Anonymous wrote:And you all get mad when people call the AP program a version of modern day slavery? This is EXACTLY the type of thing they're talking about.

Longtime host mom here, and I wrote this above. But this is also why, after further thought, I and so many others do not think that this post is real. In fact, maybe you are the one who is writing it? Maybe now you are finally getting your "proof" that there is slavery going on in the au pair program?

And you all get mad when people call the AP program a version of modern day slavery? This is EXACTLY the type of thing they're talking about.

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Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I have an AP that has days free since both my kids are in school. We aren't using our 45 hours a week (only about 17.5) so we could spare her during the day. How much are you offering? I'd like to offset the cost of the AP program somewhat.

Shouldn't you ask her if she wants to do it? Also, are you pocketing the money?

no, I would call it splitting the cost.

You are horrible. My APs tell me stories about bad families, but I sometimes think I'm only hearing half of it.

APs can't be bargained for and sold. Your AP came to this country to be with your family. Not for you to divvy out her 45 hours with internet strangers so you don't have to pay her the full stipend.

I would absolutely report you if you were in our cluster and tried to do this.

Ditto. I really think I have heard it all now. Allowing your AP to make extra money is one thing (and would be very generous to do, because trust me, it can become an issue) but trying to split the cost is above outrageous. Your AP probably chose you because of the 20 hours v. 45 schedule. That is their right to do.

Then they shouldn't get paid for 45 hours.

She is. I think that's the point this poster is trying to make.

The program is set up with the understanding that the family will pay the AP the same stipend every week, regardless of hours worked. There are rules the families have to follow for how to schedule hours (no more than 45 hours per week, no more than 10 hours per day, 1.5 days off per week, 1 full weekend off per month), but other than that, the AP can work whatever crazy schedule the family needs. There are plenty of families who have school age kids with APs. For the school year, the AP usually has a lighter schedule, but they can do certain tasks associated with the children's care during school hours (for example, AP can do kids' laundry). If the family chooses to get an AP but doesn't need the maximum number of hours per week, that's on the family, NOT the AP. And yes, there are APs who look for families who will have light workloads, and that's fine!

It's also set up that AP will work 45 hours, why is it a jackpot for her that this HF only need 17? She should work at LEAST some of the extra hours.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I have an AP that has days free since both my kids are in school. We aren't using our 45 hours a week (only about 17.5) so we could spare her during the day. How much are you offering? I'd like to offset the cost of the AP program somewhat.

Shouldn't you ask her if she wants to do it? Also, are you pocketing the money?

no, I would call it splitting the cost.

You are horrible. My APs tell me stories about bad families, but I sometimes think I'm only hearing half of it.

APs can't be bargained for and sold. Your AP came to this country to be with your family. Not for you to divvy out her 45 hours with internet strangers so you don't have to pay her the full stipend.

I would absolutely report you if you were in our cluster and tried to do this.

Ditto. I really think I have heard it all now. Allowing your AP to make extra money is one thing (and would be very generous to do, because trust me, it can become an issue) but trying to split the cost is above outrageous. Your AP probably chose you because of the 20 hours v. 45 schedule. That is their right to do.

Then they shouldn't get paid for 45 hours.

She is. I think that's the point this poster is trying to make.

The program is set up with the understanding that the family will pay the AP the same stipend every week, regardless of hours worked. There are rules the families have to follow for how to schedule hours (no more than 45 hours per week, no more than 10 hours per day, 1.5 days off per week, 1 full weekend off per month), but other than that, the AP can work whatever crazy schedule the family needs. There are plenty of families who have school age kids with APs. For the school year, the AP usually has a lighter schedule, but they can do certain tasks associated with the children's care during school hours (for example, AP can do kids' laundry). If the family chooses to get an AP but doesn't need the maximum number of hours per week, that's on the family, NOT the AP. And yes, there are APs who look for families who will have light workloads, and that's fine!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I have an AP that has days free since both my kids are in school. We aren't using our 45 hours a week (only about 17.5) so we could spare her during the day. How much are you offering? I'd like to offset the cost of the AP program somewhat.

Shouldn't you ask her if she wants to do it? Also, are you pocketing the money?

no, I would call it splitting the cost.

You are horrible. My APs tell me stories about bad families, but I sometimes think I'm only hearing half of it.

APs can't be bargained for and sold. Your AP came to this country to be with your family. Not for you to divvy out her 45 hours with internet strangers so you don't have to pay her the full stipend.

I would absolutely report you if you were in our cluster and tried to do this.

Ditto. I really think I have heard it all now. Allowing your AP to make extra money is one thing (and would be very generous to do, because trust me, it can become an issue) but trying to split the cost is above outrageous. Your AP probably chose you because of the 20 hours v. 45 schedule. That is their right to do.

Then they shouldn't get paid for 45 hours.

She is. I think that's the point this poster is trying to make.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I have an AP that has days free since both my kids are in school. We aren't using our 45 hours a week (only about 17.5) so we could spare her during the day. How much are you offering? I'd like to offset the cost of the AP program somewhat.

Shouldn't you ask her if she wants to do it? Also, are you pocketing the money?

no, I would call it splitting the cost.

