Anonymous wrote:If someone cares they are a neurotic micromanager. Kids are more important than cleaning messes. As long as I return to a home at night in the condition I left it, I don't care. If I return to a home cleaner than the way I left it, I acknowledge that in the form of spot bonuses.

+100 This. Agree that as long as its done at your day's end, it's fine.

I have been home with our nanny a few times or come home for lunch. She always puts DC down for his nap and then cleans, prepares food for him, starts his laundry, cleans his room and play area (Nanny has a thing about pieces of toys missing or lost and has to re-assemble them) THEN she has her lunch and often lies down on DC's floor to rest and stretch her back (I get it - DC is 30 pounds at only 16 months) for 20 minutes.
I think you might be happier cleaning first and then resting, having lunch.

OP, first and foremost I want to give you a huge pat on the back. You sound like an excellent nanny to me + you are doing a fantastic job overall. Keep up the good work. This family is blessed to have you as you are most definitely worth your weight in gold. You sound very efficient, engaged and responsible. Do not change a thing!!

I think you are truly overthinking this way too much. Unless your bosses are super anal or micromanagers, etc., I pretty much don't think your Dad Boss is even batting an eye when he gets home. As long as the finished product (a clean orderly home + a happy/well-rested child) are up to par when he returns, then I am sure all is good.

I do get what you mean however about the resting part. That would bother me too. I also care for a young child around that age & when he naps, I like to lie down as well for about 20 min. since I work a long day too. However, if the parent was in the home, I would feel really uncomfortable doing so because I wouldn't want them to view me as a slacker. Totally unfair.

Anonymous wrote:You care for ONE child, I'd be more concerned about your time management and ability to handle my child. I don't understand how you are unable to clean as you go. I'm sorry but unless that child has medical conditions than there isn't a reason for you to leaving the house a mess until nap time. Just clean as you go. I care for three children, all under 3 for 50 hours a week, if I can manage to clean as I go then you can too. If my employers popped in at random times during the day, all they would see is a clean house or me cleaning up, unless their was a poop exposition that happened right when they walked in. It's all about being prepared, set up art projects while the child is napping or eating a meal, have cleaning supplies ready and an alternative activity or just teach the child to help clean/ be patient. An 18 month is extremely intelligent, you don't need to baby them all day, teach them to help.

Now, what I'd be really concerned about is all the random pop ins by dad. Sounds like they don't trust you and are checking in.

I agree with this. I have just turned 2 year old triplet charges and they can mess up a room in no time flat! We play, do art projects, read books, etc.. but the house is never a complete disaster like you describe. We clean as we go and they always help me clean up.

If your charge is getting to the point where she is so cranky and hungry that she can't function, then that is an issue. Unless my girls are sick or have an unsual day where we are totally off schedule, then they never get to that point. If she is truly only sitting for 3 minutes for lunch, then that is your first issue right there. We take at least 30 minutes and often 45 minutes for each meal. Toddlers are busy, they should be eating a lot!

Also a 40 minute nap routine seems insane to me. Takes me about 15 mins to read 3 short stores, get everyone in bed and sing each girlie a song. Then I leave the room and they fall right asleep.

Ok, MB here, and, OP, you are taking this non-issue WAY too seriously... From your posts you are really concerned about it. I wouldn't care (I actually expect mess during the day), my DH honestly would not notice -- he doesn't see dishes in the sink unless he cooks... What I'm more concerned is that YOU apparently think it is an issue. I suggest that you mention this to MB: "We do so many fun things with Larla, and I know it is messy, so I clean up during her nap so that I can pay 100% attention to her when she is awake. You are OK with this approach, right?". Just to make you worry less... Really a non-issue.

If someone cares they are a neurotic micromanager. Kids are more important than cleaning messes. As long as I return to a home at night in the condition I left it, I don't care. If I return to a home cleaner than the way I left it, I acknowledge that in the form of spot bonuses.

I'd flip if I heard your answer to question two. Why on earth would you not be next to my child while she's eating? That is SO dangerous. My charge choked on a goldfish last week. I had to do the Heimlich. If I wasn't right next to her, who knows what couls have happened. She couldn't yell/cry for help while she's choking! That's like nanny 101!

