Our nanny takes 3 or 4 weeks off to return to her country in alternate years.

The year she leaves is really hard but the following year, she takes almost no vacation (she gets off when we are away plus random days). So, it's crazy one year but then awesome the next year when we don't have to cover any time.

It works for us because we are self employed -- but i understand why this doesn't work for others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:America first!! Right, pp? ?

When you employ a foreign nanny and you like her, you make it work with a temp.

Oh, stop the crap. You have a foreign nanny because she is cheaper. End of discussion.

[b]

Actually I am a foreign nanny (with a degree since apparently that's important in this thread) who is now a legal US citizen and I take a month of time off and my nanny family who has employed me for 5 years is perfectly happy to hire a temp.

Why hire a foreign nanny? Well I speak 5 languages. 3 fluent, 2 conversational. We are also more open minded apparently.

I am an American nanny who speaks three languages fluently. I have never taken more than one week off at a time. I fail to see how being inconvenienced makes the employer "open minded". That is all we are talking about, PP - the inconvenience of the month long nanny vacation.

We could NOT accommodate this at all. I work with foreign students as an English teacher and have a great affection for them, but this would be a deal breaker as an employer. If their employers allow this, they must understand this is a significant burden to the employers. It's not a trivial thing at all.

Reasons why it poses a problem from our perspective:

Foreign nannies choose to work here, presumably because the $$/benefits are better than in their home countries. So you should adapt to our norms as far as vacation time. It doesn't matter if other countries have different policies since you have chosen to live and work here. If you must take that long visit to your home country, it should be between jobs.

It is simply not normal for young parents to get three weeks of vacation together (possibly not all year in some cases), so this is a hardship. Some American employers frown upon their employees taking 2 weeks of vacation together, let alone 3 weeks. and for both parents to line up 3 weeks together would be like lightning striking. If both parents work, their vacation time together is important for family bonding. IF they have to split up to cover the nanny's vacation, you deprive them of this.

Not all families have grandparents ready and willing to swoop in and take over child care. (If they did, you might not have a job.) One time when we had a grandparent care for our kids, she did not have the energy and patience to deal with young children and it did not go well. She loved them of course but did not know their routine and was surprised that they weren't always perfectly behaved.

We had APs care for our children for more than 10 years. The APs were mostly great, but on the few occasions when there was an interruption in care, we had to rely on temporary nannies (mostly American, one foreign-born). They did not have the affection for our children, the knowledge of their daily routine, and in some cases, they were downright creepy. While I'm sure most permanent nannies are not like this or they wouldn't last long, you don't always get the best people when you are only hiring short-term. So hiring temporary nannies is risky and unpleasant for the family, especially the children.

Assuming the nanny's vacation is paid, the family has to pay the temporary agency and temporary nanny a good deal of money for the same weeks of child care. This a financial hardship for many families.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:America first!! Right, pp? ?

When you employ a foreign nanny and you like her, you make it work with a temp.

Oh, stop the crap. You have a foreign nanny because she is cheaper. End of discussion.

[b]

Actually I am a foreign nanny (with a degree since apparently that's important in this thread) who is now a legal US citizen and I take a month of time off and my nanny family who has employed me for 5 years is perfectly happy to hire a temp.

Why hire a foreign nanny? Well I speak 5 languages. 3 fluent, 2 conversational. We are also more open minded apparently.

Anonymous wrote:America first!! Right, pp? ?

When you employ a foreign nanny and you like her, you make it work with a temp.

Oh, stop the crap. You have a foreign nanny because she is cheaper. End of discussion.

Anonymous wrote:America first!! Right, pp? ?

When you employ a foreign nanny and you like her, you make it work with a temp.

Yes, if you don't want a nanny whose "home country" is on the other side of the world and she needs three weeks off in a row to get there, then yes - hire American. This is an American's home country. When our nanny's mother gets sick, she takes the train to Philly for the weekend. Or takes a week at Christmas when DH or I are off and goes to her in-laws in Virginia or to Hawaii for vacation FOR ONE WEEK like every other American worker.

