Anonymous
Post 04/10/2015 14:06     Subject: Different rules for the nanny...
I wish I would ASK for permission to stay home and take care of myself to get better! Bump the MB NEEDING me, you health comes first like hers did when she called in herself. And besides that she is crazy for not having backup care or her kids enrolled at a daycare as drop ins for emergency situations. I don't ask, I just tell them I'm sick. They know its the truth because they trust me and I'm never out
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2015 13:36     Subject: Re:Different rules for the nanny...
Anonymous wrote:My MB is a very self-centered woman, too. And not just with me. I put up a post-it on my fridge that says "DO NOT OFFER, DO NOT AGREE" to remind myself every morning who I was dealing with.

I love my charges and love being a nanny, too. I don't do this job for the parents - I do it for the kids. I would do anything for the kids - 110% every day - but I work to the letter of our agreement with my employers and not a stitch more.


These are the people that make me wonder why they chose to become nannies, probably because they heard it was easy. If you want a job where you won't be asked to do anything you didn't explicitly agree too then work an office job. You come in at X, you leave at Y, no mess no fuss. You can leave the Nannie jobs for those of us that really want to be nannies and enjoy integrating with a family and helping out and having a friendly relationship and enjoy the work.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2015 12:49     Subject: Re:Different rules for the nanny...
My MB is a very self-centered woman, too. And not just with me. I put up a post-it on my fridge that says "DO NOT OFFER, DO NOT AGREE" to remind myself every morning who I was dealing with.

I love my charges and love being a nanny, too. I don't do this job for the parents - I do it for the kids. I would do anything for the kids - 110% every day - but I work to the letter of our agreement with my employers and not a stitch more.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2015 12:45     Subject: Different rules for the nanny...
Anonymous wrote:Does your contract allow for a certain number of sick days? If so, then call out sick. Your boss has a back-up care plan in place, right?

I really don't get how other nanny families think these approaches are workable. You don't get to call the shots on when your employee is "sick enough" to use sick leave. She's allotted 5 days of sick leave a year and as long as she's sick, whether it's a 101 degree fever or food poisoning or just a bad sinus infection, she gets to use those days and have them paid off. You utilize your back-up care service. Once your nanny exceeds her allotted number of sick days, it moves to leave without pay or she can use her vacation time, and after a certain point, if she's absent too often, then you find some one else. But it's not my job to regulate her use of sick care - I don't think this is bad enough, wait til the next round strikes. Not my job. It's also not her job to come in with a fever & vomiting because I just had the same thing and find it inconvenient - my job is to have back up care in place to cover her 5 days of sick leave, and 2 weeks of vacation a year. That's it.


Sounds like OP does have paid sick days allotted but it doesn't seem like her MB had back-up care when her DH was out of town. And she wrote that she has never taken a sick day yet.

Her MB is a bitch. Try to rewrite in anyway that you want but I think that underlying truth is very real.

OP, I agree with the PP who posted about boundaries.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2015 12:21     Subject: Different rules for the nanny...
Does your contract allow for a certain number of sick days? If so, then call out sick. Your boss has a back-up care plan in place, right?

I really don't get how other nanny families think these approaches are workable. You don't get to call the shots on when your employee is "sick enough" to use sick leave. She's allotted 5 days of sick leave a year and as long as she's sick, whether it's a 101 degree fever or food poisoning or just a bad sinus infection, she gets to use those days and have them paid off. You utilize your back-up care service. Once your nanny exceeds her allotted number of sick days, it moves to leave without pay or she can use her vacation time, and after a certain point, if she's absent too often, then you find some one else. But it's not my job to regulate her use of sick care - I don't think this is bad enough, wait til the next round strikes. Not my job. It's also not her job to come in with a fever & vomiting because I just had the same thing and find it inconvenient - my job is to have back up care in place to cover her 5 days of sick leave, and 2 weeks of vacation a year. That's it.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2015 11:41     Subject: Different rules for the nanny...
The more times you've been around the block, the more you know what's out there. Sad, but true.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2015 11:34     Subject: Re:Different rules for the nanny...
You know who your MB is, now, OP. I don't think you need to quit -- just be very, very clear with your boundaries. Your MB is a narcissist and only thinks of herself and her needs. Remember that she wouldn't even rush to change clothes in order to let you off minutes early when you'd done her a huge favor and worked ill the next time she asks you for anything. Go the extra mile for your charge (as always) but do not do one thing beyond your job requirements for your MB.

Set your boundaries in stone.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2015 10:23     Subject: Re:Different rules for the nanny...
I agree that there are way too many frauds on this forum. Why would a woman who depends on a nanny for the care of her child or an actual nanny be so degrading of the profession? I just doesn't make sense.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2015 09:58     Subject: Different rules for the nanny...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Different rules, different jobs. MB has a professional job, nanny has a ... well nanny job.


MB couldn't have gone to her "professional job" without her nanny showing up to work sick. And I value the health and safety of my children entirely too much to put down the woman caring for them everyday. I'm saddened that you don't.


OP, I am sorry that you truly are working for a self-centered bitch. We all know women like your MB and it is ludicrous to pretend we don't.

Thank you, PP. We all LOVE you!


