Anonymous wrote:I don't work with kids under 6 months, period, and I make it clear during interviews. I've had one mom tell me that she intended to take the first 3 months off after the next baby, whenever that happened, and I could just take over for that baby with the others at three months. I was very clear during the interview that it wouldn't happen, so when mom started showing, I asked if she was planning on a fourth child and what her plans were until the child was 6 months old. When she was astounded that I dared to ask and then tried to convince me that I'd agreed to include the 3 month infant (without a raise or decreased responsibilities), I told her she had three months to find a new nanny.

Why?

I don't work with kids under 6 months, period, and I make it clear during interviews. I've had one mom tell me that she intended to take the first 3 months off after the next baby, whenever that happened, and I could just take over for that baby with the others at three months. I was very clear during the interview that it wouldn't happen, so when mom started showing, I asked if she was planning on a fourth child and what her plans were until the child was 6 months old. When she was astounded that I dared to ask and then tried to convince me that I'd agreed to include the 3 month infant (without a raise or decreased responsibilities), I told her she had three months to find a new nanny.

Not out of line but it will be if you bring it up again.

Wow this thread has a lot of division.

It's like 50/50 here.

Anonymous wrote:Okay if I know a person for 2 years and I know they have a kid I will ask if they are planning to have another. If I nanny for a family for 2 years I will ask the same question.

You're wrong to do both those things. We had one, weren't planning to have another, and surprise, wound up with a second! So telling you "No, we're not planning to have another" doesn't count for much.

Anonymous wrote:Okay if I know a person for 2 years and I know they have a kid I will ask if they are planning to have another. If I nanny for a family for 2 years I will ask the same question.

Well, you shouldn't.

Maybe they've been pregnant three times and miscarried each baby.
Maybe they desperately want another but have financial problems and can't take the added responsibility.
Maybe one wants another and the other doesn't and it is causing friction in their marriage.
Maybe they are having fertility issues and are frustrated and sad.
Maybe they don't want another and are sick to death of people asking.

Seriously, if someone I knew for only two years asked me that, we would no longer be friends or friendly acquaintances. It is way too personal.

Okay if I know a person for 2 years and I know they have a kid I will ask if they are planning to have another. If I nanny for a family for 2 years I will ask the same question.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's an appropriate question. You are their nanny and you need to make future plans.

By this logic, it is also appropriate for a family to ask a nanny about her family planning - they need to make future plans too. But it's never an appropriate question in any setting.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's an appropriate question. You are their nanny and you need to make future plans.

Never an appropriate question. You can always ask about longer term plans generally (ie: what happens when DC goes to pre-school etc.) but you do not need to know the granular details of their family planning. Not your business and frankly not within anyone's control so what difference do their plans make? Actually asking about what will happen when DC goes to pre-school (once that is actually on the horizon) will pretty much answer the question of more kids without the nanny having to ask it. But it is NEVER okay to ask your boss (or employee for that matter) about future family planning, no matter how close the relationship. If that is information the person wants to or feels comfortable sharing, they will share it unprompted.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's an appropriate question. You are their nanny and you need to make future plans.

No PP, you can ask at the interview what their family planning looks like but never again. You do not know or need to know what fertility issues they may be having.

Yes, it's an appropriate question. You are their nanny and you need to make future plans.

The first family I nannied for, the MB asked me if I was okay with her and DB trying for another baby. I was shocked!

Thanks everyone for the responses. I now realize that I shouldn't have asked that question.

You live and you learn, right??!

Typo there about welding meant working; blame the autocorrect. LOL.

I am a nanny and I'm telling you shouldn't be asking that kind of question. Your Q? Yes, you're out of line as many here said. Also, two years is not enough for you to be that close to her in addition as to degree of the relationship you think you have. I welding for my current family for 8 years and with two boys I never once asked if they're thinking of having a girl.