Common sense, PP, common sense.

America first!! Right, pp? ?

When you employ a foreign nanny and you like her, you make it work with a temp.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Foreign nanny here- My bosses have been amazing accommodating my requests. I take two weeks paid vacation and then another two weeks unpaid vacation 6 Months later. I take 4 weeks vacation per year. This is normal in other countries, Americans are the only people who don't time time off. My employers knew this when they hired me.

In return I have (in 7 years with the same family) never called in sick (I don't get sick often but when I do the kids are sucks we we just have a chill day together), am never late, never ask for random days off, schedule my appts on my own time (or if I can't my employer lets me take the kids to a rare appt), do light housekeeping and tidying on days the housekeeper doesn't come, and go above and beyond in my job.

My employers use a temp agency and while I know it's inconvenient they understand that I like to travel and make it easy for me to leave.

I am the same as you, PP - never sick, never late, never ask for any days off and go above and beyond in my position. I also have a degree in ECE.

And I take two weeks of vacation - two separate weeks - both when my employers can take off easily.

Foreign nannies are a problem in regard to vacation - it is a cultural thing.

Foreign nanny here- The rest of the world had more than 2 weeks vacation per year. I have a degree as well (not sure why that's relevant to this discussion?!) and I'm not from a 3rd world country or 'illegal'. I'm upfront in interviews about my vacation needs and employers don't seem to have a problem with it. I agree it's unfair to just spring it on your employer. [b]This isn't a foreign nanny problem, this is an americans don't understand life/work balance problem.

What's the difference? American nannies understand American culture, problems with work/life balance and all. I agree with your that it's a problem here, but NFs have to exist in the American context.

And the major problem is that the NFs don't get that kind of vacation, so they can't also take off to spend that time with their kids.

In addition, the expense, distance, etc. means that these trips are usually taken all at once, which makes it harder to ask someone like a grandparent to help cover it, because who has 3-6 weeks off in a row?

And, I would also say, that there is no other country where you would get to choose the timing of your 3-6 week vacation, paid or not. If your NF takes August off, you would, too. That's one trade-off.

[b]

There is no other country where you can play your 3-6 week trip? Come on. You haven't travelled much have you? Just north of the border people get 4-6 weeks holiday. Europeans its normal to have 4-6 weeks. Australians take months at a time. You can't be serious.

Doesn't matter. OP's nanny is in the USA and in the USA we do not take month long vacations. End of discussion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Foreign nanny here- My bosses have been amazing accommodating my requests. I take two weeks paid vacation and then another two weeks unpaid vacation 6 Months later. I take 4 weeks vacation per year. This is normal in other countries, Americans are the only people who don't time time off. My employers knew this when they hired me.

In return I have (in 7 years with the same family) never called in sick (I don't get sick often but when I do the kids are sucks we we just have a chill day together), am never late, never ask for random days off, schedule my appts on my own time (or if I can't my employer lets me take the kids to a rare appt), do light housekeeping and tidying on days the housekeeper doesn't come, and go above and beyond in my job.

My employers use a temp agency and while I know it's inconvenient they understand that I like to travel and make it easy for me to leave.

I am the same as you, PP - never sick, never late, never ask for any days off and go above and beyond in my position. I also have a degree in ECE.

And I take two weeks of vacation - two separate weeks - both when my employers can take off easily.

Foreign nannies are a problem in regard to vacation - it is a cultural thing.

Foreign nanny here- The rest of the world had more than 2 weeks vacation per year. I have a degree as well (not sure why that's relevant to this discussion?!) and I'm not from a 3rd world country or 'illegal'. I'm upfront in interviews about my vacation needs and employers don't seem to have a problem with it. I agree it's unfair to just spring it on your employer. [b]This isn't a foreign nanny problem, this is an americans don't understand life/work balance problem.

