Anonymous
Post 04/23/2015 16:00     Subject: Re:Mother's Day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't want to get hung up on terminology but any reference to the nanny as "mother" makes it much harder for the actual mother. Just something to consider...


Why? Its a word. Are you threatened by the word Godmother? Stepmother? Den mother? Stop being so insecure. Your relationship is the your kid should not be so precarious and fragile that it is threatened by acknowledging the other women who also influence and care deeply for them. No one is saying they are the same, but to deny the fact that a nanny plays a mothering role to your kid is simply ridiculous. She does nearly everything that you do, and that doesn't change who you are to them.


Do you tell everyone who disagrees with you to calm down? How you can presume to infer my demeanor is beyond me.

I'm the PP and a nanny not an MB. Please calm down - I simply gave my opinion.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2015 15:53     Subject: Mother's Day
I sent our former nanny different things over the years, but what she and her family most enjoyed was one of this edible fruit arrangements with some chocolate dipped fruit sprinkled in.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2015 15:37     Subject: Mother's Day
Most people do not think to gift their nannies on Mother's Day, however doing so would be a very thoughtful gesture on your part.

The fact that you are even considering doing so speaks of what a wonderful employer you are!

If you want to give her something, I suggest you make it from the whole family. Nothing too expensive or over the top.

How about a nice homemade "Happy Mother's Day" card (made by your child, if old enough) + either a homemade craft, baked goods or if you are feeling extra generous....A gift card for her.

I wouldn't gift her a cash bonus however for Mother's Day. That would be a little much.

Hope this helps.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2015 15:30     Subject: Re:Mother's Day
Anonymous wrote:Nothing unless she is your mother. Mother's Day is for YOUR MOTHER and no one elses.


So you don't care if your husband does nothing for you?
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2015 10:11     Subject: Mother's Day
She didn't ask for opinions. She asked what ppl have done for gifts. Some ppl said nothing, which is just fine, but this turned into an argument about mother figures. So, yep, everything you and other ppl said...just noise!
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2015 10:06     Subject: Mother's Day
Anonymous wrote:To the OP...do whatever you like, a card, flowers etc; since no one bothered to answer your question. If you choose to do something nice for your nanny on Mother's Day, it's your call. I applaud you for being so thoughtful. Everything else on this thread is just noise.


Including your post - just noise.

People have differing opinions. I have no clue what that fact is so shocking to you. This is where people share differing opinions. If you only want to heard from people who always agree with you 100% stay home and talk to the mirror.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2015 09:59     Subject: Mother's Day
To the OP...do whatever you like, a card, flowers etc; since no one bothered to answer your question. If you choose to do something nice for your nanny on Mother's Day, it's your call. I applaud you for being so thoughtful. Everything else on this thread is just noise.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2015 09:20     Subject: Mother's Day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I do not have children but have always received chocolates from my MB as she feels that I am a mother figure to her children.


We should have a separate Nanny's Day. I am NOT a mother figure - I am a teacher and caretaker. I never want to be thought of by my employers or my charges as a "mother figure". Uck!


Totally agree!!!

Absolutely pick a day to celebrate the nanny. But that isn't Mother's Day.


+1,000,000

I am not a mother figure to my charges!


as another nanny, I don't understand this sentiment. How are you not a mother figure? Mother figure and mother substitute are not the same thing. As a nanny, if you're doing your job right, your relationship is much closer to that of a mother figure than that of a teacher. I've been with my charge since she was 4 weeks old. I was there when she took her first steps, said her first words, rocked her to sleep at night, cared for her when sick, celebrated her birthdays, kissed her boo boos. I don't expect to be recognized on Mother's day, but why would I take offense if I was? Kind of ridiculous.


I am one of the above PP's and I have been with my charge since his birth and love him dearly - but I am not a mother figure! He has a great mother. I am bonded to him but am his caretaker and teacher - not a mother figure. Think about it this way - if I were a male, would I be a father figure? Since I am older, should I be considered a grandmother figure?

Terms like "mother figure" are damaging to the nanny/MB relationship as well as wrong for the child. Children have "mother figures" in their lives when they don't have mothers. Our charges have mothers.


