Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't leave a 5 yr old unattended for 10 minutes

My 5 yr old plays outside with the neighborhood kids for as long as 30min unattended. I have very confident and aware kids.

I used to live in Nairobi and when you'd get out into the countryside you'd see kids that appeared as young as 4 attending to animals in the field. It's amazing how much responsibility a child can take on when given the chance to gain confidence and pride in themselves. I don't think it is healthy to hover over our children as much as we do in this day and age. I see so many American kids (and parents) utterly terrified of the world around them.

a 5 year old is very different than an 18 month old (but for whats its worth, I would leave a 5 year old alone for ten minutes)

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't leave a 5 yr old unattended for 10 minutes

My 5 yr old plays outside with the neighborhood kids for as long as 30min unattended. I have very confident and aware kids.

I used to live in Nairobi and when you'd get out into the countryside you'd see kids that appeared as young as 4 attending to animals in the field. It's amazing how much responsibility a child can take on when given the chance to gain confidence and pride in themselves. I don't think it is healthy to hover over our children as much as we do in this day and age. I see so many American kids (and parents) utterly terrified of the world around them.

Anonymous wrote:OP does she know you have a nanny cam or monitor or whatever you have?

"Child is 18 months. How long is reasonable for a nanny to leave a child alone? I am the parent and thought it was a safety hazard to leave the child alone at all, though I realize the nanny has to use the bathroom and needs privacy for that. We have a nanny cam (which the nanny is aware of) so I can see the nanny leaves the child for 10-15 minutes at a time. It seems to be a regular occurrence most mornings. If it was rare, I would assume perhaps the nanny had an upset stomach, but it is becoming more regular. I'm also unsure how to bring this up with the nanny other than "I see you're leaving my child alone for 10-15 minutes" and having it come across as accusatory."

OP does she know you have a nanny cam or monitor or whatever you have?

Nope, that's unacceptable. There are too many stories out there about freak accidents that occur with no warning that leave a child injured or worse. A quick google search about falling bookcases and chests of drawers falling on kids is enough to scare any sensible person.

Scary statistic in subheading and a good list to refer to: http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/renovation/a33636/home-hazards-for-children/

Aside from the whole childproofing thing, the nanny's job is to create a safe environment for the child. Unless she has a monitor as well and is actively viewing the screen during this time, then your child is a bit too young for the nanny to leave for so long. Independent play is extremely important, but not at the risk of your child's safety. My first thought was that the nanny was putting other things in front of your child as priorities, when it sounds like you have done everything in your power to assure that she has no pressing concerns other than caring for your child while at work (kudos for this).

I would casually talk to nanny about how nanny thinks the child's independent play time is going and then see how she responds to that. Tell her your preferred method of allowing your child this time, mention that you don't feel comfortable leaving him alone for more that X amount of minutes, and check and see if she follows suit in the coming days. Us nannies learn from the parents and if yours is not amenable to your methods then it sounds like it's time to find a new nanny.

Mb here. How long have you had the nanny for ? If she's new, maybe you need a new nanny, if not maybe she happens to be going through something . It happens to all of us. Let's be fair!

Mom needs a new sitter.

Is it possible that she is watching your child on the monitor?

If you find you've hired an irresponsible person, you need to reconsider and proceed accordingly.

Please stop leaving your children with irresponsible people you don't trust. Please.

Anonymous wrote:Not allowing a ready and willing child an opportunity to play independently is really a form of child neglect.

OP needs some parenting classes or child development courses.

sounds like you are the one who needs the classes. one thing is letting the child to play independently (and most children do it if you leave them on the floor with toys), one thing is leaving the room and going to another side of the house for 15 minutes, which is a really long time. playing independently is not equivalent to leaving a child unattended. leaving a child as young as 18 months alone in a room with no supervision every day for 15 minutes is irresponsible. as much as you can child proof a house, there are dangers you cannot get rid of

My 18 month old would probably not survive if he was left alone for 15 minutes. I take my son to the bathroom with me.

I'm just wondering what she's doing that she can't be in the same room. Even sitting and texting on her phone, though I suspect she wouldn't want to be caught on camera doing that.

That's tricky without knowing what she's doing.

Some days I have bathroom problems and make me go more than usual or longer than usual. In that case, I might leave the door a little open so my charge can come talk to me if something is wrong and I can see/hear him. But with all those cameras, that might not be doable.

I would just ask her if everything is ok and that she at least poke her head in every few minutes during that time if it is independent play.

I wouldn't leave a 5 yr old unattended for 10 minutes

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I take the points about the value of independent play UNDER THE NANNY'S OBSERVATION. Thank you for raising that perspective. What worries me is that my child it outside the nanny's view for 10-15 minutes. This seems like a safety hazard to me. My child still puts things in their mouth. While I do my best to keep the floors clean, I worry that my child could put something in their mouth and choke on it while the nanny is out of the room. Sure my child could put something in their moth and start choking while the nanny is in the room, but the nanny's response time would be much, much quicker if my child were within the nanny's view vs. out of the room for 10-15 minutes while my child is choking. I'll definitely talk to the nanny about this. I find there are usually good reason for things I see and don't fully understand (not just with the nanny but in many relationships). Again, my concern here is safety. I was wondering if others had dealt with this and other views on how long is ok for a child approximately 18 months to be left alone.

I've worked with many children at that age. It sounds like your child needs a safer environment if there are choking items on the floor. The nanny should expect to find a safe environment when she arrives every morning, as should you when you arrive in the evening.

it has nothing to do with a safer environment. even though we all childproof our homes there is still the possibility something can fall on the floor or get left behind unnoticed. a child that age should be supervised, plain and simple. 10-15 minutes of alone time is far too long. no, supervising a child that age isn't neglect (to the weird PP above); it is entirely possible to supervise a child WHILE encouraging independent play. independent play does not have to mean isolation. safety is a concern here, OP, so I'm glad you are speaking to her.

and if they are personal phone calls like another PP suggested and you don't have a problem with her taking calls, suggest she take the call in the room with the child. that way at least she is watching him. (if you aren't okay with the personal phone calls, that's an entirely different situation)