Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 10:16     Subject: Why is this such a hard concept to understand?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Well for those who cannot successfully implement it, then need to use a daycare instead. You cannot rely on just ONE person and only ONE person for all of your child care needs at all times. It's just not possible for someone to be your only option ever and then worry about being fired if a relative of theirs dies suddenly or if they themselves land in the hospital.


If you find a "real" nanny, one of the good ones, the type that really love your children and you make feel like part of your family, they will be reliable and not feel "sick" all the time and have family members "die" every other month requiring a week off. Our nanny has never left us in a lurch on regularly scheduled work days in 3 years. Sure she isn't available at our beckon call, we ask her to babysit often and she usually isn't available, but for work days M-F she has never taken a sick day. She take a week of vacation (in one continuous block) every year and always gives us like 4-6 months notice of that. She get's another 2-3 weeks of paid vacation when we travel. So if you find an actual, professional, respectful nanny and treat her like a human being and a friend instead of an office drone you will see how awesome having a nanny can be.


I think that my nanny also fits this description.

She has called off in the past because she had to get an emergency surgery herself once, and her father was ill another time. Her husband texted me while they were waiting in the ER both times to let me know that she wasn't going to be at work the next day, so I was able to arrange care (and express my sympathy for my nanny, visit her in the hospital, etc.).
She didn't call at 7am, leaving me to scramble at the last minute, then tell me it was my responsibility to have back-up care.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:40     Subject: Re:Why is this such a hard concept to understand?
We also have no back-up care lined up and our nanny has never called in sick. If/when she does, either DH or I would have to call in sick and stay home. It is really not that big of a deal.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:38     Subject: Re:Why is this such a hard concept to understand?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have been working for my current family for over three years and have never called in sick. I've never been hit with anything more serious than a cold or stomach bug that I have contracted from my charge so there has not been an issue with spreading the illness. SAHM's work sick. I'm not at my best but I get the job done.

My employers would have to take off work if I ever did get terribly sick and they know this. They do not, and never have had, back-up care in place.

I don't understand why they don't have any nearby friends, neighbors or family who'd be able to help out when needed.


It depends on your definition of "needed". This nanny felt she could perform her basic duties when sick. I wish our nanny were this dedicated.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:23     Subject: Re:Why is this such a hard concept to understand?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have been working for my current family for over three years and have never called in sick. I've never been hit with anything more serious than a cold or stomach bug that I have contracted from my charge so there has not been an issue with spreading the illness. SAHM's work sick. I'm not at my best but I get the job done.

My employers would have to take off work if I ever did get terribly sick and they know this. They do not, and never have had, back-up care in place.

I don't understand why they don't have any nearby friends, neighbors or family who'd be able to help out when needed.



I can tell you why in my neighborhood. I was a SAHM and my single mom neighbor thought of me as her backup for her horridly behaved two children. She would send them over alone with a note, not asking, but telling me when she would be home, what and when to feed them, my food, no diapers. I called police after third time she did this. She never spoke to me again, thamk God!

Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:10     Subject: Re:Why is this such a hard concept to understand?
I posted about the special needs kid and not having back-up care. I never said I expect Nanny to NEVER be sick or have other engagments she must take care of (doctors appointments or family obligations.) Yes, I have a husband and yes we split time. We always tell her we will manage if she needs to be off and it is OK, but that doesn't change that it sucks. She called out once when I had an important doctors appointment. I took my kid with me. She called out the morning of. it totally sucked.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:01     Subject: Why is this such a hard concept to understand?
All of the excuses for why backup care is hard or expensive or whatever are just that- excuses. If you put yourself in the position of having to scramble when your nanny gets sick or needs to call out for whatever reason, then that is on you. Take responsibility for your own actions. MBs need to stop guilting and bitching at their nannies because THEY didn't do what they should have. Employees get sick and call out. It is no ones job but your own to deal with it when they do.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 08:44     Subject: Re:Why is this such a hard concept to understand?
Anonymous wrote:I have been working for my current family for over three years and have never called in sick. I've never been hit with anything more serious than a cold or stomach bug that I have contracted from my charge so there has not been an issue with spreading the illness. SAHM's work sick. I'm not at my best but I get the job done.

My employers would have to take off work if I ever did get terribly sick and they know this. They do not, and never have had, back-up care in place.

