OP finally back again: thanks for the insight. In addition to my 11 year old, we also have a 13 year old that is much more independent and also very busy with activities and friends. My 11 year old, though, still likes to "play" and can't always have friends over (he also lives far from many of his friends because he goes to private school). So, I want my nanny to play with him more and wanted to see whether this is realistic and for ideas. I'm not likely to get rid of her - just wanted to some ideas to get her to engage with him. She is an older woman and is not athletic, but I think she can do more.

Is the nanny only caring for your 11-year-old, or are there other children in the home? I have found it to be difficult to entertain older children when there are two or more small children around because they require so much supervision. However, if the 11-year-old is the only person she's required to care for, then that should definitely change. Pre-teens are a blast because they're finally old enough for more complex activities. In my experience, there have been situations where every child had their own phone, plus an ipad, plus a tv, plus video games, etc. Those are hard to compete with. I've invested in so many different board games hoping that one of them will pull these kids away from their screens. So, if you're kid has too much technology, you might want to dial it down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I play with all of my charges, regardless of age.

For an older child of that age, I would normally sit close by while he engages himself in T.V., a book, or his iPad.

My nanny does this with my 8 year old when she is trying to engage herself by reading (at least 30 minutes required daily) or on her iPad (limited to 30 minutes daily) and it drives my daughter crazy. My daughter moves from room to room to escape the nanny weirdly sitting by her and the nanny just follows her around.

That would have driven me nuts as a kid too, which is why I never do it. I let the child know which room I will be and and offer to be around but I always let them know they can be on their own as well... Most choose to go to their room. A child 8 years and older should have time alone and should be more than capable of reading unsupervised for 30 minutes or more. Why is it so hard to distinguish child care from hovering?

Anonymous wrote:I play with all of my charges, regardless of age.

For an older child of that age, I would normally sit close by while he engages himself in T.V., a book, or his iPad.

My nanny does this with my 8 year old when she is trying to engage herself by reading (at least 30 minutes required daily) or on her iPad (limited to 30 minutes daily) and it drives my daughter crazy. My daughter moves from room to room to escape the nanny weirdly sitting by her and the nanny just follows her around.

I play with all of my charges, regardless of age.

For an older child of that age, I would normally sit close by while he engages himself in T.V., a book, or his iPad.

Also, she should offer to assist in whatever homework he has to do while she is there.

Perhaps she can convince him to a card game. Or teach him a new one.

If she isn't interacting at some point with him, I would let her go.

Yes and I wish she didn't. He's come to see her as a playmate vs. an adult. She lets him get 'wild' and in my perspective it gets out of hand--too many rough sports. I'd prefer for her to engage him in calmer activities so that he has rest time after school. At this point he gets all wound up. Of course, he loves it, but I just don't think its that healthy.

I agree, a young male role model is often a better fit for boys 11-15.