Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened with our first nanny. She left at 7 months pregnant because she decided that is what she wanted to do. She decided to stay at home with her baby.

We would have hired temporary help if she had wanted to resume a job with us.

We hired another nanny...this time, much older where pregnancy was not in the cards.

Yet you scream ILLEGAL when, or if, your employer wants to hire women beyond childbearing age. Don't you?

I was PP. The older nanny we hired happened to be the best candidate in the next round of hiring. She said she actually did not get a phone call from anyone else and she thinks due to her age (fifties). Screw you.

Anonymous wrote:This is why you have in your contract that the nanny can not have romantic or physical relations with anyone. No sex means no pregnancy. Might sound crazy to some but I've signed contracts like that

For what compensation? Peanuts?

Given you have twins, and that they are 2 years old, I'd set a firm end date at 36 weeks - although if she has a rough 2nd trimester I might then move that back to 34 weeks just in case she goes early.

Yes, many women work right up to their due date. But given she's a nanny to twins who will still need to be hoisted onto the potty, lifted into cribs, buckled into and out of car seats, and carefully supervised so they don't run in two different directions at the park or upon exiting the car, I think it's reasonable to assume she will not want to be 9 months pregnant with twins. And in the winter, no less!

You will miss her, but let her go when you are happy with her, aren't frustrated that she's missed so many days due to a sick infant or childcare for her infant that isn't working or stable, etc.

You'll find a new nanny, you will! Or maybe you will look for a childcare center - the idea of having them go a few mornings/week her last month of work, to expand to full time once she does leave, is also a good suggestion.

I am bisexual, in a relationship with a woman. Employers wouldn't want to hire me, as I might contaminate or abuse their children, just because I'm attracted to the same gender. I might make their kids gay.

Employers don't want women, because they aren't active. They don't want men because they will abuse the kids.

Employers want someone of their own religion, language or ethnicity, to have common ground. They want a different religion, language or ethnicity to teach the kids about diversity.

Employers want someone under 30 who will be a friend to their kids and know what is relevant. Or they want an older woman to be more like a Grandma. Or they want someone who has recently been through the baby stages. Sometimes they advertise for 40+ hoping they get someone who is too old to have any more kids, but young enough to not feel like a Grandma.

Employers want someone with kids, because she knows what it's like to be a mom. Or they want someone without kids, because that way she won't call off when her kid is sick.

Sometimes they want a college student, sometimes they want someone with a degree, and sometimes they don't want the nanny to have anything beyond a HS degree or GED.

Sometimes they want someone single, who is more likely to be flexible (in their mind). Sometimes they want someone who is married, might share the same values, might be more stable.

Sometimes they're willing to pay top dollar. Sometimes they want the cheapest rate possible.

They want what they want. If they look long enough and ask the right questions, they might find the combination they want. And no, it's not illegal unless they have more employees. It's rare for a family to have 2 nannies, let alone more, so most don't worry about discrimination.

Anonymous wrote:This happened with our first nanny. She left at 7 months pregnant because she decided that is what she wanted to do. She decided to stay at home with her baby.

We would have hired temporary help if she had wanted to resume a job with us.

We hired another nanny...this time, much older where pregnancy was not in the cards.

Yet you scream ILLEGAL when, or if, your employer wants to hire women beyond childbearing age. Don't you?

PP 13:26 here. I would let her decide when she wants to stop working. I would not suggest a date. I personally worked until the day both my kids were born, and I was lifting my toddler the day before my second was born. I think when she stops working is up to her.

This happened with our first nanny. She left at 7 months pregnant because she decided that is what she wanted to do. She decided to stay at home with her baby.

We would have hired temporary help if she had wanted to resume a job with us.

We hired another nanny...this time, much older where pregnancy was not in the cards.

I agree with those that set an end date. Since your twins will be 2 1/2 by the time she leaves, you might consider looking into a preschool. Anyway, they will be making a transition. Many preschools have openings mid-year. You might even consider having them start in a preschool part-time (3 hours a day in the mornings) and then the nanny could pick them up and be with them the rest of the day. This would give the nanny some time off and time for DR appts, etc... and get your kids used to preschool before going fulltime.

Anonymous wrote:This is why you have in your contract that the nanny can not have romantic or physical relations with anyone. No sex means no pregnancy. Might sound crazy to some but I've signed contracts like that

You're nuts. I wouldn't let my employers tell me when I can or can't have a boyfriend or have sex. This actually sounds illegal.

I would probably give a bonus after all those years of excellent work, especially if she's making the end easier, too.

MB here -

If you are setting an end date that's a few months out I wouldn't think you *have* to give severance, but personally I'd probably give a bonus considering that she's been an amazing nanny and has clearly been open and up front about the pregnancy and her plans.

OP here,
Thank you all for your great suggestions. We will have a talk with her at the end of this week and set her final date , maybe around 36 weeks. Prayig everything goes well with her pregnancy . Do we have to give any severance ? If she's leaving on a set agreement?
We will sure miss her.

Even though she has agreed to work until her due date, I wouldn't count on it.

She may have certain complications with her pregnancy as well as be unable to do certain things with an active toddler.

Talk to her in depth and make a future plan NOW. It's never too early.

Let her know that you appreciate her offer to work until she gives birth, however you would much prefer she agree to only work until a month or at the very least, two weeks prior to her delivery date.

In the meantime, ask her if she knows anyone who may be able to fill her spot after she gives birth.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, Nanny has been with since I returned from my maternity leave. My twins were two month old at the time and are now about to turn 2. So it's been quite a time.But I'm worried she might not be able to care for them as she has always been with her pregnancy. though she says she will be fine.
As for her plans to come back , nanny says, she would rather not have us expecting her to come back after giving birth, and disappoint us if for any reason she can't come back then. Should we let her go now and find another replacement ? As she is not coming back anyway?

Usually people who really want to keep working will say Im planning to take 12 weeks etc. and then a few change their mind when baby arrives or due to circumstances then. Your nanny is already on the fence and the chances are very high she won't be back. Work with her on a suitable end date and start your search for new nanny 2 months out.

I would just plan to keep her on till 34weeks, if shes doing well great if not have back up care in place. I would really sit down and talk with her about what you both want. is she welcome to come back with/without baby? How much maternity leave would you give if she does come back? etc