Anonymous wrote:I also think you can factor in the 3.5 years here. If she has played by the "rules" until now, I would be very inclined to try to pay her something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three relatives of an age that I'm expecting to need bereavement leave three times in the next 5 years. Yes, I'll use my vacation/PTO, but if I need to go three times in one year, it won't be enough. I have it written into my contract that bereavement leave can't be denied, but that if I don't have any vacation/PTO, my employer can choose to do 25% of my pay for however long I'm gone and 75% for matching time when I return, or 50-50%. My employer felt better about not paying for those weeks, just advancing a portion of the pay for the next couple weeks, and I know that I'm not pushing for something that might cost me my job. But, I also know that this is coming, and my preference is to use vacation/PTO, so unless all three pass in one year, it's unlikely to be an issue.

OP, can you talk to the nanny about advancing part of her pay while she's gone with the understanding that matching time after she returns will be the remainder for those weeks, not the full amount?

Interesting, pp. How long did you specify the bereavement leave would be for each time?

I didn't specify, but it's understood that it's 1-2 weeks. I have to travel back home, I'm the executor, and I have to have time to clean everything out. It's not the funerals, those are preplanned and prepaid.

Thank you for the information, pp. I also applaud you for agreeing to serve as executor for three people's wills. That is quite a commitment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three relatives of an age that I'm expecting to need bereavement leave three times in the next 5 years. Yes, I'll use my vacation/PTO, but if I need to go three times in one year, it won't be enough. I have it written into my contract that bereavement leave can't be denied, but that if I don't have any vacation/PTO, my employer can choose to do 25% of my pay for however long I'm gone and 75% for matching time when I return, or 50-50%. My employer felt better about not paying for those weeks, just advancing a portion of the pay for the next couple weeks, and I know that I'm not pushing for something that might cost me my job. But, I also know that this is coming, and my preference is to use vacation/PTO, so unless all three pass in one year, it's unlikely to be an issue.

OP, can you talk to the nanny about advancing part of her pay while she's gone with the understanding that matching time after she returns will be the remainder for those weeks, not the full amount?

Interesting, pp. How long did you specify the bereavement leave would be for each time?

I didn't specify, but it's understood that it's 1-2 weeks. I have to travel back home, I'm the executor, and I have to have time to clean everything out. It's not the funerals, those are preplanned and prepaid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three relatives of an age that I'm expecting to need bereavement leave three times in the next 5 years. Yes, I'll use my vacation/PTO, but if I need to go three times in one year, it won't be enough. I have it written into my contract that bereavement leave can't be denied, but that if I don't have any vacation/PTO, my employer can choose to do 25% of my pay for however long I'm gone and 75% for matching time when I return, or 50-50%. My employer felt better about not paying for those weeks, just advancing a portion of the pay for the next couple weeks, and I know that I'm not pushing for something that might cost me my job. But, I also know that this is coming, and my preference is to use vacation/PTO, so unless all three pass in one year, it's unlikely to be an issue.

OP, can you talk to the nanny about advancing part of her pay while she's gone with the understanding that matching time after she returns will be the remainder for those weeks, not the full amount?

Interesting, pp. How long did you specify the bereavement leave would be for each time?

Anonymous wrote:I have three relatives of an age that I'm expecting to need bereavement leave three times in the next 5 years. Yes, I'll use my vacation/PTO, but if I need to go three times in one year, it won't be enough. I have it written into my contract that bereavement leave can't be denied, but that if I don't have any vacation/PTO, my employer can choose to do 25% of my pay for however long I'm gone and 75% for matching time when I return, or 50-50%. My employer felt better about not paying for those weeks, just advancing a portion of the pay for the next couple weeks, and I know that I'm not pushing for something that might cost me my job. But, I also know that this is coming, and my preference is to use vacation/PTO, so unless all three pass in one year, it's unlikely to be an issue.

OP, can you talk to the nanny about advancing part of her pay while she's gone with the understanding that matching time after she returns will be the remainder for those weeks, not the full amount?

Anonymous wrote:I have three relatives of an age that I'm expecting to need bereavement leave three times in the next 5 years. Yes, I'll use my vacation/PTO, but if I need to go three times in one year, it won't be enough. I have it written into my contract that bereavement leave can't be denied, but that if I don't have any vacation/PTO, my employer can choose to do 25% of my pay for however long I'm gone and 75% for matching time when I return, or 50-50%. My employer felt better about not paying for those weeks, just advancing a portion of the pay for the next couple weeks, and I know that I'm not pushing for something that might cost me my job. But, I also know that this is coming, and my preference is to use vacation/PTO, so unless all three pass in one year, it's unlikely to be an issue.

OP, can you talk to the nanny about advancing part of her pay while she's gone with the understanding that matching time after she returns will be the remainder for those weeks, not the full amount?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also think you can factor in the 3.5 years here. If she has played by the "rules" until now, I would be very inclined to try to pay her something.

I wouldn't. OP's job isn't going to pay her if she takes time off and has no leave. It's effectively the same as FMLA would be.

Keep paying her insurance, don't pay her. I'm sure she isn't expecting you to.

I love how everyone likes to compare nannying to any other job, except when it isn't convenient. OP is probably actually covered by FMLA and can take extended leave to care for a relative without fear of losing her job. OP probably gets more than 2 weeks of vacation after having X amount of years of experience in her field, and nearly 4 years in her current position. OP probably has clearly defined job duties and boundaries concerning what can reasonably be expected of her.

Stop trying to compare the two jobs. OPs nanny has cared for her family and her children for nearly 4 years, so clearly they have been happy with her, and OP clearly has a desire to help. Now, in OP's case she can't afford to pay her and someone else, and I think that's perfectly okay. However the attitude that because your job doesn't see you as a person worthy of compassion means your nanny isn't either is appalling. Remember your lack of compassion next time you leave your child in the hands of your nanny and you can only hope she has more compassion for them than you do for her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also think you can factor in the 3.5 years here. If she has played by the "rules" until now, I would be very inclined to try to pay her something.

I wouldn't. OP's job isn't going to pay her if she takes time off and has no leave. It's effectively the same as FMLA would be.

Keep paying her insurance, don't pay her. I'm sure she isn't expecting you to.

Anonymous wrote:I also think you can factor in the 3.5 years here. If she has played by the "rules" until now, I would be very inclined to try to pay her something.