she would favor one over the other. They're not babies.

A SAHM and a young nanny obsessed with her iphone are not your only two choices for childcare, OP. And she is not telling you the truth if she said she has a "masters in Montessori education". Our nanny is older with an actual Masters in Early Childhood Development and never on her phone. And my DD is her one and only.

Here is the only truth - a mother will put her child first. If you are okay with you child coming in second, then go for it.

It's possible to have a master's in Montessori education. All Montessori teacher's must have a bachelor's degree and they go on to study Montessori education. You sound like a know it all.

Not PP but where do you get an accredited master's degree in Montessori education?

OP here: She's Canadian. Her degree is from Canada. Do I really need a nanny who has a Master’s? No, not really. Being a nanny is not what most people envisioned for themselves after slogging through 6 years of school.

Yes, actually - our nanny has a masters in ECD and being a nanny is what she wanted to be. She is great at it, too. She has many friends from her program who finished and simply did not like teaching in the "better" preschools and now much prefer nannying. Seems the nanny-world is changing.

I don't think she will favor her child over the charge. I mean yes, she is the mom but she is also a caregiver and I am sure she will love your child well and take care well. You can always back out if it doesn't work for yu

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the other PP - she will always put her child first. If that is okay with you, then do it.

Remember you have no way to see what - if anything - she is doing with your child since there will be no nanny cams. She could be on her phone the entire time while your kid and her kid cry in a play corral.

OP here: That's true. She's very anti tv and phones. They don't even have a TV at home and she doesn't give her son any screen time. I'm fine if she's on her phone sometimes. She is open to coming to my house. Her apartment is across the street from my work. I'm excited I can see my daughter on lunch breaks. I have a good feeling about this.