Why would you want to stay in such an environment? They want to tell you what you can eat in your personal time? No.. just no.

It's not just modesty, since the asked for elbows and ankles. She's going to be very hot next summer. I'm very modest and an older nanny, but even my long skirts don't go to my ankles.

Anonymous wrote:Of all the threads on this forum that people call troll, no one is bothering to do it here?!?!?!
I'll do it.
OP, I think you are a troll and a sock puppet, and a bad one at that.

No one in their right mind would actually seek the advice of strangers on this matter. If you aren't a troll, you aren't very confident or self-possessed.

Jeff has said over and over that calling someone a troll within a thread is completely useless, and that if we think someone is a troll, we should report them so he can look into it. Which is what I did yesterday when I first read this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I don't know why I keep replying to this OP's replies don't make much sense. I don't think she wants advice.
This situation is one you either agree to it or you don't.
I wouldn't.
Too many red flags for me. I don't believe in forcing religious beliefs on another, as I mentioned before if they want that level of adherence they should seek a nanny who is devout as they are.

OP's NF hasn't asked her to believe as they do or do anything related to helping her charges learn the religion. What they asked is quite reasonable, imo, but I understand that most nannies would perceive it as red flags.

Did you miss the bit where they want her to change her diet outside of work to comply with their beliefs?

Anonymous wrote:How hard is it to throw on a button down shirt? Button it high enough that your collar bone is covered, wear capris or a skirt that is longer than your knee, pants or a full length skirt if MB feels that ankles need to be covered too.

I do this on a regular basis, it's not difficult. And requiring a bit of modesty from the nanny isn't over the top.

I think it's more than "a bit" they require of her.

OP, I would find another job.
At this point I think it's going to be down the hill no matter what you do.
It's time to leave.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I don't know why I keep replying to this OP's replies don't make much sense. I don't think she wants advice.
This situation is one you either agree to it or you don't.
I wouldn't.
Too many red flags for me. I don't believe in forcing religious beliefs on another, as I mentioned before if they want that level of adherence they should seek a nanny who is devout as they are.

OP's NF hasn't asked her to believe as they do or do anything related to helping her charges learn the religion. What they asked is quite reasonable, imo, but I understand that most nannies would perceive it as red flags.

How hard is it to throw on a button down shirt? Button it high enough that your collar bone is covered, wear capris or a skirt that is longer than your knee, pants or a full length skirt if MB feels that ankles need to be covered too.

I do this on a regular basis, it's not difficult. And requiring a bit of modesty from the nanny isn't over the top.

Yeah, I don't know why I keep replying to this OP's replies don't make much sense. I don't think she wants advice.
This situation is one you either agree to it or you don't.
I wouldn't.
Too many red flags for me. I don't believe in forcing religious beliefs on another, as I mentioned before if they want that level of adherence they should seek a nanny who is devout as they are.

Of all the threads on this forum that people call troll, no one is bothering to do it here?!?!?!
I'll do it.
OP, I think you are a troll and a sock puppet, and a bad one at that.

No one in their right mind would actually seek the advice of strangers on this matter. If you aren't a troll, you aren't very confident or self-possessed.

Anonymous wrote:Yes they have started sending the kids to a Jewish school. Also the mom pulled me aside and said, that she doesn't want me to be perceived as "sexy" and that's why she wants me to cover more. She said she would appreciate if I actually coveredy legs all the way to the ankle even if I'm wearing tights. She said I should start layering spandex long sleeve tops under my tops that are short sleeved or the neckline is below my collar bone.

They are trying to fit into the school. Out of respect, cover up. The school has specific requirements and those requirements are part of Judaism. They are not making it up. The car situation is over the top and if they want you to eat specific food, they need to provide it.

Anonymous wrote:Yes they have started sending the kids to a Jewish school. Also the mom pulled me aside and said, that she doesn't want me to be perceived as "sexy" and that's why she wants me to cover more. She said she would appreciate if I actually coveredy legs all the way to the ankle even if I'm wearing tights. She said I should start layering spandex long sleeve tops under my tops that are short sleeved or the neckline is below my collar bone.

And being perceived as sexy is makes you a bad and evil woman right?
Do you really want to be employed with people who support such close minded views?

Adding asking you to move in in this case is another means to control you. If you are in their house all the time they can use that reasoning for restricting your food and clothing choices.

It's time to go OP it is.

I get you love the kids after 4 years, but your job has change significantly as has the environment.

Right now it's asking you to change your diet and your clothes ( is there a salary increase to accommodate this?) soon it will be other requests.

How will you handle it when your charges start repeating extremely religious and possibly offensive rhetoric?
You won't be allowed to contradict anything they are saying even a benign we should respect all viewpoints won't be acceptable to your employers.

You can find a new job, that's not nearly as hard as undoing the damage of an unhealthy work environment.

Yes they have started sending the kids to a Jewish school. Also the mom pulled me aside and said, that she doesn't want me to be perceived as "sexy" and that's why she wants me to cover more. She said she would appreciate if I actually coveredy legs all the way to the ankle even if I'm wearing tights. She said I should start layering spandex long sleeve tops under my tops that are short sleeved or the neckline is below my collar bone.

Anonymous wrote:I have been with this family for 4 years. Suddenly they have let me know that they have a list of requirements I need to adhere to.

-cover hair when picking up the kids or being with them in public
-no treif foods in my car outside of work hours
- I must dress very modestly when with the kids. No exposed collar bone, no exposed knees or elbows.
- I must eat only kosher within an hour of coming to their home.

They have also said that they would like for me to consider being a live in. Eeeeek

Any Jewish mom bosses or dad bosses want to weigh in on how they handled the kosher/non kosher issue with nanny?

They are religious zealots and get out now!