Anonymous wrote:In all honesty, I am truly shocked that the majority of responses here are to say no to a FaceTime session w/their charge.

Just because they have the time off & are not being paid.

WTF....??!

A Nanny is not a corporate job.
You have an actual BOND w/who you work with every single day (your charge!) + this bond doesn't just end when you walk out the front door.

Children are special creatures and many of them do not see their Nanny as being a paid employee but rather someone who comes over to play w/them every day since they are so much fun to be with!

Yes, Dear, children do not see the nanny as a paid employee with a life away from him/her but YOU SHOULD. For God's sake, you are not a child and can certainly understand (if you really try) that the nanny just spent 40 or 50 hours with your child and wants time with her own family and friends! Or just some quiet time to herself.

Be a parent and tell your child that he'll see nanny on Monday and she will talk to him then.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really surprised by all of the nannies who think that a one time request like this is unreasonable. OP -- Do you know why the charge wanted to FaceTime you?

My kid really wanted to tell my nanny something over a weekend. (It had to do with a backyard "project" they'd worked on together.) I texted my nanny to ask if it would be OK if kid FaceTimed her for 2 minutes. She immediately FaceTimed us. Kid blurted out the info, nanny indicated her excitement (probably partially feigned, but I think she was excited that kid was so excited) and they talked for maybe 90 seconds? I then shot her a text saying "Sorry for bothering you, kid was just so excited to tell you about it!" It never occurred to me that she might really resent this -- and I sincerely hope she doesn't. She occasionally texts me over the weekend with questions/requests and I certainly don't resent it. I interact with her/am respectful of her time just like I would be with a colleague or with my boss, which I would have thought was a reasonable standard?

Your nanny more than likely thinks you are weird and don't respect her boundaries. You can think what you like but she will say it's fine and smile while thinking you are crazy and intrusive because you are her boss. You should've told your child to wait. What is wrong with some of you parents? Can you all not tell your kids no or not right now!? My God your kid can't get through a weekend without telling your nanny something and lean on you?

My kid is 2.5. Yes, I absolutely could have told her to wait, but she was really excited and it was something that wouldn't have lasted until Monday, so nanny couldn't have seen it otherwise. (She obviously doesn't actually realize that the nanny is our family's employee as opposed to part of our family and, at 2.5, I think that's a good thing, so other than asking her to wait for its own sake, I don't think there's any useful lesson for her here.) In any case, I raised this issue with our nanny last night and she looked at me like I had two heads. She assumed I was trying to tactfully tell her not to text us over the weekend and started to apologize for intruding on our time. I hastily assured her that was not at all the case and explained the background. She said she was happy to hear from us when special things happened over the weekend and that, just as I am occasionally sad when I miss my daughter's firsts (however minor they might be), she's also sad when she misses those things and certainly wants to see/hear about them ASAP. So, MBs, if you have a relationship w/ your nannies where you are surprised at what's in this thread... trust your guts.

In all honesty, I am truly shocked that the majority of responses here are to say no to a FaceTime session w/their charge.

Just because they have the time off & are not being paid.

WTF....??!

A Nanny is not a corporate job.
You have an actual BOND w/who you work with every single day (your charge!) + this bond doesn't just end when you walk out the front door.

Children are special creatures and many of them do not see their Nanny as being a paid employee but rather someone who comes over to play w/them every day since they are so much fun to be with!

Anonymous wrote:I'm really surprised by all of the nannies who think that a one time request like this is unreasonable. OP -- Do you know why the charge wanted to FaceTime you?

My kid really wanted to tell my nanny something over a weekend. (It had to do with a backyard "project" they'd worked on together.) I texted my nanny to ask if it would be OK if kid FaceTimed her for 2 minutes. She immediately FaceTimed us. Kid blurted out the info, nanny indicated her excitement (probably partially feigned, but I think she was excited that kid was so excited) and they talked for maybe 90 seconds? I then shot her a text saying "Sorry for bothering you, kid was just so excited to tell you about it!" It never occurred to me that she might really resent this -- and I sincerely hope she doesn't. She occasionally texts me over the weekend with questions/requests and I certainly don't resent it. I interact with her/am respectful of her time just like I would be with a colleague or with my boss, which I would have thought was a reasonable standard?

Your nanny more than likely thinks you are weird and don't respect her boundaries. You can think what you like but she will say it's fine and smile while thinking you are crazy and intrusive because you are her boss. You should've told your child to wait. What is wrong with some of you parents? Can you all not tell your kids no or not right now!? My God your kid can't get through a weekend without telling your nanny something and lean on you?

Anonymous wrote:I have a facetime relationship with a former charge that I am sorry I allowed to start. He started school and missed me so I was happy to facetime with him when I got home from my new job. Now it is a nightly thing. He calls while he is having his dinner and his parents use the time to make their own dinner. I love the little boy but his parents were always users. I don't want to tell the poor kid that I don't want to talk to him every night so I continue.


