Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 09:36     Subject: the dreaded MB jealousy...
Your boss should be grateful that her son loves his nanny so much, but she is human after all and I think any mother would feel hurt to see her child want the nanny over her.

That being said, when with the son I would discuss his mother frequently, how much she loves him, how you two can tell her at the end of the day what fun you had (No worries...I KNOW he cannot really talk now!), etc.

Perhaps you can help him make little pictures and cards during the day that you can give to his mom.

Just to show her that she is not being excluded and that her son truly loves her the best.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 08:11     Subject: Re:the dreaded MB jealousy...
Anonymous wrote:Remind your MB whenever possible how much your charged missed her during the day or asked for her. Explain to your MB that preference is often about what the child had in mind that he and nanny were going to do - like go to the park. My charge used to cry when I left for the day - not so much for me but for the fact that I was going outside without him.

Be honest about the nanny/child relationship and tell her how often this has happened before. When a young child sees nanny in the morning it means a day of fun. When a child sees his parents at the end of the day it means dinner, bath and bed.


+1 Sometimes when my MB comes home unexpectedly during the day, my charge gets angry and ignores her -- not because he doesn't love his mother but simply because he thinks he will not get to do what I just told him we were going to do (go to the park, go to the library, go for a walk). I have explained this to my MB and told her it was very, very common behavior. I hope she understands...
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 06:41     Subject: Re:the dreaded MB jealousy...
Remind your MB whenever possible how much your charged missed her during the day or asked for her. Explain to your MB that preference is often about what the child had in mind that he and nanny were going to do - like go to the park. My charge used to cry when I left for the day - not so much for me but for the fact that I was going outside without him.

Be honest about the nanny/child relationship and tell her how often this has happened before. When a young child sees nanny in the morning it means a day of fun. When a child sees his parents at the end of the day it means dinner, bath and bed.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 01:22     Subject: the dreaded MB jealousy...
What does she expect? All of her waking hours are with the nanny. If she prefers nanny to mother, then the mother needs to spend a lot more time with her child.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2015 22:30     Subject: the dreaded MB jealousy...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most, not all, mothers are jealous of the nanny-child attachment. Some go so far as to keep switching nannies, just to avoid it. They tend to be insecure with their choice to not be the primary caregiver. Little do they realize the severe permanent damage (unstable caregivers) causes a little child.


Ugh you again? It's time to start singing a new tone dear. Until you back up your tired "severe permanent damage" claim with some actual evidence (not something you googled) give it a rest.
I'm a nanny, before you accuse me of being just another insecure, jealous MB.

You're the one asking about NF, MB, DB, huh?


God are you really this bored tonight? Read a book, watch a movie, make a friend or two. Just get a life.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2015 22:13     Subject: the dreaded MB jealousy...
Even the most well-adjusted, sane parent can find it hard to be rejected by their child. Even when we know that's normal.

Talk to your MB Op. "I'm sorry Junior is going through a phase where he's rejecting people occasionally. I was thinking that we could try building a fun little ritual around you coming and going, something that he will look forward to and can become a pleasant association? I just thought I'd touch base and see if you'd like me to try to work on it, or if you just want to ride the phase out?"
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2015 21:50     Subject: the dreaded MB jealousy...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most, not all, mothers are jealous of the nanny-child attachment. Some go so far as to keep switching nannies, just to avoid it. They tend to be insecure with their choice to not be the primary caregiver. Little do they realize the severe permanent damage (unstable caregivers) causes a little child.


Ugh you again? It's time to start singing a new tone dear. Until you back up your tired "severe permanent damage" claim with some actual evidence (not something you googled) give it a rest.
I'm a nanny, before you accuse me of being just another insecure, jealous MB.

You're the one asking about NF, MB, DB, huh?
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2015 21:46     Subject: the dreaded MB jealousy...
*tune
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2015 21:45     Subject: the dreaded MB jealousy...
Anonymous wrote:Most, not all, mothers are jealous of the nanny-child attachment. Some go so far as to keep switching nannies, just to avoid it. They tend to be insecure with their choice to not be the primary caregiver. Little do they realize the severe permanent damage (unstable caregivers) causes a little child.


