Anonymous wrote:i have been working for my family for 7 years and i quit my job because the mother is treating me unfairly and making me feel worthless. i finally have the urge to step up and help the family especially the children to stop the screaming and the foul words that she uses at home. i gave my month notice to them already. did anybody know if i am eligible for long term bonus or anything when finish my job? please help

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB (not OP) here. While one week per year is a lovely idea, I wouldn't be able to afford an entire extra month of salary easily.

OP - What about two weeks of her net pay amount as a parting gift? This is skirting the taxable income piece a bit but might let you be more generous more easily.

The truth though, is that the fact that you're giving your nanny 6 months notice, combined with a week's salary, is already terrific. You have nothing to feel badly about.

Genenerosity and appreciation aren't for you, are they?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all of the thoughtful comments. Firstly, while the nanny arrangement was a formal one, our nanny became and will forever be a very special part of our family. I'm not concerned about the contract because it would be like sticking to a contract between myself and my mom. Weird, to say the least. We became very close and functioned like a family. Secondly, her last day will be August 1st, which she has known for a very long time. My child will begin Preschool, so it will be time to part ways then. That being said, she'll need a new position, but will always be a part of our family. She'll be invited to family celebrations and much as our flesh and blood family. I will also have the kids call her on a regular weekly basis- whatever happens naturally. So, I'm hoping to pay her one week's pay x 6 (one week for each year she was with us). does this sound okay?

That sounds great, OP. I am so glad your nanny will continue to be a part of your child's life for your child's sake.

Anonymous wrote:MB (not OP) here. While one week per year is a lovely idea, I wouldn't be able to afford an entire extra month of salary easily.

OP - What about two weeks of her net pay amount as a parting gift? This is skirting the taxable income piece a bit but might let you be more generous more easily.

The truth though, is that the fact that you're giving your nanny 6 months notice, combined with a week's salary, is already terrific. You have nothing to feel badly about.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all of the thoughtful comments. Firstly, while the nanny arrangement was a formal one, our nanny became and will forever be a very special part of our family. I'm not concerned about the contract because it would be like sticking to a contract between myself and my mom. Weird, to say the least. We became very close and functioned like a family. Secondly, her last day will be August 1st, which she has known for a very long time. My child will begin Preschool, so it will be time to part ways then. That being said, she'll need a new position, but will always be a part of our family. She'll be invited to family celebrations and much as our flesh and blood family. I will also have the kids call her on a regular weekly basis- whatever happens naturally. So, I'm hoping to pay her one week's pay x 6 (one week for each year she was with us). does this sound okay?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all of the thoughtful comments. Firstly, while the nanny arrangement was a formal one, our nanny became and will forever be a very special part of our family. I'm not concerned about the contract because it would be like sticking to a contract between myself and my mom. Weird, to say the least. We became very close and functioned like a family. Secondly, her last day will be August 1st, which she has known for a very long time. My child will begin Preschool, so it will be time to part ways then. That being said, she'll need a new position, but will always be a part of our family. She'll be invited to family celebrations and much as our flesh and blood family. I will also have the kids call her on a regular weekly basis- whatever happens naturally. So, I'm hoping to pay her one week's pay x 6 (one week for each year she was with us). does this sound okay?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all of the thoughtful comments. Firstly, while the nanny arrangement was a formal one, our nanny became and will forever be a very special part of our family. I'm not concerned about the contract because it would be like sticking to a contract between myself and my mom. Weird, to say the least. We became very close and functioned like a family. Secondly, her last day will be August 1st, which she has known for a very long time. My child will begin Preschool, so it will be time to part ways then. That being said, she'll need a new position, but will always be a part of our family. She'll be invited to family celebrations and much as our flesh and blood family. I will also have the kids call her on a regular weekly basis- whatever happens naturally. So, I'm hoping to pay her one week's pay x 6 (one week for each year she was with us). does this sound okay?

Anonymous wrote:My DD will be starting pre-k in the fall. We've had her excellent nanny since birth. The nanny knows that we'll be moving on to pre-k in September. What time of cash gift is appropriate for her? We paid in the mid-teens for her hourly wage. She's been excellent, so we need to pay her nicely. DH doesn't agree. He thinks a week's pay is sufficient. I think that is ridiculous. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please make sure your nanny has opportunities to see your daughter - birthday parties and/or evening babysitting. This will be so hard on your DD if the nanny is torn from her life and never heard from again.

I loved my nanny and she quit/was fired (I, to this day have never gotten the straight story and never heard my nanny's side) when I was six - I was devastated. My parents thought it would be easier for me to just never see or talk to her again but it was the opposite. I felt that I had done something so wrong to have made her leave.

Thank you sharing this. As a nanny, I wonder about the children I've lost contact with. I wish I knew they're doing well. I put 'my everything' into the love and care I provided them.

I wish parents had some understanding of this phenomenon.
Stability of care is so very important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please make sure your nanny has opportunities to see your daughter - birthday parties and/or evening babysitting. This will be so hard on your DD if the nanny is torn from her life and never heard from again.

I loved my nanny and she quit/was fired (I, to this day have never gotten the straight story and never heard my nanny's side) when I was six - I was devastated. My parents thought it would be easier for me to just never see or talk to her again but it was the opposite. I felt that I had done something so wrong to have made her leave.

+1 I had the same situation with my father's girlfriend from when I was between 4 and 8. When she and my Dad broke up, a child psychologist told them that it would be better if she didn't see or contact me. I was devastated. This woman was amazing, loving, funny and such a great influence on me. I found her again after I was an adult and we have established a wonderful relationship again. But I truly missed her when I was growing up even though I had loving parents.

I will never let a nanny simply walk out of my children's lives. It is cruel to the child.