I have come to doubt that the majority of people posting on this forum are either working mothers who employ nannies or actual nannies. I would never talk about another human being - much less the woman who cares and loves my kids everyday - with the disrespect that so many posters seem to. Which makes me seriously doubt that most of you are MBs or nannies.


I generally agree, although my theory isn't that it's the majority of people on here who are the issue, but a handful of people with WAAAAY too much free time to spend pretending to be something they're not. Five or ten sad souls who are so prolific that it feels like 100 nasty posters to the rest of us.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2015 09:48     Subject: Different rules for the nanny...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Different rules, different jobs. MB has a professional job, nanny has a ... well nanny job.


MB couldn't have gone to her "professional job" without her nanny showing up to work sick. And I value the health and safety of my children entirely too much to put down the woman caring for them everyday. I'm saddened that you don't.


OP, I am sorry that you truly are working for a self-centered bitch. We all know women like your MB and it is ludicrous to pretend we don't.

Thank you, PP. We all LOVE you!


I have come to doubt that the majority of people posting on this forum are either working mothers who employ nannies or actual nannies. I would never talk about another human being - much less the woman who cares and loves my kids everyday - with the disrespect that so many posters seem to. Which makes me seriously doubt that most of you are MBs or nannies.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2015 09:45     Subject: Re:Different rules for the nanny...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Well, now you overplayed your hand, OP. Your MB isn't a bitch because she expects you to work until your end time. If she comes home at six and your end time is six thirty, she can do anything she wants during that half hour, change her clothes, check her email, watch TV. As long as she relieves you at your end time, she has done nothing wrong. She's paying you until 6:30, you should expect to work and be compensated until 6:30pm.

As for sick days, did you negotiate for paid sick days (or even unpaid sick days?)? If you responsibly negotiated and you and your NF have a policy around sick time, then honor it and call out when you're sick. Simple.

I find it hard to believe you went to a good college and spent time in the cushy office job world and don't know how to negotiate and take sick time.

Or maybe you just came to whine about your "problem" and whip up the mean MB hating nannies here.


Stop. Op here. I do have sick days and didn't take one yesterday because MB was in a bind and needed me. I have nothing to say to you if you don't think there is something wrong with a woman who wouldn't even let an employee go home fifteen minutes early when you know they are sick with an illness YOU gave her!


And it is never that simple. As I stated, MB was out for three days and DB was out of town. I did them a FAVOR by working yesterday.


Then why are you complaining? YOU chose to come in.


She is complaining because she has the right to complain. Her MB is a bitch and there is no way around it. I think it is really ridiculous that some of you want to find fault with the nanny.

We all do things for other people when we are given a "sob story". This nanny did her boss a favor -- a favor the boss NEVER SHOULD HAVE ASKED HER TO DO.

I agree with the other MB - just because someone become a mother it doesn't suddenly make them a saint or without fault. The MB in this case never should have guilted the nanny into working. And after guilting her into working, she most certainly should have relieved her fifteen minutes early.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2015 09:43     Subject: Different rules for the nanny...
9:11, do you ever think of others, and how you should treat them appropriately?
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2015 09:11     Subject: Re:Different rules for the nanny...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Well, now you overplayed your hand, OP. Your MB isn't a bitch because she expects you to work until your end time. If she comes home at six and your end time is six thirty, she can do anything she wants during that half hour, change her clothes, check her email, watch TV. As long as she relieves you at your end time, she has done nothing wrong. She's paying you until 6:30, you should expect to work and be compensated until 6:30pm.

As for sick days, did you negotiate for paid sick days (or even unpaid sick days?)? If you responsibly negotiated and you and your NF have a policy around sick time, then honor it and call out when you're sick. Simple.

I find it hard to believe you went to a good college and spent time in the cushy office job world and don't know how to negotiate and take sick time.

Or maybe you just came to whine about your "problem" and whip up the mean MB hating nannies here.


Stop. Op here. I do have sick days and didn't take one yesterday because MB was in a bind and needed me. I have nothing to say to you if you don't think there is something wrong with a woman who wouldn't even let an employee go home fifteen minutes early when you know they are sick with an illness YOU gave her!


And it is never that simple. As I stated, MB was out for three days and DB was out of town. I did them a FAVOR by working yesterday.


Then why are you complaining? YOU chose to come in.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2015 08:56     Subject: Different rules for the nanny...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Different rules, different jobs. MB has a professional job, nanny has a ... well nanny job.


MB couldn't have gone to her "professional job" without her nanny showing up to work sick. And I value the health and safety of my children entirely too much to put down the woman caring for them everyday. I'm saddened that you don't.


OP, I am sorry that you truly are working for a self-centered bitch. We all know women like your MB and it is ludicrous to pretend we don't.

Thank you, PP. We all LOVE you!
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2015 08:11     Subject: Different rules for the nanny...
Anonymous wrote:Different rules, different jobs. MB has a professional job, nanny has a ... well nanny job.


MB couldn't have gone to her "professional job" without her nanny showing up to work sick. And I value the health and safety of my children entirely too much to put down the woman caring for them everyday. I'm saddened that you don't.


OP, I am sorry that you truly are working for a self-centered bitch. We all know women like your MB and it is ludicrous to pretend we don't.