Anonymous wrote:Our AP did this. Just up and left to get married. She was searching really hard for a husband in her off time. I often wonder if they are still married.

They all do. And then once they have that green card, it's off to "irreconcilable differences".

Haha, can not fathom german or swedish gisrl wanting to marry an american. Thai or Latin American is different as they would hold on tight to not to go back. Germany and Sweden on the other hand have a way better quality of life than here, so no special interest is expected from those girls.

This is insane and disgusting to read!!! If an au finds love they can get married. Living with people like you is what makes an au pair wants to get married and leave. You think it’s easy to just leave your home and live with strangers! We go through a lot and y’all expect us to be perfect. Some of you can’t even handle your own kids nx!

Our Colombian au pair broke the contract after 18 months after her mom came to visit and convinced her that is she wanted to marry her (American) boyfriend she had to return to Colombia ASAP to finish her degree. Cultural Care provided minimal support. I would have quit the agency except that they were applying a credit to our account for the "unused" portion of the fee. And we wound up with an awesome au pair who is a much better fit for our family.

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think AU pairs come here? All of the ones I've known to do this were British and Sweedish. It's very easy, and tons of people (not just AU pairs) do it.

You make all APs sound pretty shallow... I have had only one out of 8 who ended up getting married to an American she met during her year, and she did it two years after returning to her home country. It was never in her plans, but just happened.

Why do you think AU pairs come here? All of the ones I've known to do this were British and Sweedish. It's very easy, and tons of people (not just AU pairs) do it.

Our AP did this. Just up and left to get married. She was searching really hard for a husband in her off time. I often wonder if they are still married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow you all are doing some serious stereotyping.

Yep, we are. But when you are housing someone who takes care of your kids for a year based on a few skype interviews and a poorly-written application, you go with what you've got. It's not like a nanny where you can talk to the last 3 employers and get a good sense of the person.

It is also not like a nanny whom You pay 2 to 2.5 times what you pay an AP, plus you get 5. Hours of OT you get at bargain rates.. My heart is not bleeding for you.

Don't feel like a fool - it's really too bad and you just have to pick up from here and move forward. We haven't extended with anyone, nor had an AP who was remotely interested in getting married while here (I suppose if they met someone they might but all ours have been on a gap year with intentions to go to university the AP year and not extend, etc.).

I would think the agency would help you find a rematch candidate, and you can get someone in pretty quickly. Then start searching for the new AP for whenever the rematch person's year is up. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow you all are doing some serious stereotyping.

Yep, we are. But when you are housing someone who takes care of your kids for a year based on a few skype interviews and a poorly-written application, you go with what you've got. It's not like a nanny where you can talk to the last 3 employers and get a good sense of the person.

It is WRONG to hold an entire race of people accountable for the actions of individuals. There is no defense of this behavior.

It's a country, not a race. And it's perfectly reasonable to decide you don't want an au pair from a particular country for any reason. Some people don't like Germans and Swedes because they are too cold. Some don't like Latin APs because they may not be on time enough, etc. Different countries and cultures have different tenancies. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but I'm not taking my chances sticking my kids in a car with someone who has a license from Thailand, where the driving is crazy and the licencing process is a joke.

So is it okay to judge all host moms as a cheap stereotyping monolith?

Sure, you can decide who lives in your house based on any criteria you choose.