I am a nanny, not an employer, so maybe I'm not the one you need to hear from. But I had the same concern about a year ago. I had a miscarriage and I had to take time off of work to see a doctor (not to mention the loss I was grieving). I was worried of telling my boss, but not because I feared professionalism - I was really just concerned about her having to miss work for me. I knew she was very stretched at that point, but when I called to tell her I needed some time off for an urgent doctor's appointment, I could tell she was a little upset at first. When I (finally) disclosed what it was for, she dropped all of that and really came through for me.

My experience (although I'm sure not everyone's) is that a good family will care much for their nanny as much as a good nanny will care for their child(ren). My boss not only let me take the day off of work (it was a thursday), but let me also take friday off, and even drove to my house (30-40 minutes away) to drop off my paycheck and see how I was doing.

I would think they do care very much for your grief, and even/especially more so if they have ever lost someone.

My nanny's mom died and she found out at work. I was working from home that day. I gave her the rest of the day off with pay. she was definitely grieving, and i understood. but she came back the very next day and made some pretty serious and major mistakes. all of this after i called her and told her to take the time off. that part was frustrating.

At first I thought this post was about your mom dying at her work. Sorry for the loss of your mom, OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not an MB, but I would actually find it disconcerting if I was with someone when they got the news that their mother had died, and they didn't react. I wouldn't worry about it OP.

This

I feel bad that both of you would judge any type of reaction to this news. We are all individuals, we all grieve differently. OP's way was just as valid as someone's who would remain stoic in the situation.

+1. Many people would be stunned. Not crying does not mean one is heartless.

My nanny would probably do the same. While I am a very private person and prefer not to cry in front of others, I would not think less of anyone else breaking down after receiving such upsetting news. I would have hugged you and given you the rest of the day off if I could.

Anonymous wrote:this board is nuts lol. even the op in this thread sounds strange. why would anyone come on this board questioning whether them crying in front of their boss because they found out their mother had passed might make them seem unprofessional?! like really? of all the things to be worried about! I can't decide which post is stranger. the ops or th done telling her she should've waited until she was home to cry instead. lol what!? we are talking about a nanny job. working in someones home and knowing way more than you would on any other job.. boy theres no place like dcurbanmom

Those are the strange posts? Really?

this board is nuts lol. even the op in this thread sounds strange. why would anyone come on this board questioning whether them crying in front of their boss because they found out their mother had passed might make them seem unprofessional?! like really? of all the things to be worried about! I can't decide which post is stranger. the ops or th done telling her she should've waited until she was home to cry instead. lol what!? we are talking about a nanny job. working in someones home and knowing way more than you would on any other job.. boy theres no place like dcurbanmom

MB here. No, I would never think less of my nanny for grieving upon hearing such shocking and sad news. In fact, I'd be looking for ways to support her during this difficult time.

I'm so sorry about your loss, OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not an MB, but I would actually find it disconcerting if I was with someone when they got the news that their mother had died, and they didn't react. I wouldn't worry about it OP.

This

I feel bad that both of you would judge any type of reaction to this news. We are all individuals, we all grieve differently. OP's way was just as valid as someone's who would remain stoic in the situation.

I lose it for a short time and then go into "have to do" mode. BUT.. I haven't lost my mom.

I'm sorry for your loss OP, and I don't think you need to worry.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not an MB, but I would actually find it disconcerting if I was with someone when they got the news that their mother had died, and they didn't react. I wouldn't worry about it OP.

This

Not at all considering it was your beloved mother.

Your boss probably understands fully how huge a loss this was for you.

I wouldn't worry too much about lack of professionalism on the job....Anyone would have the exact same reaction.

My condolences OP.