Anonymous wrote:I am the OP, I got a call from a detective this afternoon notifying me that the nanny went to the station "to report domestic disturbance" and based on what the nanny reported it's not enough to charge the EX with anything. The detective also told me I can't fire an employee for not coming to work due to domestic issues.

First of all, I have never heard of a cop call an employer to try to save someone's job. Second of all, a cop can't tell anyone who or who not to fire.

Last but not least! I think at this point I don't need to fire the nanny. I feel she abandoned her job! She should have had a way to contact me.

You are SO WRONG. There are employment protections for domestic abuse victims.

An employer who fires or penalizes an employee because she is a victim of domestic violence or because she takes steps to address domestic violence may be violating the law under several theo- ries of liability: (1) discrimination based on domestic violence in violation of new laws protecting domestic violence vic- tims; (2) discrimination based on sex in violation of traditional sex discrimina- tion laws; or (3) wrongful discharge in violation of public policy.

http://www.ncdsv.org/images/crjpp_employmentprotectionfordomesticviolencevictims_may-june2004.pdf

^^ sounds like the nanny exaggerated her reason for not reporting to work. That is why the cops couldn't open a file

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP, I got a call from a detective this afternoon notifying me that the nanny went to the station "to report domestic disturbance" and based on what the nanny reported it's not enough to charge the EX with anything. The detective also told me I can't fire an employee for not coming to work due to domestic issues.

First of all, I have never heard of a cop call an employer to try to save someone's job. Second of all, a cop can't tell anyone who or who not to fire.

Last but not least! I think at this point I don't need to fire the nanny. I feel she abandoned her job! She should have had a way to contact me.

Call the police immediately, and ask to speak with the officer who spoke to you (I hope you got a name). This sounds like a case of someone impersonating an officer, and it needs to be reported.

As bizarre as this sounds, I verified. The call came from the police station.

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP, I got a call from a detective this afternoon notifying me that the nanny went to the station "to report domestic disturbance" and based on what the nanny reported it's not enough to charge the EX with anything. The detective also told me I can't fire an employee for not coming to work due to domestic issues.

First of all, I have never heard of a cop call an employer to try to save someone's job. Second of all, a cop can't tell anyone who or who not to fire.

Last but not least! I think at this point I don't need to fire the nanny. I feel she abandoned her job! She should have had a way to contact me.

Call the police immediately, and ask to speak with the officer who spoke to you (I hope you got a name). This sounds like a case of someone impersonating an officer, and it needs to be reported.

I am the OP, I got a call from a detective this afternoon notifying me that the nanny went to the station "to report domestic disturbance" and based on what the nanny reported it's not enough to charge the EX with anything. The detective also told me I can't fire an employee for not coming to work due to domestic issues.

First of all, I have never heard of a cop call an employer to try to save someone's job. Second of all, a cop can't tell anyone who or who not to fire.

Last but not least! I think at this point I don't need to fire the nanny. I feel she abandoned her job! She should have had a way to contact me.

Anonymous wrote:MB here.

This is absurd.

There is zero excuse for having absolutely no contact with you.


You do not need or want this drama in/from the person caring for your child.

You should send her a text, followed immediately by a hard copy letter, that says: Your employment is terminated, effective immediately. Enclosed is payment for one weeks salary. This will serve as severance for your position."

And you should change all of your locks, security codes, etc... immediately.

You can tell her that you are very sorry and you wish her the best - which is why you gave her some severance, but that clearly she is not in a position to be able to provide reliable childcare.

Move on IMMEDIATELY!!!

PP I agree with you!

MB here.

This is absurd.

There is zero excuse for having absolutely no contact with you.


You do not need or want this drama in/from the person caring for your child.

You should send her a text, followed immediately by a hard copy letter, that says: Your employment is terminated, effective immediately. Enclosed is payment for one weeks salary. This will serve as severance for your position."

And you should change all of your locks, security codes, etc... immediately.

You can tell her that you are very sorry and you wish her the best - which is why you gave her some severance, but that clearly she is not in a position to be able to provide reliable childcare.

Move on IMMEDIATELY!!!

OP here, so I finally heard from the nanny -thank God. Apparently, the EX was supposed to watch the nanny's baby on Tuesday afternoon, he went over to her residence upset at the nanny for filing for child support. He allegedly took her car keys, phone and drove away with the car. Apparently she has not had a way to contact me - or to go to the police due to the later. That's the part I don't understand. The property management office has been closed etc etc. I am still processing the information.

I do know that the ex has issues but if my ex or someone else was to take a car and a phone that I paid for with my own money, I would find a way to contact the cops esp if I had a 7 month old baby in the house and a job to report to.

I asked her to "take care of the situation" then to come in we talk. I will need to see a police report before she gets her job back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Considering all of your communication was done via TEXT ONLY I am to assume that it may not have even been her at all.

Maybe she got her phone stolen.

Actually I spoke to her over the phone twice before transferring the money. I called to let her know how much I was sending and to also let her know that it was going to be very expensive sending her an X amount ... I asked if it was okay for me to pay for the tires through my credit card... She said she does her repairs at a "dingy place that doesn't have credit card machine..." So we agreed I would send her just enough cash for the four tires and a little extra.

It is unlike her to just go quiet, not communicate, and also to con. Everytime I have given her an advance she has paid it on time. It's hard to know or predict how people would act in certain situations so I guess I just have to wait to hear from her friend to know what happened.

Wait, why have you needed to give her multiple advances in a year and a half?! One for something like needing to replace tires, sure. But why in the world would you want an employee who did this multiple times?

I'd call the police and see if they can do a welfare check at night. I'd be worried given its been two days and normally she is reliable.

Anonymous wrote:Considering all of your communication was done via TEXT ONLY I am to assume that it may not have even been her at all.

Maybe she got her phone stolen.

Actually I spoke to her over the phone twice before transferring the money. I called to let her know how much I was sending and to also let her know that it was going to be very expensive sending her an X amount ... I asked if it was okay for me to pay for the tires through my credit card... She said she does her repairs at a "dingy place that doesn't have credit card machine..." So we agreed I would send her just enough cash for the four tires and a little extra.

It is unlike her to just go quiet, not communicate, and also to con. Everytime I have given her an advance she has paid it on time. It's hard to know or predict how people would act in certain situations so I guess I just have to wait to hear from her friend to know what happened.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I had one of her friends try to contact her, she hasn't heard back from her. They last talked on Monday and she sounded surprised that I had not heard from her since Tuesday. She says she will stop by her apartment this evening after work.

So is she a missing person ? Maybe contact the police

Considering all of your communication was done via TEXT ONLY I am to assume that it may not have even been her at all.

Maybe she got her phone stolen.

After 1 1/2 yrs of working for you, it would be awfully strange for her to hustle you like this. Hmm...Something doesn't add up.

Do you think it was a scam?? Could she have been set up by someone? An abusive boyfriend or even a stranger??

Is this behavior totally out of line from how she usually conducts herself?

I would want to know that she was okay first.
And if she is, then I hope you fire her stat and get your monies back from her.

Sounds to me like a hustle.

OP here, I had one of her friends try to contact her, she hasn't heard back from her. They last talked on Monday and she sounded surprised that I had not heard from her since Tuesday. She says she will stop by her apartment this evening after work.