If you never had previous issues with this nanny why is your first action to jump to the negative?


Just let it go. Put your kid in daycare, and if the nanny pulled one over on you trust that karma will get her.

Good lord, OP, it isn't that much money! Just let it go.

I'm the one who said to post on a listserv. I specifically said not to give the specifics. Just post asking if anyone hired Nanny X. You're not going to get sued over factually explaining what happened to her new employer. More importantly, it would confirm for you that she really was ghosting you/had taken a new position/etc.

Nanny here... it is sad that it happened. Sorry about that. It's never good if the kids can't say bye to a nanny.
But guess what? There are families who pay you at the end of the week, and then the following day will text you that you're fired. No notice, no severance...happened to me before. Wasn't happy about not being able to say bye to the kids.

Op I'm so sorry this happened to you. I miss my nanny kids when it's a long weekend, I could never imagine just leaving and not saying goodbye. I've been with my current family 8 years so of course it's different but I can't believe the nanny would leave like that. There are good nannies out there and I hope you find yourself in a much better situation.

OP again. No further communication from [former] Nanny.

As commented earlier, bouncing a check issued in payment for services ALREADY performed != canceling/retracting a payment for services NOT actually performed. And apparently banks have specific procedures for the latter.

I am on several neighborhood listservs. While flaming [former] Nanny on them might yield a grain of emotional satisfaction, I do not plan to do so, in part because such a post could apparently be considered defamation. A friend who worked in HR for decades says it's not uncommon for former employees to sue based on negative job references. Apparently this is really A Thing and many organizations give a reference that consists only of "Person X worked for Organization from Date 1 to Date 2" to minimize liability. As a parent and nanny employer, I would certainly want to know if a nanny I was considering hiring had ever disappeared on a previous family; however, it seems that a public warning could have legal consequences.

An angry post would also not solve the problem of how to explain the sudden disappearance of a previously beloved caretaker to my toddler. DS can't pronounce [former] Nanny's name, but he's clearly looking for her every time someone knocks on our door, and I'm not sure how to communicate the finality of her disappearance to him.

^ things, not thugs - ha!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP. As the other Pp said try taking all money out from your account so it will not go thru.

If you gave me a check that bounced, and I will take it to.police. She can stop payment but I would not have a bounced check. Stupid advice.

Would you call your former employers and tell them you got paid money you were not owed, and you were taking it?

Before you ask, yes, I did this with an $800 check from my former employers (not a nanny) that was accidentally added to my pay. Because I am aware that taking money I am not owed, and that was sent to me by accident, is stealing.

So sure, call the police.

Bouncing a check is a very bad thing to do. It goes on your credit rating. If it is over a certain amount it is a felony. So, yes, I will take that check to police. If you do not want to pay for work not performed, then you stop payment on check but only fools, crooks, and idiots bounce checks.

Did you read the part about how the bank said it was too late? No? Yeah, making things up and ignoring facts is so much more fun, isn't it? Eye roll.

Do you know how banks/checks work? It doesn't seem so. Insert my comment from above about making thugs up.

Bouncing a check when the work was never performed is unequivocally NOT a felony. Says a former prosecutor (me).

Summary: stop talking/advising about things of which you know nothing. It's annoying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP. As the other Pp said try taking all money out from your account so it will not go thru.

If you gave me a check that bounced, and I will take it to.police. She can stop payment but I would not have a bounced check. Stupid advice.

Would you call your former employers and tell them you got paid money you were not owed, and you were taking it?

Before you ask, yes, I did this with an $800 check from my former employers (not a nanny) that was accidentally added to my pay. Because I am aware that taking money I am not owed, and that was sent to me by accident, is stealing.

So sure, call the police.

Bouncing a check is a very bad thing to do. It goes on your credit rating. If it is over a certain amount it is a felony. So, yes, I will take that check to police. If you do not want to pay for work not performed, then you stop payment on check but only fools, crooks, and idiots bounce checks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. I'm confused why you paid her in advance?
I get paid on the last day of my work week, or sometimes that same day. So I'm just curious

I think OP did it because the other family in the nanny share was leaving.

If you're paying someone by direct deposit and their account is at another bank, you need to initiate the transfer ~3 days pre-them receiving it. So, if you pay your nanny in "real time" (i.e., so they get paid for Week X on Friday of Week X), you might need to initiate the transfer by Tuesday, depending on your bank.

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. I'm confused why you paid her in advance?
I get paid on the last day of my work week, or sometimes that same day. So I'm just curious

I think OP did it because the other family in the nanny share was leaving.

Nanny here. I'm confused why you paid her in advance?
I get paid on the last day of my work week, or sometimes that same day. So I'm just curious

^^ If you are somewhere that has a MOTH-like email list, I would use the same approach.

OP are you on the Hill? If so, I would 100% post the name on MOTH to (a) see if another family hired her/to provide a warning of the sort of person she is (I would definitely want to know if I were her new family) and (b) she will probably come up w/ some BS excuse for not contacting you earlier and/or pay you the money back. You don't have to provide details in the MOTH post, just ask if anyone has hired Nanny X, Y, Z and, if so, to be in touch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP. As the other Pp said try taking all money out from your account so it will not go thru.

If you gave me a check that bounced, and I will take it to.police. She can stop payment but I would not have a bounced check. Stupid advice.

This.

The "This" has to be whoever posted this message initially, because it literally does not make grammatical sense. Like, I get that the poster was trying to equate it to a bounced check (which it's not, because it's only been pre-paid for technical reasons), but it doesn't even say that.