Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you find a job in one day? Were you already looking?

Maybe she was interviewing while she had the "flu" for 3 days.

I was noticing at all. A family that I babysit for regularly offered me the position considering they know me. Her mat leave is coming up. I was going to decline as I did another offer ( babysitting gig too) but not after this. I officially accepted this morning.

I honestly would have talked this out but MB badgered me there times with the same feelings he had after I clarified and told her how I felt and what I wanted. It was like an interrogation. After 3 times of the speech and me answering in between those times, she said it again when I was leaving. So I don't feel I can speak my mind given how she acted when trying to badger me with the same questions in a 10 minute conversation. She did the same again at the end of the day. Trust is broken and I feel uncomfortable in their home. There is no rectifying this for me.

Anonymous wrote:I can see both sides of this.
I can see how after 2 months of employment if someone didn't show up for 3 days of work saying they have the flu how they'd be concerned.
Not everyone is as honest as you, OP. they may have heard horror stories of dishonest nannies from their friends.
Not saying they were right, but I understand.

I can also understand how this would be your final straw on top of job creep after 2 months of employment and constantly having to stay late.

So, good luck with your new job.

Thoughtful response. Without knowing what these "extra duties" are and how "late is late," it sounds like you are looking for something else and this is just a bad match.
And it's not like nannies haven't hidden the truth or chosen to get defensive when questioned on odd behavior.
The best nanny we had was both good with the kids and good at communicating with and listening to us.

Anonymous wrote:I have already lined up a new position. I'm sure most say to just tell them " a better fit" but I want them to know exactly why I'm leaving. Being frustrated over me being sick ( even though I offered to go in) is one thing. To insinuate I was never sick and that I " don't like them" is the reason is too much. Calling my character into question and calling me a liar is not okay. I won't work for someone who thinks I'm a liar.

actions speak louder than words.
3 sick days, a maybe botched conversation with your employerr and then quitting (and having a new job already set up) speak quite loudly.
hope you find what you are truly looking for.

Anonymous wrote:How did you find a job in one day? Were you already looking?

Maybe she was interviewing while she had the "flu" for 3 days.

How did you find a job in one day? Were you already looking?

It seems like you're set on leaving so I'll save you the speech about talking to them first. I would definitely tell them you're leaving because mutual trust is extremely important to you. I could never work for someone who questioned why I called out sick. You care for their children and need them to trust what you say or it's not a good fit. It's dangerous for you if they don't completely trust what you say and you never know what they could accuse you of next. Cut your losses and get out now.

My advice:

Learn to speak up.

Yes, it's ok to do extra duties, but it shouldn't make you feel overwhelmed or resentful.
Repeated lateness is not ok.
After illness always get a doctor's note.

I can see both sides of this.
I can see how after 2 months of employment if someone didn't show up for 3 days of work saying they have the flu how they'd be concerned.
Not everyone is as honest as you, OP. they may have heard horror stories of dishonest nannies from their friends.
Not saying they were right, but I understand.

I can also understand how this would be your final straw on top of job creep after 2 months of employment and constantly having to stay late.

So, good luck with your new job.

Anonymous wrote:I have already lined up a new position. I'm sure most say to just tell them " a better fit" but I want them to know exactly why I'm leaving. Being frustrated over me being sick ( even though I offered to go in) is one thing. To insinuate I was never sick and that I " don't like them" is the reason is too much. Calling my character into question and calling me a liar is not okay. I won't work for someone who thinks I'm a liar.

I think given the context, the reason for your departure will be rather apparent. So you don't need to spell it out for them. They're already backtracking, saying how reliable you are, so they must have already realized that what they said was really off-putting. Just leave gracefully.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And I want to ask. Would you continue to work for a family who called your character into question? Insinuating that you weren't really sick and didnt show up because if another reason. Would you?

I would be upfront and tell them it is not in my character to do that and I take my role as a nanny seriously. I am thrilled being Larlo's nanny I'm disappointed you believed I would deceive you. As I said during inter view I firmly believe in trust and clear hones communication. I hope we can move past this. Missing days is truly rare for me I missed these days do to flu. Shall I provide you with a note from my physician? "

And go from there especially if like you said you liked the job
If I hates the job, I'd do as you did.

