Our current AP works only about 20 hours per week and we've asked that she add unloading the dishwasher and reloading it each morning when she gets up to her duties and she was happy to oblige even though she has a kitchenette and rarely eats dinner with us. She knows she has a good deal with her schedule and this extra 30 minutes per day helps us so much. We won't ask her to do it on school breaks when she has the kids for a lot more hours.

Our AP does some housework: cleans up the playroom, tidies the kitchen once a week, does the kids laundry. But don't expect it to be the same quality as what you would do. Cleaning up our playroom, for instance, means that she picks stuff off the floor but shoves it into any nook and cranny, not where it actually should go. Putting laundry away means it's folded nicely but put into any available drawer, not sorted the way I do it, by pants, shirts, PJs, etc. Yes, we've talked about it but she seems incapable of doing it the way I want. You have to decide how big a deal to make of stuff like that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP is definitely not a HP. Sounds like a curious person who wants to check up on her friend’s or neighbor’s lifestyle.

16:39 here. My take exactly.

There are clueless new host families. As well as clueless APs. I know of at least one in my AP's cluster who rematched because she had to do too much housework, which all sounded perfectly fine (like the kid's laundry). That's more of a problem with matching initially where HF should have stated up front that the AP would need to do other housekeeping tasks, not strictly watching the kid. I'm pretty sure she thought she hit jackpot with a single school aged kid and was plotting all of the stuff she could do in the "free time" while they were at school, only to find out that she had stuff to do.

Anonymous wrote:The OP is definitely not a HP. Sounds like a curious person who wants to check up on her friend’s or neighbor’s lifestyle.

16:39 here. My take exactly.

The OP is definitely not a HP. Sounds like a curious person who wants to check up on her friend’s or neighbor’s lifestyle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not being snarky here, but did your LCC discuss any of this when she came for her first visit with you? Did you read the guidebook provided by the agency about what is allowed and not allowed? Sort of wondering how clear the agency is about this information. Seems like it should be cristal clear from the get go, but obviously it isn't for some.

It actually IS this clear in the contracts for all agencies, which is why there is very little chance that this post is actually from a real HF.

I posted this, and I feel this way with my agency.

Only once did I find things to be ambiguous with meals. We have to write a contract each year, which is signed by both parties. We wrote in the responsibilities that AP is responsible for one family dinner per week (everyone in our home is in charge of one dinner per week, even the kids- MS/HS). The agency made us change that because technically AP is not supposed to make food for the parents. I thought that part was BS, so we took it out of the contract, but we agreed in spirit that this is how we want to spend our share our 'family time' with AP. I find APs who like to cook and eat with family for that reason. And I schedule their extra hours over dinner just to eat with us.

Anonymous wrote:Not being snarky here, but did your LCC discuss any of this when she came for her first visit with you? Did you read the guidebook provided by the agency about what is allowed and not allowed? Sort of wondering how clear the agency is about this information. Seems like it should be cristal clear from the get go, but obviously it isn't for some.

It actually IS this clear in the contracts for all agencies, which is why there is very little chance that this post is actually from a real HF.

Also doesn't help when we know LC is aware of APs taking side gigs and does nothing about them. Hypocritical.

And your AP is over at our house, complaining about what kind of food you eat, or how she doesn't agree with how you are raising your kids. They are all comparing and complaining, even the nice and smart ones, because the experience of living and working under one roof is that intense.

Exactly my point. I wasn't saying my AP doesn't complain. Of course she does. But, why give them more things to complain about like blatantly breaking rules clearly outlined BEFORE one decides to enter the AP program. If you need more than 45 hours of childcare, a maid, and a dog sitter, than organize this. Don't set up side gigs with your AP who is already, as you said, "living and working under one roof is that intense".

Anonymous wrote:Our AP has local APs over all the time to hang-out. Believe me, this is the stuff they all sit around complaining about. So, while you think you and your AP have this perfect relationship and happy mutually beneficial agreement of a "side gig" for her do do your laundry, walk you dog, and take your car into for service for extra cash, your AP is actually over at my house telling all the APs how tough her job is and how her HF expects so much, should she rematch, tell LCC, call the agency,etc. I think we have a fabulous AP this year and her AP friends seem nice and smart, but believe me when I tell you, THIS IS WHAT THEY TALK ABOUT ALL DAY!

And your AP is over at our house, complaining about what kind of food you eat, or how she doesn't agree with how you are raising your kids. They are all comparing and complaining, even the nice and smart ones, because the experience of living and working under one roof is that intense.

Not being snarky here, but did your LCC discuss any of this when she came for her first visit with you? Did you read the guidebook provided by the agency about what is allowed and not allowed? Sort of wondering how clear the agency is about this information. Seems like it should be cristal clear from the get go, but obviously it isn't for some.

I thought the same. All of this is listed word for word in APIA handbook. I really wish everyone would just follow the rules or find another childcare/house management solution.

Not being snarky here, but did your LCC discuss any of this when she came for her first visit with you? Did you read the guidebook provided by the agency about what is allowed and not allowed? Sort of wondering how clear the agency is about this information. Seems like it should be cristal clear from the get go, but obviously it isn't for some.

Our AP has local APs over all the time to hang-out. Believe me, this is the stuff they all sit around complaining about. So, while you think you and your AP have this perfect relationship and happy mutually beneficial agreement of a "side gig" for her do do your laundry, walk you dog, and take your car into for service for extra cash, your AP is actually over at my house telling all the APs how tough her job is and how her HF expects so much, should she rematch, tell LCC, call the agency,etc. I think we have a fabulous AP this year and her AP friends seem nice and smart, but believe me when I tell you, THIS IS WHAT THEY TALK ABOUT ALL DAY!