What's the difference? American nannies understand American culture, problems with work/life balance and all. I agree with your that it's a problem here, but NFs have to exist in the American context.

And the major problem is that the NFs don't get that kind of vacation, so they can't also take off to spend that time with their kids.

In addition, the expense, distance, etc. means that these trips are usually taken all at once, which makes it harder to ask someone like a grandparent to help cover it, because who has 3-6 weeks off in a row?

And, I would also say, that there is no other country where you would get to choose the timing of your 3-6 week vacation, paid or not. If your NF takes August off, you would, too. That's one trade-off.

[b]

There is no other country where you can play your 3-6 week trip? Come on. You haven't travelled much have you? Just north of the border people get 4-6 weeks holiday. Europeans its normal to have 4-6 weeks. Australians take months at a time. You can't be serious.

We made it work OP. The easiest thing actually was the kids coping w/a temporary nanny. It was harder for me to adjust to someone new, learning new routines, training someone for a short time, adapting to different approaches, etc... And it was expensive. But the kids did great with it.

We used an agency (MetroParentRelief) which took significant stress out of the hiring part, and both parents and a family member covered a few days ourselves to mitigate the financial strain. It ended up being much easier than I expected and the agency nanny was fantastic in lots of ways.

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny wants to take a 3-week trip to her home country. She has been a blessing to us, and we want to accommodate her, but it will be a pretty big strain for us. I'm wondering what others have done -- it just seems like such a long time. If we get a temporary nanny, it seems like the baby (who will turn 1 right around the time of nanny's vacation) will have gotten into a groove with her by the time our beloved nanny returns. And, I really don't like the idea of introducing someone new to our 1-year-old, for just a couple of weeks.

We also have a 4-year-old and always strive for consistency with caregivers, which is my main problem with this arrangement.

So, I guess I know the answer is clear -- we need a temporary nanny.

But, how has your similarly-aged child done with a temporary caregiver? This would have been a total no-go with our oldest, who had a lot of stranger anxiety from ages 2 months and on (but ultimately outgrew it). But, her little brother is more chill and will go to other people, so it could work okay with him. Just looking for some advice.

Why did you agree to this, OP? Has this nanny been with you since your older child was born (so four years)?

We have an American nanny - this is her home country. So I have never had this issue. However, after four years, I would do what I could to allow our nanny to have a great vacation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Foreign nanny here- My bosses have been amazing accommodating my requests. I take two weeks paid vacation and then another two weeks unpaid vacation 6 Months later. I take 4 weeks vacation per year. This is normal in other countries, Americans are the only people who don't time time off. My employers knew this when they hired me.

In return I have (in 7 years with the same family) never called in sick (I don't get sick often but when I do the kids are sucks we we just have a chill day together), am never late, never ask for random days off, schedule my appts on my own time (or if I can't my employer lets me take the kids to a rare appt), do light housekeeping and tidying on days the housekeeper doesn't come, and go above and beyond in my job.

My employers use a temp agency and while I know it's inconvenient they understand that I like to travel and make it easy for me to leave.

I am the same as you, PP - never sick, never late, never ask for any days off and go above and beyond in my position. I also have a degree in ECE.

And I take two weeks of vacation - two separate weeks - both when my employers can take off easily.

Foreign nannies are a problem in regard to vacation - it is a cultural thing.

[b]

Foreign nanny here- The rest of the world had more than 2 weeks vacation per year. I have a degree as well (not sure why that's relevant to this discussion?!) and I'm not from a 3rd world country or 'illegal'. I'm upfront in interviews about my vacation needs and employers don't seem to have a problem with it. I agree it's unfair to just spring it on your employer. This isn't a foreign nanny problem, this is an americans don't understand life/work balance problem.