My charge is high maintenance at nap as well, so I understand the dilemma. My nf allowed it to happen, so it is what it is. Once preschool begins , I'm pretty sure she'll nap almost instantly

If your charge is so tired and cranky by the time you get around to feeding get lunch, it sounds like you need to adjust your schedule and bump art time to another time. The trick is to not let her get to that "I'm so tired and hungry I'm completely out of my mind" point. And at her age she should certainly be sitting down to eat for longer than 3 minutes (I'm sure you're exaggerating, but still). I load the dishes while my charge (also 2) sits at the table and finishes his lunch. I clear the table once he's done while he's still strapped in his seat. It takes all of two minutes. And 40 mins to get your charge down for a nap? That's ridiculous and not at all practical. One or two stories, one song, a hug, and into the crib for nap time.

You care for ONE child, I'd be more concerned about your time management and ability to handle my child. I don't understand how you are unable to clean as you go. I'm sorry but unless that child has medical conditions than there isn't a reason for you to leaving the house a mess until nap time. Just clean as you go. I care for three children, all under 3 for 50 hours a week, if I can manage to clean as I go then you can too. If my employers popped in at random times during the day, all they would see is a clean house or me cleaning up, unless their was a poop exposition that happened right when they walked in. It's all about being prepared, set up art projects while the child is napping or eating a meal, have cleaning supplies ready and an alternative activity or just teach the child to help clean/ be patient. An 18 month is extremely intelligent, you don't need to baby them all day, teach them to help.

Now, what I'd be really concerned about is all the random pop ins by dad. Sounds like they don't trust you and are checking in.

food left out - bad. The rest is kinda OK, but I'd be wondering if you sit on your butt all day long and then just clean for 40 min before I come home in the evening...

Good heavens, I'd be more concerned about the extent to which you're overthinking it that I would be about anything you describe.

I've come home in the middle of the day to exactly the kind of mess you describe, but by the end of the day everything is totally orderly.

I couldn't care less. I know what a tornado my kids can be and I know our nanny always leaves things in order at the end of the day (unless something unusual happens.)

But you've been with them for two years and you're this anxious about something you're thinking up when they haven't said a word? Totally unnecessary. You've established your credibility - don't overthink it.

I'm sure it's all fine.

I bet that when the OP posted that the kitchen was a "disaster zone" - I bet it's just a bit messy. There is ONE child - so there is one cup, plate, and then another glass and plate from nanny's. And there is probably paint and paper or glue and random feathers or whatever on a newspaper on the kitchen table. So not a true disaster zone, just messy.

Doesn't sound like a disaster area - I just think YOU think it is. And that's fine - believe me, if it's all cleaned up I'm sure they are fine about it all.

Now, if you wanted to reorganize things to have the art project be earlier in the day so you could clean up while the 2 yr old is playing with something else, which would eventually lead into lunch time, fine. But don't mess with a system that works!

However, I would suggest that perhaps her lunch is too late if she can't sit for more than 3 minutes at lunch. (or was this an exaggeration, too, and just feels like 3 seconds, LOL?)

Perhaps you do lunch at 12noon sharp first. You sit with her and eat too, which slows things down, as you need to then get up and go get more milk vs standing next to her serving her..... and you can talk about your day, etc.

Then after lunch is cleaned up, an art project could happen before going down for a nap. 2 yr olds don't spend more time than 30 minutes on any art project, usually.

Also I believe it's more important that her art experiences are more sensory and process oriented (gluing, painting, ripping paper, gluing leaves you collect on paper, collecting rocks and then painting them, using trucks to drive through paint and then onto paper to make tracks, using thick, thin and in the middle sized brushes to make different types of marks and figure out which size works for what) than PRODUCT oriented, whereupon you would feel the need to make sure she created a beautiful product (sparkly pinecones or gluing eyes and nose onto a pumpkin shape in just the right places....) that is really about trying to create someone else's idea of art vs really experiencing, experimenting and having fun.

Working with children is exhausting - so are other jobs, and at other jobs the adults make time to take a break throughout the day - by walking over to the coffee maker to chat for a minute while getting coffee, going to the bathroom any time they wish, etc. A nanny sitting for 20 minutes to power her motor up before tackling the cleanup is fine!