Anonymous
04/10/2015 15:58
Subject: Helicopter mom is driving me to quit
I hope op got herself a new job. That mother is crazy.
Anonymous
03/26/2015 20:49
Subject: Helicopter mom is driving me to quit
I don't think you need to quit. Try a few things first -- maybe it will get better.
If MB is so into routines, she sounds very rule-bound. Maybe setting up some guidelines for her would be possible or even appreciated. Can you tell her that you will be available to receive texts or talk with her on the phone at 10am, 1pm, and 3pm (or whatever)? Then don't look at your phone the other times if she texts. You are focusing on the baby at the other times, and you don't want to be constantly looking at the phone. And if there's a "schedule," then you can easily explain why you are busy at the other times!
Also set boundaries on when you can have the call to discuss the day. Maybe you are available at 5pm before leaving (or whenever you go) but not after 7pm. Or maybe schedule (since she loves them!) a time to talk on the phone each evening before you leave so she can count on it.
It sounds like she wants to trust you and leave it to you but is having trouble letting go. If you set up a routine for her to anticipate, maybe that will help her let go at the other times. Perhaps she's the one who needs predictability and scheduling more than the baby! Making her feel in control and knowledgeable may go a long way.
As for dealing with DB, are you there while he's there for a long period? I don't understand the dynamics. Once he gets home, aren't you leaving? I wouldn't get involved either and agree with what you did. It's a professional answer to give and the right one.
If MB is so into routines, she sounds very rule-bound. Maybe setting up some guidelines for her would be possible or even appreciated. Can you tell her that you will be available to receive texts or talk with her on the phone at 10am, 1pm, and 3pm (or whatever)? Then don't look at your phone the other times if she texts. You are focusing on the baby at the other times, and you don't want to be constantly looking at the phone. And if there's a "schedule," then you can easily explain why you are busy at the other times!
Also set boundaries on when you can have the call to discuss the day. Maybe you are available at 5pm before leaving (or whenever you go) but not after 7pm. Or maybe schedule (since she loves them!) a time to talk on the phone each evening before you leave so she can count on it.
It sounds like she wants to trust you and leave it to you but is having trouble letting go. If you set up a routine for her to anticipate, maybe that will help her let go at the other times. Perhaps she's the one who needs predictability and scheduling more than the baby! Making her feel in control and knowledgeable may go a long way.
As for dealing with DB, are you there while he's there for a long period? I don't understand the dynamics. Once he gets home, aren't you leaving? I wouldn't get involved either and agree with what you did. It's a professional answer to give and the right one.