This very same situation could occur in your new job. How will you handle it?
Quitting every time there an awkward situation with MB/ DB ends up with a patchy resume.

Thank you for the advice. I would like to note that I have a great résumé with long-term families. This is the first time this situation has ever occurred and I would not add this to résumé anyway. I have a ton of long-term relationships and references to verify my work ethic. I no longer feel comfortable so I will be leaving.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have already lined up a new position. I'm sure most say to just tell them " a better fit" but I want them to know exactly why I'm leaving. Being frustrated over me being sick ( even though I offered to go in) is one thing. To insinuate I was never sick and that I " don't like them" is the reason is too much. Calling my character into question and calling me a liar is not okay. I won't work for someone who thinks I'm a liar.

No do not tell them exactly why your leaving that's a bridge you do not want to burn. You may not work for them again , but you never know who they know. Trust when I say , they will not take it as you being informative but as you lecturing the and having a tantrum .
Take the good advice given you and move on to your next job.

'
Yes this. Totally. It's a strangely small world OP - take the high road. Don't feed your outrage at the expense (potentially) of your professional reputation. Just be glad you have other options and you can move on easily. Let go of the emotion behind it and just move on without trying to make some big point with them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like 23:17's advice but I'd tell them in person and hand them a hard copy of a letter instead of emailing it to them. They shouldn't have to find out via email, but of course you do want to document in writing your departure plan. I'd try to give them two weeks notice.

I'm definitely telling them in person on Friday. I'm not going hide behind an email. I feel do uncomfortable working with them now knowing they think I'm a liar and think so negatively of me. I loved going to work every morning and I dreaded going in so much today. I can't wait to leave this job. This really sucks because I intitially really liked them.

You don't have to quit. You could have told of your feelings as soon as it happened and maybe worked it out. You chose to quit You could have said something like " Dana and Adam I appreciate working for you and caring for Zoe. Never in my career have I falsely taken a day off, and I do not intend to now.My job and reputation are very important to me. I have enjoyed my days here and I hope to be here a longtime, for that to happen we need to communicate and trust each other. If there is something I'm doing that bothers you let me know

But since you have new job and want to quit leave gracefully and not telling them off

Anonymous wrote:And I want to ask. Would you continue to work for a family who called your character into question? Insinuating that you weren't really sick and didnt show up because if another reason. Would you?

I would be upfront and tell them it is not in my character to do that and I take my role as a nanny seriously. I am thrilled being Larlo's nanny I'm disappointed you believed I would deceive you. As I said during inter view I firmly believe in trust and clear hones communication. I hope we can move past this. Missing days is truly rare for me I missed these days do to flu. Shall I provide you with a note from my physician? "

And go from there especially if like you said you liked the job
If I hates the job, I'd do as you did.

This very same situation could occur in your new job. How will you handle it?
Quitting every time there an awkward situation with MB/ DB ends up with a patchy resume.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like 23:17's advice but I'd tell them in person and hand them a hard copy of a letter instead of emailing it to them. They shouldn't have to find out via email, but of course you do want to document in writing your departure plan. I'd try to give them two weeks notice.

I'm definitely telling them in person on Friday. I'm not going hide behind an email. I feel do uncomfortable working with them now knowing they think I'm a liar and think so negatively of me. I loved going to work every morning and I dreaded going in so much today. I can't wait to leave this job. This really sucks because I intitially really liked them.

You don't have to quit. You could have told of your feelings as soon as it happened and maybe worked it out. You chose to quit You could have said something like " Dana and Adam I appreciate working for you and caring for Zoe. Never in my career have I falsely taken a day off, and I do not intend to now.My job and reputation are very important to me. I have enjoyed my days here and I hope to be here a longtime, for that to happen we need to communicate and trust each other. If there is something I'm doing that bothers you let me know

Just tell them you found a position that's a better fit
Of they seem surprised just tell them you felt like they had some trust issues with you. I'd be direct, but only if they ask.