I don't understand why they don't have any nearby friends, neighbors or family who'd be able to help out when needed.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 07:48     Subject: Re:Why is this such a hard concept to understand?
I have been working for my current family for over three years and have never called in sick. I've never been hit with anything more serious than a cold or stomach bug that I have contracted from my charge so there has not been an issue with spreading the illness. SAHM's work sick. I'm not at my best but I get the job done.

My employers would have to take off work if I ever did get terribly sick and they know this. They do not, and never have had, back-up care in place.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 07:26     Subject: Why is this such a hard concept to understand?
Anonymous wrote:Well for those who cannot successfully implement it, then need to use a daycare instead. You cannot rely on just ONE person and only ONE person for all of your child care needs at all times. It's just not possible for someone to be your only option ever and then worry about being fired if a relative of theirs dies suddenly or if they themselves land in the hospital.


If you find a "real" nanny, one of the good ones, the type that really love your children and you make feel like part of your family, they will be reliable and not feel "sick" all the time and have family members "die" every other month requiring a week off. Our nanny has never left us in a lurch on regularly scheduled work days in 3 years. Sure she isn't available at our beckon call, we ask her to babysit often and she usually isn't available, but for work days M-F she has never taken a sick day. She take a week of vacation (in one continuous block) every year and always gives us like 4-6 months notice of that. She get's another 2-3 weeks of paid vacation when we travel. So if you find an actual, professional, respectful nanny and treat her like a human being and a friend instead of an office drone you will see how awesome having a nanny can be.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 06:36     Subject: Why is this such a hard concept to understand?
Anonymous wrote:Well for those who cannot successfully implement it, then need to use a daycare instead. You cannot rely on just ONE person and only ONE person for all of your child care needs at all times. It's just not possible for someone to be your only option ever and then worry about being fired if a relative of theirs dies suddenly or if they themselves land in the hospital.


This is ridiculous. I can only assume that you have never been the parent of a child in daycare. The HUGE problem with daycare is that kids can't go if they are sick. And they get sick there all. the. time. They also have limited hours, aren't open on weekends, and (except for the daycare at my previous hospital), close for snow days, holidays, and black outs.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 02:48     Subject: Why is this such a hard concept to understand?
I'm am mb, who has had only one nanny for more than three years now. I pay an annual membership fee to an agency I can (and do) use for back-up care. I also have a close friend who frequently can cover half days off or the occasional last minute need. My husband and I each save lots of vacation time to use for emergency coverage, late mornings, etc...

So I have several levels of contingency options and there is still almost nothing more stressful than last minute sick days, car problems, weather anxiety, etc...

Obviously a responsible parent will have back-up care but none of those things are easy to arrange at the last minute (like 8 am for the same day coverage) and none are foolproof.



Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 02:06     Subject: Why is this such a hard concept to understand?
I agree OP.

I hate it when I am stuck in bed w/a fever or the flu, and the worst part is not the affliction, but the feeling that I am putting my nanny family out and leaving them high & dry w/out childcare! Ugh.

ALL families should have a back-up childcare plan in place since everyone knows that nannies are human beings and fall ill just like any other human being on the planet.

And it doesn't hurt to remind everyone again that it is the nanny's family responsibility, not the nanny's responsibility to secure a back-up plan.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2015 20:39     Subject: Re:Why is this such a hard concept to understand?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

I think back up care can be a difficult thing to set up, even without other issues (such as special needs). Sure, you can have a person or two on call, but there are never any guarantees they won't be working for someone else or otherwise busy on any given day with little to no notice. Well, I guess you could hire someone to be on call, but that sounds crazy expensive. I live in a smaller town and there isn't anything that I know of like White House nannies here for emergency back up care. There are nanny agencies, yes, but the ones I am familiar with here only do long term placements.


+1


It isn't a difficult concept to understand, but it is one that is difficult to practically implement.


especially when you are told at 7AM day of.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2015 18:14     Subject: Why is this such a hard concept to understand?
IME, it's new parents who don't know how to train/manage a sitter. The last family that used me long hours (60+ each week), I created what they jokingly referred to as the "Owner's manual"--a binder with sections on the emergency contact info, medical history, food and an excruciatingly detailed walkthrough of their daily routine. I also helped them find and background check sitters and trained them.

If the parents a) don't do the routine regularly and b) have never had to train someone on childcare, they may just have no idea where to start.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2015 18:12     Subject: Why is this such a hard concept to understand?
Parents don't want to ask friends/family/neighbors for favors. Nor do they want to do favors for others, either.

They need to reconsider.