You are horrible. My APs tell me stories about bad families, but I sometimes think I'm only hearing half of it.

APs can't be bargained for and sold. Your AP came to this country to be with your family. Not for you to divvy out her 45 hours with internet strangers so you don't have to pay her the full stipend.

I would absolutely report you if you were in our cluster and tried to do this.

Ditto. I really think I have heard it all now. Allowing your AP to make extra money is one thing (and would be very generous to do, because trust me, it can become an issue) but trying to split the cost is above outrageous. Your AP probably chose you because of the 20 hours v. 45 schedule. That is their right to do.

Then they shouldn't get paid for 45 hours.

I think it's a troll as well. I have seen plenty of discussion here and at AuPairMom.com about AP babysitting, and I see it in real life among my AP's friends, but there is no way I believe that a real host mom is looking to "recoup costs of the program" by hiring her AP out to work for another family with the host family getting the money. No way that is not a troll.

I'm one of the PPs who wrote I was horrified, but I am now sure that this is a sock puppet chatting to herself and trying to stir up the anti-Ap folks (yet again). Done respoding to this thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I have an AP that has days free since both my kids are in school. We aren't using our 45 hours a week (only about 17.5) so we could spare her during the day. How much are you offering? I'd like to offset the cost of the AP program somewhat.

Shouldn't you ask her if she wants to do it? Also, are you pocketing the money?

no, I would call it splitting the cost.

You are horrible. My APs tell me stories about bad families, but I sometimes think I'm only hearing half of it.

APs can't be bargained for and sold. Your AP came to this country to be with your family. Not for you to divvy out her 45 hours with internet strangers so you don't have to pay her the full stipend.

I would absolutely report you if you were in our cluster and tried to do this.

Ditto. I really think I have heard it all now. Allowing your AP to make extra money is one thing (and would be very generous to do, because trust me, it can become an issue) but trying to split the cost is above outrageous. Your AP probably chose you because of the 20 hours v. 45 schedule. That is their right to do.

the Au Pair Program is a government program where the Au Pair is in America on a J-1 visa. taking on work outside the program is against the rules and "unauthorized employment" can get you deported.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I have an AP that has days free since both my kids are in school. We aren't using our 45 hours a week (only about 17.5) so we could spare her during the day. How much are you offering? I'd like to offset the cost of the AP program somewhat.

I seriously hope that this commenter is actually the OP and this is all a trolling attempt to "show" how abuse is alive and well in the AP program - because if you actually would force your AP to work for someone else and pocket the money YOURSELF - that is terrible and shows a GROSS misunderstanding of the program. I don't even know how you could suggest this to your AP with a straight face. Why not force her to go work in a bar at night and tell her to bring you home all her tips?

I agree that this seems troll-esque. I know there are bad apples among the Host Families (just as there are bad apples among the AP population), but rarely do the bad apples put it out there on the internet for all to see, so flagrantly like this.

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I have an AP that has days free since both my kids are in school. We aren't using our 45 hours a week (only about 17.5) so we could spare her during the day. How much are you offering? I'd like to offset the cost of the AP program somewhat.

I seriously hope that this commenter is actually the OP and this is all a trolling attempt to "show" how abuse is alive and well in the AP program - because if you actually would force your AP to work for someone else and pocket the money YOURSELF - that is terrible and shows a GROSS misunderstanding of the program. I don't even know how you could suggest this to your AP with a straight face. Why not force her to go work in a bar at night and tell her to bring you home all her tips?

Oops smart phone fail....

Continuing...

First you have no idea if this AP is qualified to care for an infant. the fact that she watches school age kids suggests she likely is not. Second what will you do when this HM's kids are sick and need to be home from school? This HM clearly cares about only herself so you would be out of luck. Finally, you would have an AP watching your baby for free (from her perspective). How excited for that job do you think she will be?

For all these reasons this set up would be a disaster for you personally. Add on top of that you will be helping a horrible
Host mom take advantage of her AP and the AP system in general.

To the HM who is willing to farm her AP out while pocketing the babysitting money - you really are a heinous person. And it's funny that you think (a) your AP would happily go for this even if she is currently happy with you (which I doubt) and (b) that you are truly anonymous on this or any site.

OP I would caution you against doing this at all since its against the program rules and law, but ABSOLUTELY not with any HM who would pocket the money herself rather than let her AP keep the extra money she has earned. First

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I have an AP that has days free since both my kids are in school. We aren't using our 45 hours a week (only about 17.5) so we could spare her during the day. How much are you offering? I'd like to offset the cost of the AP program somewhat.

Shouldn't you ask her if she wants to do it? Also, are you pocketing the money?

no, I would call it splitting the cost.

You are horrible. My APs tell me stories about bad families, but I sometimes think I'm only hearing half of it.

APs can't be bargained for and sold. Your AP came to this country to be with your family. Not for you to divvy out her 45 hours with internet strangers so you don't have to pay her the full stipend.

I would absolutely report you if you were in our cluster and tried to do this.

Luckily you don't know me!

And if I did get reported it would devastate my AP who would be sent home. She loves it here.