It is clearly a foreign nanny problem! Doesn't matter what understanding Americans have about the work/life balance - few, if any, employers get 4 weeks off in a year so their nannies cannot take 4 weeks off. You are lucky you found people to accommodate your vacation demands because they easily could have found an American nanny who was just as good and didn't have such demands.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Foreign nanny here- My bosses have been amazing accommodating my requests. I take two weeks paid vacation and then another two weeks unpaid vacation 6 Months later. I take 4 weeks vacation per year. This is normal in other countries, Americans are the only people who don't time time off. My employers knew this when they hired me.

In return I have (in 7 years with the same family) never called in sick (I don't get sick often but when I do the kids are sucks we we just have a chill day together), am never late, never ask for random days off, schedule my appts on my own time (or if I can't my employer lets me take the kids to a rare appt), do light housekeeping and tidying on days the housekeeper doesn't come, and go above and beyond in my job.

My employers use a temp agency and while I know it's inconvenient they understand that I like to travel and make it easy for me to leave.

I am the same as you, PP - never sick, never late, never ask for any days off and go above and beyond in my position. I also have a degree in ECE.

And I take two weeks of vacation - two separate weeks - both when my employers can take off easily.

Foreign nannies are a problem in regard to vacation - it is a cultural thing.

Foreign nanny here- The rest of the world had more than 2 weeks vacation per year. I have a degree as well (not sure why that's relevant to this discussion?!) and I'm not from a 3rd world country or 'illegal'. I'm upfront in interviews about my vacation needs and employers don't seem to have a problem with it. I agree it's unfair to just spring it on your employer. [b]This isn't a foreign nanny problem, this is an americans don't understand life/work balance problem.

What's the difference? American nannies understand American culture, problems with work/life balance and all. I agree with your that it's a problem here, but NFs have to exist in the American context.

And the major problem is that the NFs don't get that kind of vacation, so they can't also take off to spend that time with their kids.

In addition, the expense, distance, etc. means that these trips are usually taken all at once, which makes it harder to ask someone like a grandparent to help cover it, because who has 3-6 weeks off in a row?

And, I would also say, that there is no other country where you would get to choose the timing of your 3-6 week vacation, paid or not. If your NF takes August off, you would, too. That's one trade-off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Foreign nanny here- My bosses have been amazing accommodating my requests. I take two weeks paid vacation and then another two weeks unpaid vacation 6 Months later. I take 4 weeks vacation per year. This is normal in other countries, Americans are the only people who don't time time off. My employers knew this when they hired me.

In return I have (in 7 years with the same family) never called in sick (I don't get sick often but when I do the kids are sucks we we just have a chill day together), am never late, never ask for random days off, schedule my appts on my own time (or if I can't my employer lets me take the kids to a rare appt), do light housekeeping and tidying on days the housekeeper doesn't come, and go above and beyond in my job.

My employers use a temp agency and while I know it's inconvenient they understand that I like to travel and make it easy for me to leave.

I am the same as you, PP - never sick, never late, never ask for any days off and go above and beyond in my position. I also have a degree in ECE.

And I take two weeks of vacation - two separate weeks - both when my employers can take off easily.

Foreign nannies are a problem in regard to vacation - it is a cultural thing.

[b]

Foreign nanny here- The rest of the world had more than 2 weeks vacation per year. I have a degree as well (not sure why that's relevant to this discussion?!) and I'm not from a 3rd world country or 'illegal'. I'm upfront in interviews about my vacation needs and employers don't seem to have a problem with it. I agree it's unfair to just spring it on your employer. This isn't a foreign nanny problem, this is an americans don't understand life/work balance problem.

If you love your nanny and respect her very reasonable desire to have a decent stay in her home country, you work it out.

If you don't, you let her know this isn't something you can live with and fine someone new.

We don't have family so would use an agency for a temp. placement.

Our kids are 4 and had and still have very regular schedules and consistent routines. BUT I would expect them to adjust to new caregivers when it was necessary (so long as that person understood their schedule and kept to it). And they always did.

For what it's worth, they transitioned from a nanny to school easily and I think part of that was being used to letting new caring adults call the shots when necessary.