OP, not sure why this got so off track! We also sacrifice for a good nanny. Money it tight but worth every penny! I don't want to engage in daycare v nanny. It is not relevant! If you have good care, you have to do everything to keep it whether it's a nanny or some other arrangement. We struggle each month but we find the money. We don't go on vacations and don't splurge! My husband works overtime and I put a stop to all things not necessary. We have had our nanny 2 years and I plan to keep her until our daughter turns 5.

Anonymous wrote:I have a good job but DH has gone back to graduate school so mine is our only paycheck. When DC was born, we looked at daycares and were not impressed. We chose to go with a nanny and hired a very well-educated nanny with years of experience. She is wonderful and DC adores her. She has his days filled with classes, activities and is extremely imaginative and energetic. Pretty much every day we come home and he has learned something new.

We rent, use some of our savings to cover her salary and rarely go out to eat. I feel the sacrifice is well worth it for DC's emotional security and education. But I am surprised by how many on the General Forum, who own homes and take vacations, say they cannot afford a nanny and have their child in daycare.

Am I alone in this?

Yes, you are alone. There is no one else like you and there never will be. You love your child more than anyone else in the whole wide world. You are the bestest mother in the universe. You can collect your medal at booth 23.

You're assuming that a nanny is the best form of care, which much of this board will agree with since it's made up of nannies & their employers, but having used daycare, a nanny, and an au pair, I don't buy into the notion that more expensive care gets you better quality. IME, the extra cost of employing a nanny buys you greater convenience, rather than greater care. Having a nanny is of greatest benefit to me - I'm the one who suddenly has half as much to do at home every morning & evening. My kid gets much of the same whether it's in our living room, or some one else's living room, or the baby room in a center. There are marginal differences in care - but those account for a small portion of the cost differential.

A family that internalizes the inconvenience of using daycare, by handling more logistical challenges with drop off & pick up, isn't failing to "sacrifice" for the benefit of their child. In fact, they may be setting their family up for a better future by doing so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, et al, sacrificing for your children is what good parents do and you need to stop patting yourselves on the back and vying for the Novel prize in parenting.

Really? Then why do so many parents stick their babies in daycare for 10 - 12 hours a day while taking vacations to Hawaii and buying new houses?

Sorry, I do think that any parent you sacrifices to do what is best for their child deserves a pat on the back.

Actually its against the law for a daycare center to have your child one minute past 10hrs. Try again, just get your facts straight before you start spewing nonsense.

Our daycare (affiliated with the hospital) allows for children to stay way past 10 hours and is here in DC.

Now you get your "facts" straight.

Hospitals and military get a waiver. What's your point? Most state law does not allow more than 10hrs. Your run of the mill Winwood and Kindercare are not going to.allow a baby to be in daycare for a minute over 10hrs. Get a clue. Stop the fantacy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you just sacrifice a bit more, OP, and you could SAH with your child? I am sure they would prefer to have mommy there, and you could certainly take a few classes and do some reading on child development and find some fun things to do during the day.
I know that my husband and I have always been much more devoted to our children and done a much better job with them than our nanny or friends nannies have done.

PP here and I could not do as good a job engaging and teaching my child as our nanny does. She works just 36 hours a week and we are with him the rest of the time. I do not doubt that you could do a better job than I could but I seriously doubt you could do a better job than our nanny could. She is energetic, imaginative, has a masters in Early Childhood Development, and ONLY cares and teaches my child - no housework.

For example, she does grocery chopping with DS and for DS and he knows the name of nearly every fruit and vegetable in the produce sections! She makes his visits quick and child-centered.

I love my baby and want what is best for him. I am not one of those mothers who think I could homeschool him better than a great teacher in elementary school -- so why would I think I could give him an better early childhood education than a former preschool teacher?

At long last, someone has finally admitted she is are crap mother.,

LOL OMG, give it up, Troll!

Honestly, Sweetie, isn't there anyone in your life you can call or visit instead of coming here?

+1 It is the same sad little Troll who always has ridiculous one-line posts. She even went so far as to write that public libraries were bad.

I feel sorry for her. She clearly has reading comprehension issues and is so pathetically negative. I doubt she is even a mother or a nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you just sacrifice a bit more, OP, and you could SAH with your child? I am sure they would prefer to have mommy there, and you could certainly take a few classes and do some reading on child development and find some fun things to do during the day.
I know that my husband and I have always been much more devoted to our children and done a much better job with them than our nanny or friends nannies have done.

PP here and I could not do as good a job engaging and teaching my child as our nanny does. She works just 36 hours a week and we are with him the rest of the time. I do not doubt that you could do a better job than I could but I seriously doubt you could do a better job than our nanny could. She is energetic, imaginative, has a masters in Early Childhood Development, and ONLY cares and teaches my child - no housework.

For example, she does grocery chopping with DS and for DS and he knows the name of nearly every fruit and vegetable in the produce sections! She makes his visits quick and child-centered.

