Definitely inappropriate. Be careful with what you tell her though - last thing you want is for her to start teaching your daughter how to lie to cover for her "don't tell mama."

Anonymous wrote:no, PP, the difference is that she is not being honest. nannies can have adult communication - that isn't the problem or what's being debated here. what IS being debated is that it is wrong for the nanny to do this and not tell her MB she's spending time with her boyfriend while she is getting paid to do her job. I'm a nanny and think this is very wrong.

The nanny in question is fully aware of how verbal her charge is and I am sure knows that she tells her mom what they did that day. It doesn't seem to me that the nanny is trying to hide anything. If OP is concerned, she should speak to her nanny, not automatically assume that her nanny is trying to be sneaky and dishonest.

no, PP, the difference is that she is not being honest. nannies can have adult communication - that isn't the problem or what's being debated here. what IS being debated is that it is wrong for the nanny to do this and not tell her MB she's spending time with her boyfriend while she is getting paid to do her job. I'm a nanny and think this is very wrong.

Wow, I don't know why I would be surprised at the responses here but really, not one person thinks this is ok?
I nannied for twins for several years and they grew up knowing my girlfriend. We all lived in the same neighborhood and would occasionally meet up for lunch or at the park for an hour. They got more attention and I was able to have an adult conversation. MB knew and was fully supportive (she would usually pay for lunch).

As long as the child is being well cared for, what is so wrong with exposing them to new people and different situations? Heaven forbid the nanny enjoy her day...

You are paying her to watch your kid, not date. It is one thing for the nanny to meet up with another nanny and her charge for lunch b/c the kids could play together. It is a completely inappropriate for her to drag your child along so she can flirt with a man. This action plus her attitude would be a deal breaker for me.

We address visitors/friends and what kind play dates we consider appropriate while on the clock during the interview process - we learned after our first childcare situation that if you don't do it upfront, it just because awkward later down the line to say that Uncle Joey really shouldn't be hanging around. Lunch with the boyfriend is not appropriate with the charge in tow.

Bring it up with her. If she's hostile and invites you to find some one else, take her up on that.

I'm afraid most people don't know how to hire a good caregiver. Hint: It's very different than hiring an office worker.

Anonymous wrote:Why do parents leave their child with a person they don't trust?

Exactly. I really don't understand why you are even thinking of continuing with this person who out and out lied to you about what she was doing with your child during the day.

Anonymous wrote:I would be concerned if she wasn't truthful about where she goes with the kids and who she is with, what else is she hiding. On a rare occasion, fine, if she tells you. I don't care if a nanny is lonely during the day. This is her job and many people are lonely at their jobs but don't just go out with friends for a few hours a day. She can socialize after work and on weekends.

This. I really can't believe that anyone would really be okay with this.

Anonymous wrote:Trust has NOTHING to do with this issue. Your nanny is being paid to be with your child and not being paid to be with her boyfriend. Period.

It is beyond time to let this nanny go, OP.

Another parent in denial. Trust has EVERYTHING to do with an employee not doing their job.

Trust has NOTHING to do with this issue. Your nanny is being paid to be with your child and not being paid to be with her boyfriend. Period.

It is beyond time to let this nanny go, OP.

Why do parents leave their child with a person they don't trust?

Why do parents leave their child with a person they don't trust?

It is NOT okay for your daughter to be spending time with a man that you do not know. I would tell the nanny that this is not okay and call her bluff on the "then I'll just quit". Let her quit.

Ask the nanny if you can meet her boyfriend sometime.

Then after meeting with him, see how you feel.

As long as they remain in a public venue, I am sure your daughter is not in harm's way.

If the nanny leaves him alone for any amount of time with your daughter, then I would certainly speak to her about it.