Anonymous wrote:I should be grateful, but I feel jealous.

He obviously loves DH and I but he often will prefer our nanny. Sometimes I get so jealous I want to let her go and send DS to daycare but that's selfish and I know it's best for DS to keep her.

I know she probably won't ever have kids of her own so she's very mothering to DS but I have to bite my tongue sometimes.

That's fine, as long as it's not driven by her breaking house rules to befriend him (I.e. Allowimg more candy, too much tv, whatever he wants, no discipline).

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many of you say no one can replace the bio mom? It's done in adoptions all the time. If a child spends most of its waking hours with as caregiver then the child is bonded with that person and that person is more important.

Nonsense. A mother is the mother regardless of how the baby came to them (either birth or adoption). The nanny is not getting up in the middle of the night with the baby, the nanny does not have a room in their home and tells the child she is "going home" in the evenings so the child knows they do not share a home, the nanny is not a part of the family unit to the baby, all the books we read reference Mommy and Daddy - I have never actually seen nor read my charge a "nanny" book. It has nothing to do with biology - it has to do with being a mother or father.


To OP - your child SHOULD love and be bonded to his nanny. This is absolutely in the best interest of your son and ALL studies have come to the same conclusion. He must be made to feel that he is safe and cared for when Mommy and Daddy aren't there. His seeming preference for the nanny will come and go - it means nothing.

I am a nanny to a 16 month old boy (have been his nanny since his birth) and he is currently going thru a stage where he cries when I leave in the evening. It actually has nothing to do with me -- he simply sees me going outside without him and he always wants to go outside.

Why do so many of you say no one can replace the bio mom? It's done in adoptions all the time. If a child spends most of its waking hours with as caregiver then the child is bonded with that person and that person is more important.

Anonymous wrote:I should be grateful, but I feel jealous.

He obviously loves DH and I but he often will prefer our nanny. Sometimes I get so jealous I want to let her go and send DS to daycare but that's selfish and I know it's best for DS to keep her.

I know she probably won't ever have kids of her own so she's very mothering to DS but I have to bite my tongue sometimes.

Then you stay home with your kid! You are mean, selfish and ungrateful. you should be happy your child has someone who loves her.

It sounds like your nanny is worth her weight in gold OP.

Consider the alternative here.

You are truly blessed you have someone who truly loves your child.

You have the rare gift of being able to leave your home every single day to go to work w/piece of mind knowing that your child is in safe + loving hands. You know his needs, both physical AND emotional are being met plus he is thriving and content.

I see nothing criminal about this picture at all.

The more love your child has in his life, the better for him.

Love is one thing no one can ever have too much of.

I find it hard to believe OP is the MB.

Your DS does not prefer your nanny to you. He is simply going through a stage. All children go through a stage. Sometimes, mommy is the only person they attach to. Next week, it's daddy. Then, it is the nanny. If you are a parent, you roll with it and take the long view. You will be the preferred caregiver for years to come, long after he has outgrown his nanny.

Just be glad he has people in his life who love him and unclench.

If you're real, which I totally doubt.

Talk with other moms about your feelings.
Ignore the pps that are shaming you and being nasty.
What you are feeling is normal and you know what you need to do.
He is your baby and nothing can change that. He loves you and as pps mentioned affections change frequently with small children and it has to do with transitons and not your son loving your nanny more.