Ugh you again? It's time to start singing a new tone dear. Until you back up your tired "severe permanent damage" claim with some actual evidence (not something you googled) give it a rest.
I'm a nanny, before you accuse me of being just another insecure, jealous MB.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2015 17:15     Subject: Re:the dreaded MB jealousy...
My last MB used to be frustrated when the kids would behavior better for me than for her. Which I totally, totally understand it must be frustrating to leave work early and rush home only to have your little ones throw tantrums.

I think that the best thing you can do is act excited when MB comes home "its mummy yay!" because children get excited about the things we show enthusiasm for. Try to include her as much as possible like making a picture to mail to her office and asking your charges 'tell mummy what exciting things you did today'
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2015 16:00     Subject: the dreaded MB jealousy...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Some of you office 'ladies' may want invest a little time in educating yourselves about early childhood development, bonding and attachment, in particular.

If your children have already suffered multiple primary caregiver severed attachments, all we can do is feel sorry for them.

*to invest


To further inform you... repercussions are likely to suddenly appear as "genetic mental illness" down the road. Of course people will say, "but the parents are so nice."

Think about it ladies, before getting defensive again. You owe it to your children, to do the very best you can with whatever you have available to you.

The seeds of mental illness are often (not always) sown during the formative years, early in life. When caregivers are unstable, unloving, or incompetent, of course there are consequences.

How could you think otherwise?


My "office job" is working as a child psychiatrist. I have no idea where you are getting this from. Winnicott? He really doesn't say that if you read it.

What would you say are the probable consequences of unstable, unloving, or incompetent primary caregivers during the formative years? A primary caregiver is whoever provides most of the care during the child's waking hours.

Most physicians I know, tend to believe most mental illness is caused by bad luck genes, rather than by environment (especially early environment.)
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2015 15:55     Subject: the dreaded MB jealousy...
OP, you still haven't described any acts of jealousy, so I'm confused by your posts.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2015 15:46     Subject: the dreaded MB jealousy...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Some of you office 'ladies' may want invest a little time in educating yourselves about early childhood development, bonding and attachment, in particular.

If your children have already suffered multiple primary caregiver severed attachments, all we can do is feel sorry for them.

*to invest


To further inform you... repercussions are likely to suddenly appear as "genetic mental illness" down the road. Of course people will say, "but the parents are so nice."

Think about it ladies, before getting defensive again. You owe it to your children, to do the very best you can with whatever you have available to you.

The seeds of mental illness are often (not always) sown during the formative years, early in life. When caregivers are unstable, unloving, or incompetent, of course there are consequences.

How could you think otherwise?


My "office job" is working as a child psychiatrist. I have no idea where you are getting this from. Winnicott? He really doesn't say that if you read it.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2015 15:31     Subject: the dreaded MB jealousy...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Some of you office 'ladies' may want invest a little time in educating yourselves about early childhood development, bonding and attachment, in particular.

If your children have already suffered multiple primary caregiver severed attachments, all we can do is feel sorry for them.

*to invest


To further inform you... repercussions are likely to suddenly appear as "genetic mental illness" down the road. Of course people will say, "but the parents are so nice."

Think about it ladies, before getting defensive again. You owe it to your children, to do the very best you can with whatever you have available to you.

The seeds of mental illness are often (not always) sown during the formative years, early in life. When caregivers are unstable, unloving, or incompetent, of course there are consequences.

How could you think otherwise?
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2015 14:47     Subject: the dreaded MB jealousy...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Some of you office 'ladies' may want invest a little time in educating yourselves about early childhood development, bonding and attachment, in particular.

If your children have already suffered multiple primary caregiver severed attachments, all we can do is feel sorry for them.

*to invest


To further inform you... repercussions are likely to suddenly appear as "genetic mental illness" down the road. Of course people will say, "but the parents are so nice."

Think about it ladies, before getting defensive again. You owe it to your children, to do the very best you can with whatever you have available to you.



Nobody would argue that consistent childcare is ideal. Even substandard consist childcare is better than excellent inconsistent CCPs, but your last post about mental illness? I can't help, but think you are attempting to mock nannies. Am I missing the parody here?