Anonymous wrote:Hello, I've just transitioned into a teleworking position after a period of extended (>1 year) leave. I am in our house (not huge...around 2000 sqft) most of the day when I am not traveling. I just hired a new nanny to be at home with my 2 yo and my 5 yo when he gets done with PreK. Nanny is excellent--helpful, easy going, self-directed and positive...but this is a new situation for both of us and I am trying to figure out how to support her as she transitions into our family, while staying out of her way while she establishes independent routines. For example, when the 2yo starts crying abruptly for mom, is it best for me to stay hidden in the office, or does it look like I am avoiding helping with my own child?

She and I are talking about it (she has never been a nanny for a WAHM) and we are trying to figure it out together, but I would love some insight as to how people have made this arrangement successful.

Thanks!

Why would you think that a 2 year old crying while with the nanny would warrant you coming to help? I could only see this as helpful if it were a newborn that is nursing. And not even then because you should have enough milk pumped for the day. You would be teaching your toddler that crying gets her the attention she is seeking. Both you and your nanny should be aware of this. I'm not sure this is a real post. Sounds like a silly scenario. What is it that you and your nanny are "talking about"? Does she need you to help?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may be having these conversations with you and pretending she is trying to figure it out with you but inside she is thinking "if she thinks I want her poking around us all day she is nuts and I need to get in touch with the agency

Or she may be a competent adult and able to express herself without manipulation and hedging like a 15 year old girl.

Statements like the above are such nonsense. PP, maybe you can't communicate directly and effectively with the people you work with, but dont assume the same of everyone--it underestimates both MBs and actual professional nannies.

Wtf are you getting at? Everyone has had employers in their lifetime at some point that they disagreed with and didn't speak up because they are the employee. If the nanny was being effective in communicating with what her expectations are on this job the mb wouldn't be here looking for tips on how to work out the situation. Wouldn't this convo had been solved between the 2 of them? And please stop pretending like we don't have nannies posting here constantly asking about red flags from parents and how to resign without getting canned in the middle of notice because they can't be sure if they can speak the truth to parents. And certainly don't pretend there isn't an ENTIRE THREAD based on nannies and the troubles they face with these wahp. Gtfoh

When you first began a position you are weighing the pros and cons in your head and know what you will tolerate and will not. The nanny isn't the one here asking the mb is

Thank you for making my point about communicating like a 15 year old girl.

Something that might be of value when you grow up: just because you have a certain experience, doesn't make it universal. Are there some employers you can't talk to? Sure. But I would be willing to bet hard money that you almost never have postitive honest conversations simply because you are pretty stupid and defensive. I've seen you all over these boards assuming just because you cant talk to you MB, everyone else must be having the same problem. Guess what, honey? The problem isnt them: it's you.

Lol you can't even have a discussion without name calling. Please grow up yourself. You have seen ME all over these boards? Are you sure because I haven't been all over these boards though I did read and participate in the thread titled "stay out of it wahp". I happen to have a great mb and she communicates with me and leaves me alone. I do t have this issue but if I did it would not last long. Some of you trip me up talking to anonymous posters like they are your best friends and you know who is who because someone hurt your feelings in some other thread. Try again.

And I stick by what I said. A new nanny is always looking for red flags in the beginning and once things become clear she will QUIT and move on if there are no boundaries like I have had to before. So keep thinking you can treat people a certain way and be disrespectful and see what it will get you. Trust me the nanny in the op, if she is experienced, does not want the Mom running in the room because a 2 year old is crying with the nanny. And for a mom to even consider interfering is a red flag.