Anonymous
03/13/2016 22:22
Subject: What would you make of this?
How is it everyone knows that the parents aren't being sneaky? As a nanny that had gut feelings about strange behavior before, that wasnt even this apparent, I have to concur. Whether it's on purpose or not the mb is sneaking around the nanny with info about the future and avoiding the talk. Op find another position!
Anonymous
03/13/2016 15:47
Subject: What would you make of this?
Anonymous wrote:The parents aren't being sneaky, sure, but they are openly mulling over tossing the plan everyone had agreed to, and throwing OPs employment and financial situation into upheaval. The fact that the dad thinks it's not a big deal for OP to lose 5 hours of OT or more shows how little they really care how this will affect her. They just expect her to roll with the financial punch they're considering throwing her way.
OP, I suggest looking for the best position you can find. Don't waste energy looking for something that works for their timeline, because they don't even know what that will be. Find something that works for you, give the proper notice, and if these people get their act together and come to you with a plan that doesn't put a financial burden on you, you can ammend your plan, but for now you need to look out for yourself since they clearly aren't.
I agree. This is good advice, OP.
Anonymous
03/13/2016 15:29
Subject: What would you make of this?
The parents aren't being sneaky, sure, but they are openly mulling over tossing the plan everyone had agreed to, and throwing OPs employment and financial situation into upheaval. The fact that the dad thinks it's not a big deal for OP to lose 5 hours of OT or more shows how little they really care how this will affect her. They just expect her to roll with the financial punch they're considering throwing her way.
OP, I suggest looking for the best position you can find. Don't waste energy looking for something that works for their timeline, because they don't even know what that will be. Find something that works for you, give the proper notice, and if these people get their act together and come to you with a plan that doesn't put a financial burden on you, you can ammend your plan, but for now you need to look out for yourself since they clearly aren't.
OP, I suggest looking for the best position you can find. Don't waste energy looking for something that works for their timeline, because they don't even know what that will be. Find something that works for you, give the proper notice, and if these people get their act together and come to you with a plan that doesn't put a financial burden on you, you can ammend your plan, but for now you need to look out for yourself since they clearly aren't.
Anonymous
03/13/2016 15:13
Subject: What would you make of this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how many of you are saying the parents are being sneaky! Preschool is MONTHS away, more than enough time to find a new job, and they have just seen the school and just started to make plans.
Why is everyone assuming they aren't deciding on the details before they tell OP what they can offer for the fall (that sounds like what DB was saying -- he wasn't sure how, but they were going to try to work it out).
Then, with still MONTHS to go, OP could decide what to do, whether to counter with a different plan or move on. Instead, she only has half the information, and is anxious.
If the parents still haven't said anything by the end of the month, when you know they visited the preschool and have been talking about it, or brush her off entirely, that's one thing. But I don't see anything "sneaky" going on here.
"more than enough tie to find another job" typical response from entitled MB that doesn't understand how not communicating with her employee can stress her out. If its so important for parents to make decisions like a freaking preschool for a young child MONTHS in advance how can it not be seen as MORE important for a grown woman with a livelihood and family to maintain to not get the same courtesy?
Her MB is mumbling things and rushing out and not being very clear about what is going on. She could easily sit down and at least explain what she is thinking to her nanny. But many of you view nannies like dishrag that you can just replace next time you pop into target.
Exactly.
Anonymous
03/13/2016 14:57
Subject: What would you make of this?
Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how many of you are saying the parents are being sneaky! Preschool is MONTHS away, more than enough time to find a new job, and they have just seen the school and just started to make plans.
Why is everyone assuming they aren't deciding on the details before they tell OP what they can offer for the fall (that sounds like what DB was saying -- he wasn't sure how, but they were going to try to work it out).
Then, with still MONTHS to go, OP could decide what to do, whether to counter with a different plan or move on. Instead, she only has half the information, and is anxious.
If the parents still haven't said anything by the end of the month, when you know they visited the preschool and have been talking about it, or brush her off entirely, that's one thing. But I don't see anything "sneaky" going on here.
"more than enough tie to find another job" typical response from entitled MB that doesn't understand how not communicating with her employee can stress her out. If its so important for parents to make decisions like a freaking preschool for a young child MONTHS in advance how can it not be seen as MORE important for a grown woman with a livelihood and family to maintain to not get the same courtesy?
Her MB is mumbling things and rushing out and not being very clear about what is going on. She could easily sit down and at least explain what she is thinking to her nanny. But many of you view nannies like dishrag that you can just replace next time you pop into target.
Anonymous
03/13/2016 12:00
Subject: What would you make of this?
Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how many of you are saying the parents are being sneaky! Preschool is MONTHS away, more than enough time to find a new job, and they have just seen the school and just started to make plans.
Why is everyone assuming they aren't deciding on the details before they tell OP what they can offer for the fall (that sounds like what DB was saying -- he wasn't sure how, but they were going to try to work it out).
Then, with still MONTHS to go, OP could decide what to do, whether to counter with a different plan or move on. Instead, she only has half the information, and is anxious.
If the parents still haven't said anything by the end of the month, when you know they visited the preschool and have been talking about it, or brush her off entirely, that's one thing. But I don't see anything "sneaky" going on here.
+1
Anonymous
03/13/2016 10:19
Subject: What would you make of this?
I can't believe how many of you are saying the parents are being sneaky! Preschool is MONTHS away, more than enough time to find a new job, and they have just seen the school and just started to make plans.
Why is everyone assuming they aren't deciding on the details before they tell OP what they can offer for the fall (that sounds like what DB was saying -- he wasn't sure how, but they were going to try to work it out).
