Anonymous
09/01/2017 12:29
Subject: Attn: MBs
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you were taking care of a single kid, I'd totally let you bring your own baby, but I would have a long talk with you about the difficulty of working while your own baby is right there (I know I can't do it with my work...!) and then I would look out for performance issues.
However, if I had two kids, and you wanted to bring your own to make three, I would be less comfortable with that. It would depend on the ages of all the kids, and all kinds of other variables.
As for maternity leave, I'd be happy to provide one month paid and up to and additional six months unpaid. (My own work only allows up to four months but I think that's too short.) I'd ask for your help finding someone to cover.
That's awesome! I couldn't afford that much. I would hold the job for up to 6 months, but I can't afford to pay two nannies a full wage for a month. Would you expect her to work for you for a certain amount of time before you'd offer that benefit?
You cannot afford to give one month's paid maternity leave but you think your employer should give you six months paid maternity leave!
She didn't say her leave was paid. Most people's isn't. That's just the length of time they will hold your job for you.
Anonymous
09/01/2017 12:20
Subject: Attn: MBs
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you were taking care of a single kid, I'd totally let you bring your own baby, but I would have a long talk with you about the difficulty of working while your own baby is right there (I know I can't do it with my work...!) and then I would look out for performance issues.
However, if I had two kids, and you wanted to bring your own to make three, I would be less comfortable with that. It would depend on the ages of all the kids, and all kinds of other variables.
As for maternity leave, I'd be happy to provide one month paid and up to and additional six months unpaid. (My own work only allows up to four months but I think that's too short.) I'd ask for your help finding someone to cover.
That's awesome! I couldn't afford that much. I would hold the job for up to 6 months, but I can't afford to pay two nannies a full wage for a month. Would you expect her to work for you for a certain amount of time before you'd offer that benefit?
You cannot afford to give one month's paid maternity leave but you think your employer should give you six months paid maternity leave!
Anonymous
09/01/2017 11:54
Subject: Attn: MBs
Does everyone repping day care here on the grounds that the nanny will be distracted by her own child screen their day care providers to make sure the staff are not allowed to enroll their own kids at the center?
Anonymous
09/01/2017 11:11
Subject: Re:Attn: MBs
Reason #17 to hire an older nanny.
Honestly, this is a situation I will never have with our beloved nanny.
I empathize with your position, OP - I do. But we would not have survived as a species if a mother did not favor her child over all others. Your care and teaching of my twins would change as would your devotion to them.
The suggestion to find a job in a daycare is a good one. It's good to have teaching experience on your resume and a good daycare center, like a Bright Horizons, would offer further training for you. And you would be able to enroll your own child. Or if your partner/husband earns enough, this would be a great time to go back to school and take a few classes in Childhood Development while you are in your last few months or pregnancy and when your baby is an infant.
Honestly, this is a situation I will never have with our beloved nanny.
I empathize with your position, OP - I do. But we would not have survived as a species if a mother did not favor her child over all others. Your care and teaching of my twins would change as would your devotion to them.
The suggestion to find a job in a daycare is a good one. It's good to have teaching experience on your resume and a good daycare center, like a Bright Horizons, would offer further training for you. And you would be able to enroll your own child. Or if your partner/husband earns enough, this would be a great time to go back to school and take a few classes in Childhood Development while you are in your last few months or pregnancy and when your baby is an infant.
Anonymous
09/01/2017 10:29
Subject: Attn: MBs
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you were taking care of a single kid, I'd totally let you bring your own baby, but I would have a long talk with you about the difficulty of working while your own baby is right there (I know I can't do it with my work...!) and then I would look out for performance issues.
However, if I had two kids, and you wanted to bring your own to make three, I would be less comfortable with that. It would depend on the ages of all the kids, and all kinds of other variables.
As for maternity leave, I'd be happy to provide one month paid and up to and additional six months unpaid. (My own work only allows up to four months but I think that's too short.) I'd ask for your help finding someone to cover.
Curious, how easy to think it would be to find someone who wants a short term job like 6 months? Would have any concerns that after 6 months, your child may have bonded with the new temporary nanny, or that you might the new temporary nanny is an even better fit for your family that your original nanny? How would you handle that? Would you rescind your offer to hold the job for your original nanny--or would you make your child say goodbye to the temp nanny...and take back the original nanny who will now be dividing her attention between your child and her own?