You know what? It might not hurt you to ask but it hurts me to say no. Glad you said no and I am pissed on your behalf!

You are a silly adult. I tried really hard to not just call you stupid. But picturing someone actually answering a ft from someone NIGHTLY and talking to them long enough for their parents to make their dinner when they don't even want to is stupid. A FaceTime call is not different than a regular call, hit the ignore button and move on with your evening. They are using you and you must not have a life. My current charge will try this with me sometimes on the weekend and I am usually busy and have NEVER answered. There was one time that I sent a text as a reply to it telling his mom I was very busy and would see them Monday and give a kiss for me. He also ft me on Christmas Day! I was surrounded by family and would not answer. I love them but honestly these parents and kids need all the time they can get together. I will only FaceTime with former charges and students and it needs to be planned.

Don't ask you nannies to facetime your children, MBs. It makes the nanny the "bad guy" in the eyes of your child when she says "no". My child would keep his nanny on facetime all weekend and all night if I let him - I know how he is with his grandmother and he is even closer to his nanny.

Plus, don't you MBs want to have your time with your child be just you and your child? Embrace the family time and let the nanny embrace her family time.

Anonymous wrote:I'm really surprised by all of the nannies who think that a one time request like this is unreasonable. OP -- Do you know why the charge wanted to FaceTime you?

My kid really wanted to tell my nanny something over a weekend. (It had to do with a backyard "project" they'd worked on together.) I texted my nanny to ask if it would be OK if kid FaceTimed her for 2 minutes. She immediately FaceTimed us. Kid blurted out the info, nanny indicated her excitement (probably partially feigned, but I think she was excited that kid was so excited) and they talked for maybe 90 seconds? I then shot her a text saying "Sorry for bothering you, kid was just so excited to tell you about it!" It never occurred to me that she might really resent this -- and I sincerely hope she doesn't. She occasionally texts me over the weekend with questions/requests and I certainly don't resent it. I interact with her/am respectful of her time just like I would be with a colleague or with my boss, which I would have thought was a reasonable standard?

You should have told your child to wait until the nanny returned. Nannies ate in a very bad situation of being your employee. Leave them alone during their off time.

I get it. It is not about the child but the parent. MBs ask too much and all the time.

I miss my guys so much over the weekends and love to FT with them. It makes my day. And of course I have a life of my own but they are not an intrusion. They are a welcome addition. I only hope I enrich their lives as much as they enrich mine.

Nanny here. I do love my charges but I wouldn't want to do this facetime thing on my time off unless there's a good reason for it, for instance if I want to wish the kid a happy birthday (or they want to wish mine), or if we do that because I'm off from work for a long period of time and that the kid misses me ...

Other than that I'm not a geek, I don't do face time at all and I like my time off to be what it is.

MBs expect so much dedication and love from us nannies for their kids but are just as quick to want us to disconnect when it suits.

My first charge moved away when she was 2. A few months after they moved, the mom called me because my former charge wanted to sing me a song. So my charge sang "Away in a Manger" to me in her little baby voice. I thought it was just about the sweetest thing ever. It brought tears to my eyes.

No way in heck was I pissed that the little one wanted to call me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- I like my charges so I always love to FaceTime with them. If I'm babysitting other kids I just ask them to call back later. Not being snarky but why are you working with kids? Doesn't seem like you care much about the ones in your care.

+ 1

This.

Children do not think of their Nanny as an "on-the-clock or off-the-clock" paid employee.
Instead they see her as an extension of their own family.

If this was an occasional occurrence I would be flattered & happy to FaceTime w/my charge.
If it was a regular, daily occurrence then I would set a few boundaries.

Of course not but the parents certainly should!!! The parents should gently tell the child that Nanny will see him tomorrow and she will be so excited by ________ then make up some excuse as to why she can't talk (she is driving, sleeping, away, etc.)

OP even has a second job that the MB was not respecting! Should the nanny take time away from her second charge to factetime the first charge?

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- I like my charges so I always love to FaceTime with them. If I'm babysitting other kids I just ask them to call back later. Not being snarky but why are you working with kids? Doesn't seem like you care much about the ones in your care.

+ 1

This.

Children do not think of their Nanny as an "on-the-clock or off-the-clock" paid employee.
Instead they see her as an extension of their own family.

If this was an occasional occurrence I would be flattered & happy to FaceTime w/my charge.
If it was a regular, daily occurrence then I would set a few boundaries.

I wouldn't like it if my boss asked me to continue to work on my private, at home time. The OP probably has her own family and wants that time to be respected.

- MB here and I simply would never ask our nanny to do this no matter how much my kids begged.