Anonymous wrote:What other daily tasks do you have her doing with three kids under the age of 4? That's a lot for anyone, and there is a learning curve with any new job/family. Give her a chance to find her groove.

Absolutely +1. I would also ask your former employee if she could solve world hunger or the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. She must have been amazing.

Oh the horror she carried a baby in a bouncy seat downstairs?!?!?!
Part time preschool isn't half of the day I hate when parent say this. What are your children's hours? 9-12? 11:30 because you mentioned lunch. She has to get them all ready load them in the car. Drop them off. Turn around and drive back to the school 2.5 hours later you see where I'm going with this. I once had a family offer me less pay because there child was in school most of the day. I worked 10 hours. 9-12 isn't most of the day

MB here. Taking care of 3 kids that young is a challenge for anyone. I would give her some time to see if she can get into a routine. I know when our nanny first started taking care of our 2 kids, it took a while for her to get into a rhythm with them, and she had previously worked with a family of 3 girls for 6 years. Good luck.

I think you are looking for validation to do what you already know you need to do. Go ahead and do it. I would do the same as you. Good luck.

I'd give her one chance to improve and then end it if it's not what you want. It's fair to tell her that you aren't happy with how she's doing and give her a chance to improve. Tell her the specific things she needs to change and how.

If she's unhappy about this, she'll quit. But if she's really interested in the job, she'll continue and work hard to fix these.

Say them nicely, and be sure to point out all of the great things about her to balance this. Tell her what you said here -- that she seems like a fantastic babysitter but that you aren't happy with how she's working out as a FT nanny. That you're giving your this chance because you really think she could be a great fit for your family, but you want to make sure you are upfront about everything right now.

The napping combined with the 20 minutes late ... is she very young, or does she have another job? This is not going to work out; she doesn't have the energy to do this.

Anonymous wrote:Update - my husband stopped her from carrying the baby, in the bouncy chair, down the stairs. She also told me she was napping when the kids napped - rather than picking up after them, or tidying the kitchen from their meals. The two older ones are in school half day and then nap after lunch so the only time all three are up is for the 2 hours after naps at the end of the day.

Thank you to the pp giving pointers on the feedback conversation. That's the piece that I struggle with - how to start the conversation.

This would be the confirmation I needed to make the call you're leaning towards anyway OP. This is exactly the kind of scenario that it wouldn't occur to you to tell the nanny not to do, that she would reply "but how was I to know?", and that you would have just hoped for some common sense and basic sense of safety would prevail. You can't cover every single dangerous act to be avoided - it's just not possible. At some point, you have to be able to trust that this person has some sense and will exercise good judgment. Now you know that this nanny is not going to be that person for you. I'd thank her for her time, pay her out for the week, and start up interviews again over the weekend.

Even experienced nannies need time to get to know your children, your house and you. When ever I start a new position I consider one to two weeks a boot camp. Are you a stay at home MB? If you are an at home MB more time is needed to adjust to you and your nannies personality and how you like to communicate. Of course 20 minutes late is not OK, and your nanny is lucky you did not fire her then. In the end if you are already having questions to your new nanny then it sounds like communicating may not help and your personalities just do not click, this happens and is why there is a trial time.

Update - my husband stopped her from carrying the baby, in the bouncy chair, down the stairs. She also told me she was napping when the kids napped - rather than picking up after them, or tidying the kitchen from their meals. The two older ones are in school half day and then nap after lunch so the only time all three are up is for the 2 hours after naps at the end of the day.

Thank you to the pp giving pointers on the feedback conversation. That's the piece that I struggle with - how to start the conversation.

Have you discussed the to-do list with her or just put it in the contract? She may not have read it that carefully. I would discuss the daily tasks with her and if she doesn't start doing them after a verbal discussion, then I would cut my losses.