Then, with still MONTHS to go, OP could decide what to do, whether to counter with a different plan or move on. Instead, she only has half the information, and is anxious.
If the parents still haven't said anything by the end of the month, when you know they visited the preschool and have been talking about it, or brush her off entirely, that's one thing. But I don't see anything "sneaky" going on here.
Why is everyone assuming they aren't deciding on the details before they tell OP what they can offer for the fall (that sounds like what DB was saying -- he wasn't sure how, but they were going to try to work it out).
Then, with still MONTHS to go, OP could decide what to do, whether to counter with a different plan or move on. Instead, she only has half the information, and is anxious.
If the parents still haven't said anything by the end of the month, when you know they visited the preschool and have been talking about it, or brush her off entirely, that's one thing. But I don't see anything "sneaky" going on here.
Anonymous
03/13/2016 00:42
Subject: What would you make of this?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for your help. DB totally spilled the beans today. MB left early for work today, DB was standing around chatting with me and I asked him what he thought of the preschool tour. He said they "loved it and are definitely going for it." He said "don't worry though, it's only 2.5 hours twice a week so you're only going to lose five hours per week, and we'll try to come up with a way for you to make them up at other times if we can."
My schedule is 8am-5:30pm M-F, and preschool is 9:30-12, so it's not "just" five hours I'd be losing, it's at least 8 hours per week. Based on what they both have said already, they don't plan to fill that time for me, I just will be off unpaid, and it sounds like MB or DB or possibly grandma will do drop offs. I live pretty far from my NFs home and the preschool, about 40 mins away, which they know, so it wouldn't make sense for me to come and do 90 mins and a drop off just to come back 2.5 hours later (it would if I was being paid and using that time for chores and errands, but that's clearly not what they're thinking). When DB said it's only 5 hours a week, he was only considering the hours DD will be in school, not the other 1.5 hours I'd be losing those mornings, so it's really 8 hours per week I'm losing. And since that's all the OT I make, my earnings will be reduced by $800 each month!
The biggest issue of course isn't money, it's the trust, which I feel that I've lost. I'll be speaking with my husband tonight about moving sooner if we can. Thank you again.
gosh op I am so sorry! I know this must be nerve wrecking. I think if you re going to stay versus going ahead and looking for something else would be to pull your mb to the side, but i suggest sending her an email or text and mention that db said that you all have decided to go for it. mention how you know sometimes husbands can misconstrue things but you would love to have a sit down with her to clarify things for your peace of mind and so you can act accordingly. I would keep it very light and cheerful and use a smiley even. but professional. then once you have the sit down that will have forced her to clarify things with him beforehand and she will have some definites ready for you. Keep in mind that no matter what tell her you want your contract to reflect the changes. If you aren't happy with what she has to say move on. good luck!
ps
id start looking regardless because it sounds like she is being unnecessarily sneaky about this
Anonymous
03/10/2016 19:18
Subject: What would you make of this?
Don't take the dads word as gospel truth. Dads aren't always 100% in the know. Sometimes they are, but not always.
Anonymous
03/10/2016 19:08
Subject: What would you make of this?
OP here. Thanks everyone for your help. DB totally spilled the beans today. MB left early for work today, DB was standing around chatting with me and I asked him what he thought of the preschool tour. He said they "loved it and are definitely going for it." He said "don't worry though, it's only 2.5 hours twice a week so you're only going to lose five hours per week, and we'll try to come up with a way for you to make them up at other times if we can."
My schedule is 8am-5:30pm M-F, and preschool is 9:30-12, so it's not "just" five hours I'd be losing, it's at least 8 hours per week. Based on what they both have said already, they don't plan to fill that time for me, I just will be off unpaid, and it sounds like MB or DB or possibly grandma will do drop offs. I live pretty far from my NFs home and the preschool, about 40 mins away, which they know, so it wouldn't make sense for me to come and do 90 mins and a drop off just to come back 2.5 hours later (it would if I was being paid and using that time for chores and errands, but that's clearly not what they're thinking). When DB said it's only 5 hours a week, he was only considering the hours DD will be in school, not the other 1.5 hours I'd be losing those mornings, so it's really 8 hours per week I'm losing. And since that's all the OT I make, my earnings will be reduced by $800 each month!
The biggest issue of course isn't money, it's the trust, which I feel that I've lost. I'll be speaking with my husband tonight about moving sooner if we can. Thank you again.
My schedule is 8am-5:30pm M-F, and preschool is 9:30-12, so it's not "just" five hours I'd be losing, it's at least 8 hours per week. Based on what they both have said already, they don't plan to fill that time for me, I just will be off unpaid, and it sounds like MB or DB or possibly grandma will do drop offs. I live pretty far from my NFs home and the preschool, about 40 mins away, which they know, so it wouldn't make sense for me to come and do 90 mins and a drop off just to come back 2.5 hours later (it would if I was being paid and using that time for chores and errands, but that's clearly not what they're thinking). When DB said it's only 5 hours a week, he was only considering the hours DD will be in school, not the other 1.5 hours I'd be losing those mornings, so it's really 8 hours per week I'm losing. And since that's all the OT I make, my earnings will be reduced by $800 each month!
The biggest issue of course isn't money, it's the trust, which I feel that I've lost. I'll be speaking with my husband tonight about moving sooner if we can. Thank you again.
Anonymous
03/10/2016 18:26
Subject: What would you make of this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:More often than not, nannies tend to get too little notice to secure a decent replacement job, so just ignore the bad advice of these selfish parents on this thread.
OP should look out for her own financial stability because her employer certainly will not.
This is true, but they just visited the preschool! Give the people a couple of weeks before you decide they're going to screw you over.
Haven't been around this block, have you? I have.