Not the PP you highlighted. These are all concerns. I lost a terrific temp nanny once when my full time nanny came back after three months, stayed for a month, and then quit. That was when I decided I would never again hold a job for someone who hadn't worked for me for at least a year.
I would hope that by the six month mark, the original nanny would let us know if she wasn't returning so I could hire temp nanny. Since I couldn't afford paid maternity leave, there would really be no incentive for her to not let us know. If the temp nanny was a lot better than the original nanny, like, I didn't realize how bad original nanny was better, I'd give her some severance and let her go for those reasons. Otherwise, I'd just make an attempt to keep in touch with original nanny during her leave and have DC spend some time with her, so the transition back wouldn't be sudden.
Anonymous
09/01/2017 10:14
Subject: Attn: MBs
Anonymous wrote:If you were taking care of a single kid, I'd totally let you bring your own baby, but I would have a long talk with you about the difficulty of working while your own baby is right there (I know I can't do it with my work...!) and then I would look out for performance issues.
However, if I had two kids, and you wanted to bring your own to make three, I would be less comfortable with that. It would depend on the ages of all the kids, and all kinds of other variables.
As for maternity leave, I'd be happy to provide one month paid and up to and additional six months unpaid. (My own work only allows up to four months but I think that's too short.) I'd ask for your help finding someone to cover.
Curious, how easy to think it would be to find someone who wants a short term job like 6 months? Would have any concerns that after 6 months, your child may have bonded with the new temporary nanny, or that you might the new temporary nanny is an even better fit for your family that your original nanny? How would you handle that? Would you rescind your offer to hold the job for your original nanny--or would you make your child say goodbye to the temp nanny...and take back the original nanny who will now be dividing her attention between your child and her own?
Anonymous
09/01/2017 09:42
Subject: Attn: MBs
Anonymous wrote:If you were taking care of a single kid, I'd totally let you bring your own baby, but I would have a long talk with you about the difficulty of working while your own baby is right there (I know I can't do it with my work...!) and then I would look out for performance issues.
However, if I had two kids, and you wanted to bring your own to make three, I would be less comfortable with that. It would depend on the ages of all the kids, and all kinds of other variables.
As for maternity leave, I'd be happy to provide one month paid and up to and additional six months unpaid. (My own work only allows up to four months but I think that's too short.) I'd ask for your help finding someone to cover.
That's awesome! I couldn't afford that much. I would hold the job for up to 6 months, but I can't afford to pay two nannies a full wage for a month. Would you expect her to work for you for a certain amount of time before you'd offer that benefit?
Anonymous
08/31/2017 22:50
Subject: Re:Attn: MBs
No, I would not want a nanny to bring her newborn to work. I would not want a nanny to bring any child to work.
And never, ever, tell any employer in any job in any field that you are trying to conceive.
And never, ever, tell any employer in any job in any field that you are trying to conceive.
Anonymous
08/31/2017 21:30
Subject: Attn: MBs
If you were taking care of a single kid, I'd totally let you bring your own baby, but I would have a long talk with you about the difficulty of working while your own baby is right there (I know I can't do it with my work...!) and then I would look out for performance issues.
However, if I had two kids, and you wanted to bring your own to make three, I would be less comfortable with that. It would depend on the ages of all the kids, and all kinds of other variables.
As for maternity leave, I'd be happy to provide one month paid and up to and additional six months unpaid. (My own work only allows up to four months but I think that's too short.) I'd ask for your help finding someone to cover.
However, if I had two kids, and you wanted to bring your own to make three, I would be less comfortable with that. It would depend on the ages of all the kids, and all kinds of other variables.
As for maternity leave, I'd be happy to provide one month paid and up to and additional six months unpaid. (My own work only allows up to four months but I think that's too short.) I'd ask for your help finding someone to cover.
Anonymous
08/31/2017 21:29
Subject: Attn: MBs
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What's the difference?Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go out on a limb here and make the unPC assumption that most of the posters on this thread are women. So basically women who employ other women to care for their children are saying they would no longer continue to do so if that woman became a mother. Wrap your head around that one. If we are the meek who shall inherit the world maybe we should stick together a little bit.
Actually, very few people said that. What they said is that they wouldn't let her bring her baby to work, and that she should consider whether this is a job she wants to keep with her own child.
I also agree not to tell until 2nd trimester, by which time you will have been with this family for almost three years at the very least. I'm sure they will be willing to work with you for time off and such, but beyond that (bringing your child, paid maternity leave), you'll just have to ask and see.