I love my baby and want what is best for him. I am not one of those mothers who think I could homeschool him better than a great teacher in elementary school -- so why would I think I could give him an better early childhood education than a former preschool teacher?

At long last, someone has finally admitted she is are crap mother.,

LOL OMG, give it up, Troll!

Honestly, Sweetie, isn't there anyone in your life you can call or visit instead of coming here?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, et al, sacrificing for your children is what good parents do and you need to stop patting yourselves on the back and vying for the Novel prize in parenting.

Really? Then why do so many parents stick their babies in daycare for 10 - 12 hours a day while taking vacations to Hawaii and buying new houses?

Sorry, I do think that any parent you sacrifices to do what is best for their child deserves a pat on the back.

Actually its against the law for a daycare center to have your child one minute past 10hrs. Try again, just get your facts straight before you start spewing nonsense.

Our daycare (affiliated with the hospital) allows for children to stay way past 10 hours and is here in DC.

Now you get your "facts" straight.

Anonymous wrote:Who are all of these people taking their preschoolers on vacation to Hawaii? That doesn't even sound like that much fun to me.

I don't even think I would want to go to Hawaii with little kids unless I could afford to bring my nanny with me.

Sounds miserable, even dragging along a third wheel.

Anonymous wrote:Who are all of these people taking their preschoolers on vacation to Hawaii? That doesn't even sound like that much fun to me.

I don't even think I would want to go to Hawaii with little kids unless I could afford to bring my nanny with me.

We've taken our toddler and preschooler all over the world. Mostly with the nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you just sacrifice a bit more, OP, and you could SAH with your child? I am sure they would prefer to have mommy there, and you could certainly take a few classes and do some reading on child development and find some fun things to do during the day.
I know that my husband and I have always been much more devoted to our children and done a much better job with them than our nanny or friends nannies have done.

PP here and I could not do as good a job engaging and teaching my child as our nanny does. She works just 36 hours a week and we are with him the rest of the time. I do not doubt that you could do a better job than I could but I seriously doubt you could do a better job than our nanny could. She is energetic, imaginative, has a masters in Early Childhood Development, and ONLY cares and teaches my child - no housework.

For example, she does grocery chopping with DS and for DS and he knows the name of nearly every fruit and vegetable in the produce sections! She makes his visits quick and child-centered.

I love my baby and want what is best for him. I am not one of those mothers who think I could homeschool him better than a great teacher in elementary school -- so why would I think I could give him an better early childhood education than a former preschool teacher?

At long last, someone has finally admitted she is are crap mother.,

Who are all of these people taking their preschoolers on vacation to Hawaii? That doesn't even sound like that much fun to me.

I don't even think I would want to go to Hawaii with little kids unless I could afford to bring my nanny with me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, et al, sacrificing for your children is what good parents do and you need to stop patting yourselves on the back and vying for the Novel prize in parenting.

Really? Then why do so many parents stick their babies in daycare for 10 - 12 hours a day while taking vacations to Hawaii and buying new houses?

Sorry, I do think that any parent you sacrifices to do what is best for their child deserves a pat on the back.

Actually its against the law for a daycare center to have your child one minute past 10hrs. Try again, just get your facts straight before you start spewing nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you just sacrifice a bit more, OP, and you could SAH with your child? I am sure they would prefer to have mommy there, and you could certainly take a few classes and do some reading on child development and find some fun things to do during the day.
I know that my husband and I have always been much more devoted to our children and done a much better job with them than our nanny or friends nannies have done.

PP here and I could not do as good a job engaging and teaching my child as our nanny does. She works just 36 hours a week and we are with him the rest of the time. I do not doubt that you could do a better job than I could but I seriously doubt you could do a better job than our nanny could. She is energetic, imaginative, has a masters in Early Childhood Development, and ONLY cares and teaches my child - no housework.

For example, she does grocery chopping with DS and for DS and he knows the name of nearly every fruit and vegetable in the produce sections! She makes his visits quick and child-centered.

I love my baby and want what is best for him. I am not one of those mothers who think I could homeschool him better than a great teacher in elementary school -- so why would I think I could give him an better early childhood education than a former preschool teacher?

Anonymous wrote:I generally think it's a better idea to have some money set aside for your own retirement and your children's college education than to have the best nanny or the best preschool. We make financial decisions considering the long term.

NP here and that was never the issue. The issue is parents sending their kids to crowded, germ-ridden daycares when they own big houses and take extravagant vacations. Of course you consider the longterm - and part of the longterm is your child's emotional IQ.

As for DH and me, our retirement can wait - I want my child to have the best possible First Five Years and an educated, trained nanny is their best shot. Just my opinion and our choice. We can buy our first home later and go to Hawaii later - my child comes first.

I generally think it's a better idea to have some money set aside for your own retirement and your children's college education than to have the best nanny or the best preschool. We make financial decisions considering the long term.