Anonymous
Post 12/12/2016 06:10     Subject: What are you buying your Au Pair for Christmas?
Anonymous wrote:What would you do for Christmas for an AP like this? He will be with us. If it helps, our children are older (10 and 14) and we do Chanukkah as well, so while Christmas is a big deal in terms of decorating a tree and the house, we don't go overboard for gifts even with our family.


Then don't go overboard with his either.
Stocking, candy, cookies, throw a bunch of inexpensive stocking stuffers at him... are you 12:51? Gloves and giftcard sound good. $100 seems a bit too much if you don't really go overboard within the family either but if you feel that's the right amount then go for it.

And yeah, he is probably burned out.
Sure there is nothing going on at home (mom sick, girlfriend left him etc)? Does he have anything to go back home to (job prospects? education?)? Have you asked?
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2016 16:15     Subject: Re:What are you buying your Au Pair for Christmas?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm a first-time HM as well. Our AP has been with us since September, and we really love her. We ordered a stocking for her to match the kids' and will fill that on Christmas Eve (including a small giftcard to ULTA or Starbucks). The kids are giving her a calligraphy kit (she's into crafty stuff), a framed photo and a small Starbucks giftcard. And then we'll give her probably $150 in cash. All told, that's probably about 1.5x her normal weekly stipend,. Although she'll receive a little less than a full week's pay in the form of cash, her gift cards more than likely will fill that difference.

AP's parents are coming to stay with us for 10 days starting 12/26. AP has a week of vacation during that time, but aside from three days in NYC, they're staying at our house the entire visit. We had wanted to give AP an extra week of vacation during her parents' visit, but we just can't swing it... Anyway, we're getting each of AP's parents a small gift as well, probably totaling $25-30 each. And we're hiring a sitter to take all three of them to dinner and a show while they're here. <-- this alone will probably cost about a week's stipend or more.

I think we're spending more on AP and her parents than we are on our two kids combined, but like I said, we're very happy with her.


You sound like a 1st time hostmom. I did this too...gave so much and got burned. I don't allow guests to stay that long in my house. Guests and fish spoil after 5 days. Maybe you have a big housecret or lots of fund's to give all that. Good for you. I did something similar and after r the parents left, she told me she wanted to go home too.

Good luck to you.


The exact same thing happened with us. We hosted an AP's mother and sister for two weeks. They ate us out of house and home, didn't lift a finger to help at all, and basically turned our household upside down for the entire time they were there. The night before they were leaving, AP announced she was going home with them. In retrospect, we realized that while they had brought me coffee as a gift from their country, they hadn't brought any to her, so clearly this departure was planned. I never saw it coming though. We have continued to host family and friends of APs, but we now have clearer expectations about helping and purchasing food, and I do not wait on APs' families at all -- they are their guests, not mine (until they show they should be treated as such, and then I am thrilled to have them once they act like I would wish and hope they would act).
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2016 13:09     Subject: Re:What are you buying your Au Pair for Christmas?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm a first-time HM as well. Our AP has been with us since September, and we really love her. We ordered a stocking for her to match the kids' and will fill that on Christmas Eve (including a small giftcard to ULTA or Starbucks). The kids are giving her a calligraphy kit (she's into crafty stuff), a framed photo and a small Starbucks giftcard. And then we'll give her probably $150 in cash. All told, that's probably about 1.5x her normal weekly stipend,. Although she'll receive a little less than a full week's pay in the form of cash, her gift cards more than likely will fill that difference.

AP's parents are coming to stay with us for 10 days starting 12/26. AP has a week of vacation during that time, but aside from three days in NYC, they're staying at our house the entire visit. We had wanted to give AP an extra week of vacation during her parents' visit, but we just can't swing it... Anyway, we're getting each of AP's parents a small gift as well, probably totaling $25-30 each. And we're hiring a sitter to take all three of them to dinner and a show while they're here. <-- this alone will probably cost about a week's stipend or more.

I think we're spending more on AP and her parents than we are on our two kids combined, but like I said, we're very happy with her.


You sound like a 1st time hostmom. I did this too...gave so much and got burned. I don't allow guests to stay that long in my house. Guests and fish spoil after 5 days. Maybe you have a big housecret or lots of fund's to give all that. Good for you. I did something similar and after r the parents left, she told me she wanted to go home too.

Good luck to you.


You sound like a peach.