No one in penalizing her for becoming a mother. Name another job that lets you bring your child to work.
A nanny needs to get child care for her kids if she wants to continue to work if the employer says no to allowing them to bring their child. I would not agree to allow a nanny to bring their child. It basically becomes a share and nanny should take less money.
Anonymous
08/31/2017 21:24
Subject: Attn: MBs
They'd work it out. Infants are going to sleep a ton anyway.
Anonymous
08/31/2017 20:07
Subject: Attn: MBs
Anonymous wrote:I'll tell you what happened for us. Nanny of about 6 months. She brought her child (about 3 mos older than ours) from the start--ours was 8 mos at the time. The kids had a great time together and she was more than competent to care for both of them.
She told us when she was planning another child because ahe needed some schedule adjustments for fertility treatment. Worked for us until she was due. We are still pretty close with her and her partner and we love their kids.
I don't know what's up with all these people saying they'd fire you on the spot if you said you were pregnant or would be unwiling to let you bring your child to work (after some reasonable maternity leave). They sound like incredible narcissists. If your boss is an incredible narcissist, follow their advice.
I personally would not tell until necessary, but I'm more private anyway. YMMV.
Your kids were roughly the same age. She'd be caring for 3-year-old twins while being a first-time-mom to an infant. It might not work as well.
Anonymous
08/31/2017 20:03
Subject: Attn: MBs
I'll tell you what happened for us. Nanny of about 6 months. She brought her child (about 3 mos older than ours) from the start--ours was 8 mos at the time. The kids had a great time together and she was more than competent to care for both of them.
She told us when she was planning another child because ahe needed some schedule adjustments for fertility treatment. Worked for us until she was due. We are still pretty close with her and her partner and we love their kids.
I don't know what's up with all these people saying they'd fire you on the spot if you said you were pregnant or would be unwiling to let you bring your child to work (after some reasonable maternity leave). They sound like incredible narcissists. If your boss is an incredible narcissist, follow their advice.
I personally would not tell until necessary, but I'm more private anyway. YMMV.
She told us when she was planning another child because ahe needed some schedule adjustments for fertility treatment. Worked for us until she was due. We are still pretty close with her and her partner and we love their kids.
I don't know what's up with all these people saying they'd fire you on the spot if you said you were pregnant or would be unwiling to let you bring your child to work (after some reasonable maternity leave). They sound like incredible narcissists. If your boss is an incredible narcissist, follow their advice.
I personally would not tell until necessary, but I'm more private anyway. YMMV.
Anonymous
08/31/2017 19:52
Subject: Attn: MBs
Ithink you are misunderstanding what I"m saying. You are not personally penalizing your nanny for becoming a mother. I understand that you are not a corporation with large holdings and an HR department. It's the system in this country that considers early child care for working PARENTS not worth investment. What I'm saying to you is that why do you deserve better care for your child when you go to work than your nanny does when she goes to work?Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What's the difference?Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go out on a limb here and make the unPC assumption that most of the posters on this thread are women. So basically women who employ other women to care for their children are saying they would no longer continue to do so if that woman became a mother. Wrap your head around that one. If we are the meek who shall inherit the world maybe we should stick together a little bit.
Actually, very few people said that. What they said is that they wouldn't let her bring her baby to work, and that she should consider whether this is a job she wants to keep with her own child.
I also agree not to tell until 2nd trimester, by which time you will have been with this family for almost three years at the very least. I'm sure they will be willing to work with you for time off and such, but beyond that (bringing your child, paid maternity leave), you'll just have to ask and see.
No one in penalizing her for becoming a mother. Name another job that lets you bring your child to work.
Anonymous
08/31/2017 19:18
Subject: Attn: MBs
Anonymous wrote:What's the difference?Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go out on a limb here and make the unPC assumption that most of the posters on this thread are women. So basically women who employ other women to care for their children are saying they would no longer continue to do so if that woman became a mother. Wrap your head around that one. If we are the meek who shall inherit the world maybe we should stick together a little bit.
Actually, very few people said that. What they said is that they wouldn't let her bring her baby to work, and that she should consider whether this is a job she wants to keep with her own child.
I also agree not to tell until 2nd trimester, by which time you will have been with this family for almost three years at the very least. I'm sure they will be willing to work with you for time off and such, but beyond that (bringing your child, paid maternity leave), you'll just have to ask and see.
No one in penalizing her for becoming a mother. Name another job that lets you bring your child to work.