I agree with this, and really like/appreciate this perspective.

My kids have a wonderful nanny - she loves them deeply and they love her equally. I wouldn't want it any other way. But she is not a "mother figure". She just isn't. And she wouldn't presume to say that she is. She works for us and cares for the kids in the way we direct. We hired her (and retained her for years) because of her very loving nature, and she is many important things in my kids' lives.

But mother figure is not one of them.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2015 09:12     Subject: Re:Mother's Day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't want to get hung up on terminology but any reference to the nanny as "mother" makes it much harder for the actual mother. Just something to consider...


Why? Its a word. Are you threatened by the word Godmother? Stepmother? Den mother? Stop being so insecure. Your relationship is the your kid should not be so precarious and fragile that it is threatened by acknowledging the other women who also influence and care deeply for them. No one is saying they are the same, but to deny the fact that a nanny plays a mothering role to your kid is simply ridiculous. She does nearly everything that you do, and that doesn't change who you are to them.



I'm the PP and a nanny not an MB. Please calm down - I simply gave my opinion.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2015 09:10     Subject: Re:Mother's Day
Anonymous wrote:I don't want to get hung up on terminology but any reference to the nanny as "mother" makes it much harder for the actual mother. Just something to consider...


Why? Its a word. Are you threatened by the word Godmother? Stepmother? Den mother? Stop being so insecure. Your relationship is the your kid should not be so precarious and fragile that it is threatened by acknowledging the other women who also influence and care deeply for them. No one is saying they are the same, but to deny the fact that a nanny plays a mothering role to your kid is simply ridiculous. She does nearly everything that you do, and that doesn't change who you are to them.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2015 08:11     Subject: Re:Mother's Day
I don't want to get hung up on terminology but any reference to the nanny as "mother" makes it much harder for the actual mother. Just something to consider...
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2015 07:13     Subject: Mother's Day
Again mother and "mother figure" are not the same thing. I have a wonderful mother, but also many mother figures (my best friend's mother, my next door neighbor/babysitter, my Godmother, my aunts, etc). My mother ensured tgat there were many of these women in my life who were always willing to care for and guide me in her absence. Maybe this is just different across cultures, and goes back to the fact that many in this area have never experienced that "village" mentality.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2015 07:12     Subject: Mother's Day
I am a nanny ,my boss always give something,spa,hair saloon,gift certificate,any thing,I do the same for her.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2015 06:59     Subject: Re:Mother's Day
I agree that nannies are not "mother figures" or "substitute mothers". Yes, we do a lot of the same things that a SAHM would do and we love our charges but that will never make us their mother. I prefer to be thought of as a teacher as well.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2015 06:30     Subject: Mother's Day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I do not have children but have always received chocolates from my MB as she feels that I am a mother figure to her children.


We should have a separate Nanny's Day. I am NOT a mother figure - I am a teacher and caretaker. I never want to be thought of by my employers or my charges as a "mother figure". Uck!


Totally agree!!!

Absolutely pick a day to celebrate the nanny. But that isn't Mother's Day.


+1,000,000

I am not a mother figure to my charges!


as another nanny, I don't understand this sentiment. How are you not a mother figure? Mother figure and mother substitute are not the same thing. As a nanny, if you're doing your job right, your relationship is much closer to that of a mother figure than that of a teacher. I've been with my charge since she was 4 weeks old. I was there when she took her first steps, said her first words, rocked her to sleep at night, cared for her when sick, celebrated her birthdays, kissed her boo boos. I don't expect to be recognized on Mother's day, but why would I take offense if I was? Kind of ridiculous.


I am one of the above PP's and I have been with my charge since his birth and love him dearly - but I am not a mother figure! He has a great mother. I am bonded to him but am his caretaker and teacher - not a mother figure. Think about it this way - if I were a male, would I be a father figure? Since I am older, should I be considered a grandmother figure?

Terms like "mother figure" are damaging to the nanny/MB relationship as well as wrong for the child. Children have "mother figures" in their lives when they don't have mothers. Our charges have mothers.