Anonymous wrote:I would move on and find someone else

Seriously? HIPPO'd on a two-month-old thread to write a one sentence piece of advice?

I would move on and find someone else

OP, that was nice of you to post an update. I sometimes wonder how things worked out with some of the posts here, so it is nice to hear how it worked out for you all.

It sounds like a frank and honest talk between the two of you was very worthwhile for all parties.

That's great OP. Thanks for the update.

I hope this continues and things stay stable and manageable for you.

Because of the latest "sick nanny" thread, I thought I'd bump this with an update.

I had a talk with our nanny and gave her an extra half day off to coordinate doctors' appointments. I also made it clear that I didn't want her driving with a headache. That was two months ago.

This is the first time she has had health insurance, so there have been a lot of appointments. She is working hard to make them very early or very late, or on days we're away, so that's good, and she's planning in advance, also good. So, hopefully all the tests and referrals will pay off for her and her health. She's 25; I feel badly for her having to deal with all of this at what should be her healthiest time of life.

The benefit to me is that she is taking all of this seriously instead of just suffering and not doing well at work. She has also cut the complaining about symptoms by about 75%, probably because she could tell I was nearing the end of my patience with the "down" days.

She is doing all of this and staying within her PTO (she's even taken some "fun" days over the last month or so), so so far, I would say this is resolving well for us both.

If you have been paying her above-board/paying taxes, she should be able to collect unemployment or disability. What about paying for insurance for 2 - 3 months + a disability attorney if she doesn't get it on her first application (it is very very common to need to appeal a couple times).

That is MORE than reasonable OP. She is lucky to have you as an employer.

I hope it works out.

Anonymous wrote:It went ok. We talked as frankly as we could, and we decided to give it 60 days and see where we are at that point. I had her promise not to drive with a headache. This will mean they may have to skip some activities, or I will have to adjust my schedule to provide carpool service. I was willing to do this for two months because she has been so reliable and loyal to us. In the meantime, I told her that she needed to make pursuing treatment a priority and a job requirement.

If, in 60 days, the status quo has proven untenable, or she has had to call out a lot, we are going to figure out a reduced schedule.

Good luck, OP.

It went ok. We talked as frankly as we could, and we decided to give it 60 days and see where we are at that point. I had her promise not to drive with a headache. This will mean they may have to skip some activities, or I will have to adjust my schedule to provide carpool service. I was willing to do this for two months because she has been so reliable and loyal to us. In the meantime, I told her that she needed to make pursuing treatment a priority and a job requirement.

If, in 60 days, the status quo has proven untenable, or she has had to call out a lot, we are going to figure out a reduced schedule.

How did your conversation go OP?

OP sorry for the tough predicament you are in, It really sounds like you are trying to be as accomodating as you possibly can be, however as a parent you also have a responsibility to keep your children safe at ALL times. No exceptions.

I think next week at her review you should definitely bring this up to her.

Let her know that you do sympathize with her health issues while at the same time all the times off have taken a great toll regarding your job as well as your husbands.

Tell her you want to work this out together but that if she feels that her health issues may affect her reliability, then you may have to find a new caregiver.

Again this is about your children ultimately....

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure she has migraines and not hangovers?

+1