Anonymous wrote:She may be trying to do what is best for your child despite your efforts otherwise and nanny just wants to protect your feelings. Let your kid go and live and explore and grow up normal please. Give nanny and bonus to say sorry and let her do her job.

1) If the nanny can’t work within the parents’ rules the nanny should quit, not lie.
2) The kid is 7months old

Anonymous wrote:Fired

+1. Totally unacceptable. I would be furious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a young nanny doesn't mean your liar or not responsible I was a young nanny. I wouldn't bother questioning nanny regarding this just start looking for a new nanny once you cant trust a nanny and with your child being so young you should find a nanny you can trust and will follow your rules.

A. This happened almost a year ago.

B. Younger people are more likely to be impulsive and less likely to think things through. However, it can also happen with older nannies.

I did stuff like this in my early 20s.

Anonymous wrote:Being a young nanny doesn't mean your liar or not responsible I was a young nanny. I wouldn't bother questioning nanny regarding this just start looking for a new nanny once you cant trust a nanny and with your child being so young you should find a nanny you can trust and will follow your rules.

A. This happened almost a year ago.

B. Younger people are more likely to be impulsive and less likely to think things through. However, it can also happen with older nannies.

Being a young nanny doesn't mean your liar or not responsible I was a young nanny. I wouldn't bother questioning nanny regarding this just start looking for a new nanny once you cant trust a nanny and with your child being so young you should find a nanny you can trust and will follow your rules.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may be trying to do what is best for your child despite your efforts otherwise and nanny just wants to protect your feelings. Let your kid go and live and explore and grow up normal please. Give nanny and bonus to say sorry and let her do her job.

That is patently ridiculous.

A nanny's job is to care for a child in the manner in which the employers instruct.

A nanny who lies about where the child is, and/or one who intentionally flouts the parents' explicit direction (as you're advising) should be fired.

A nanny's JOB is to do what is best for the child, as you can see in certain cases that would include calling CPS on a bad parent, etc. A nanny's JOB is not to blindly follow parents instructions.

You are giving the most extreme case. In this instance, the nanny was told NOT to take the child to any unapproved home by her employers. She did not follow the instructions and should be called out for it the first time and fired if it happens again. If you, as a nanny, feel the employer's rules are wrong then you quit.

And the child needs to get out of their own home, explore the world, and meet new friends. I am with the nanny here, I have dealt with parents like that before and their kids always grow up messed up.

An infant doesn't need to make friends... Children don't start parallel playing until much later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may be trying to do what is best for your child despite your efforts otherwise and nanny just wants to protect your feelings. Let your kid go and live and explore and grow up normal please. Give nanny and bonus to say sorry and let her do her job.

That is patently ridiculous.

A nanny's job is to care for a child in the manner in which the employers instruct.

A nanny who lies about where the child is, and/or one who intentionally flouts the parents' explicit direction (as you're advising) should be fired.

A nanny's JOB is to do what is best for the child, as you can see in certain cases that would include calling CPS on a bad parent, etc. A nanny's JOB is not to blindly follow parents instructions.

I agree.

However, it's not necessary to take a child to someone else's house, especially when you can meet them elsewhere or have them over.

Nor is it EVER acceptable to lie to a parent about where their child is or was.

Fired.

She clearly lied, and it is probably the tip of the iceberg. I had a nanny who I thought was just lying to me about her personal life (which was none of my business anyway), but later I found out she was lying about my child's whereabouts and driving her son to work every day. I know it is painful, but I would start to think about looking for someone else. Otherwise, I would confront her about it so that she knows all kinds of people are looking over her shoulder and will be less likely to do it again.

We demand the addresses and parent emails of all house playdates. We also have little cards with ours on it for our nanny to hand off to her nanny friend to give to that kids' parents.
We also often email and invite the family over for breakfast or brunch on the weekends!

So net/net, playdates at homes are normal for nannies to do, trust her judgement. and make sure they BOTH watch the kids, or else you'll end up with nanny hot lunch party in the kitchen and pay room destruction around the corner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may be trying to do what is best for your child despite your efforts otherwise and nanny just wants to protect your feelings. Let your kid go and live and explore and grow up normal please. Give nanny and bonus to say sorry and let her do her job.

That is patently ridiculous.

A nanny's job is to care for a child in the manner in which the employers instruct.

A nanny who lies about where the child is, and/or one who intentionally flouts the parents' explicit direction (as you're advising) should be fired.

A nanny's JOB is to do what is best for the child, as you can see in certain cases that would include calling CPS on a bad parent, etc. A nanny's JOB is not to blindly follow parents instructions.

I would suspect that most nannies would be fired in that instance as well. I can't imagine many employers continue to keep a nanny after she called CPS.

I think the Nanny is wrong for lying to you but I probably would have lied too. Its not reasonable to not allow your Nanny to go to friends houses for playdates.
It is normal with playdates to trade off each others houses, Its hot right now, maybe they didnt want to go to the park.

You are almost setting a Nanny up to fail having rules like this. You have to trust your nanny to do the best thing for your child, if you cant then maybe a Nanny isnt for you.

Why don't you ask to meet the friend sometime?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may be trying to do what is best for your child despite your efforts otherwise and nanny just wants to protect your feelings. Let your kid go and live and explore and grow up normal please. Give nanny and bonus to say sorry and let her do her job.

That is patently ridiculous.

A nanny's job is to care for a child in the manner in which the employers instruct.

A nanny who lies about where the child is, and/or one who intentionally flouts the parents' explicit direction (as you're advising) should be fired.

A nanny's JOB is to do what is best for the child, as you can see in certain cases that would include calling CPS on a bad parent, etc. A nanny's JOB is not to blindly follow parents instructions.

You are giving the most extreme case. In this instance, the nanny was told NOT to take the child to any unapproved home by her employers. She did not follow the instructions and should be called out for it the first time and fired if it happens again. If you, as a nanny, feel the employer's rules are wrong then you quit.

And the child needs to get out of their own home, explore the world, and meet new friends. I am with the nanny here, I have dealt with parents like that before and their kids always grow up messed up.

Doesn't matter what you or the nanny thinks. Parents make the rules and a nanny must follow them or quit. I am a nanny, btw.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may be trying to do what is best for your child despite your efforts otherwise and nanny just wants to protect your feelings. Let your kid go and live and explore and grow up normal please. Give nanny and bonus to say sorry and let her do her job.

That is patently ridiculous.

A nanny's job is to care for a child in the manner in which the employers instruct.

A nanny who lies about where the child is, and/or one who intentionally flouts the parents' explicit direction (as you're advising) should be fired.

A nanny's JOB is to do what is best for the child, as you can see in certain cases that would include calling CPS on a bad parent, etc. A nanny's JOB is not to blindly follow parents instructions.

You are giving the most extreme case. In this instance, the nanny was told NOT to take the child to any unapproved home by her employers. She did not follow the instructions and should be called out for it the first time and fired if it happens again. If you, as a nanny, feel the employer's rules are wrong then you quit.

And the child needs to get out of their own home, explore the world, and meet new friends. I am with the nanny here, I have dealt with parents like that before and their kids always grow up messed up.

OP, if you believe your nanny lied to you, why are you asking advice from an anonymous chatroom?! If she lied, then you fire her on the spot! This is what employers do when an employee lies.