My MB is extremely "contrary" to anything I suggest, too. In the best interest of my charge, I have stopped making any suggestions at all on preschools, when to potty train, play-dates, etc. It is maddening because she is passively hurting her child (whom I know she loves dearly). Every morning I have to remind myself not to say anything about anything and stick to, "what do you think?" when asked.

I don't understand why she is like this. I have years of experience as a nanny and an Early Childhood degree and am much more expensive than the average nanny. Like OP, I love my charge and I love my job but this situation is truly ridiculous. I have absolutely no problem with the concept that it is "her child -- her rules" and I respect her right to choose. However it is frustrating that she will go against ANYTHING that I say, regardless of what it is.

Anonymous wrote:MB here- your boss sounds overwhelmed. It is very hard to be a manger of multiple people (I am too) I have people coming to me all day long looking for answers and find it hard to do my own work. And then going home and managing a nanny is hard too. No she is not handling it well.

So either, cut her some slack and stop testing her- you have no idea what she is dealing with at work.
Or if she is too unbearable, quit.
Please don't make her life harder out of spite.

Typical self absorbed mb response. How the nanny feels doesn't matter right? Because "nannies are here to do a job" but mb? No she doesn't do a job, nope she has a career and multiple employees, she's in the "corporate" world so that automatically warrants her rude behavior and egg shell walking from those around her to keep from "overwhelming" her. Lmao give me a break please. From the op it sounds like issues with her employees and work and at home may be responding similarly to this rude mb. Only op hasn't quit, yet. It's funny when I hear things like you never know what is going on for such and such. This mb never knows what others may be going through either. She finds it too much to speak to her child's nanny in the morning but it's not too much to talk her child's nanny's ear off about her unrelated bs and complain. But let the nanny utter one word about her own unrelated woes and the mb will feel offended that the nanny thinks they are equals or friends, how dare her! The mb is clearly rude, ungrateful and plays games. It's playing a game when you purposely disagree with another just to abuse power or 1 up them. Mb's usually trust the nanny's judgement after sometime and asking is just a formality or courtesy. To already have her mind made up to say no is insane and it's hilarious that op has learned how to get around it.

I've worked for some great mbs before but there have also been a couple of b*tches sprinkled in there. I notice they always seemed to have trouble in their professional life with others rather they were bosses or just a part of a team. I once worked as a director for preschool that had 7 classes and 30 staff members. All women. So I know about managing a team. You also have to deal with the many personalities of the parents that pay. This was a very well to do school so naturally some of the parents had chips on their shoulders. But you learn to adjust your people skills and deal with the consequences when you don't utilize adequate people skills. Those consequences are lessons on how to handle similar situations better the next time. Sounds like her mb isn't learning.

To the op. Laughing it off and recognizing that your boss has issues and be grateful that you are smart enough to see this for what it is and not take it personal. If you do start to feel offended it could cause you to resent her or start behaving in a passive aggressive manner. Just do what you can to not develop a toxic relationship with this woman. Focus on your charges and let their smiles brighten your day. Especially if you get what ask for.