Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the problem is the numerous inane and petty threads posted again and again. It's just one dumb question after another.

"I need to take a day off to see a doctor so I don't die, is this ok?"

"I

The list goes on and on and on and on.

First of all, huge exaggerations there.

Second, so? All forums have some amount of inanity. Does that give you an excuse to be rude, or nasty? How does it feel? Because kind humans don't speak to others that way, even anon.

Third, many of the nasty remarks have been about normal nanny issues, like guaranteed hours.

Fourth, you can call out inanity without being a jerk.

This one is ironic as well.

I'm the OP, and I wasn't attempting to fan the flames or be ironic. I would like this forum to at least be what it was last summer. There's always been shitty posters and there always will be, but as of late, it's been so bad, Jeff even had to come in and clean up one posting about Indian bosses because of the outright hatred. I read other sections of DCuM and it's not as nasty as it has become here, of late.
I have really honest intentions. I wanted to ask for some very serious, heartfelt advice but I'm not sure it's worth it anymore. But I can't post on the general parenting forum. I'm stuck here with a few decent folks over run by some trolls.

hahaha, riiiiight.

DCUM is a joke and it's not actually a good resource. It's quite misleading with inaccurate, exaggerated information (if you can call it that).
We got much better and valid market intel from speaking with colleagues, neighbors, agencies and other online sites than anonymous DCUM. New York City friends were most helpful at nanny terms, contract clauses, ways to structure things and how to communicate up front when interviewing. I wouldn't waste time with any of the nanny posters on DCUM.

As for the petty mean girl comments, and obvious repeat posters having conversations with themselves, it just makes DCUM more of a joke and gives English-writing nannies a poor rep.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know exactly what you mean. For what's it worth I think it's only a handful of people who constantly post hurtful stupid shit just to stir trouble, but it does make for unpleasant reading. The first time I got a bunch of really mean replies to a perfectly innocuous question I was rather discouraged, but I seem to have grown a thicker skin since and am able to just focus on the thoughtful replies, of which there are still plenty.

What I also find annoying is that basically all threads are derailed into bickering that has nothing to do with the original topic, so it's hard to find relevant info in four pages of 'nannies are lazy/MB's are incapable shrews'. And it's terrible when positive posts turn into shit storms of hate. I come on to tell everything what a lovely MB I have and instead of congrats and me too's I get 'you're probably stupid/underpaid/they secretly hate you'... why? People are often mean anonymously.

Can we turn non-anonymous, Jeff?

You are the one ruining the forum posting stupid bragging posts of "My MB is so awesome, she was late but brought me a Starbucks!" or "I have the best nanny because she got a book from the library for my son!"

It's hard to find info and answers among all your garbage.

OP, I know exactly what you mean. For what's it worth I think it's only a handful of people who constantly post hurtful stupid shit just to stir trouble, but it does make for unpleasant reading. The first time I got a bunch of really mean replies to a perfectly innocuous question I was rather discouraged, but I seem to have grown a thicker skin since and am able to just focus on the thoughtful replies, of which there are still plenty.

What I also find annoying is that basically all threads are derailed into bickering that has nothing to do with the original topic, so it's hard to find relevant info in four pages of 'nannies are lazy/MB's are incapable shrews'. And it's terrible when positive posts turn into shit storms of hate. I come on to tell everything what a lovely MB I have and instead of congrats and me too's I get 'you're probably stupid/underpaid/they secretly hate you'... why? People are often mean anonymously.

Can we turn non-anonymous, Jeff?

This is the Op. I have not commented since yesterday. How this thread ended up is not what I was asking. I pointed no fingers at MB's or nannies. I have no war with anyone. My bosses over the past years have been good to me and I'm not here to complain or talk about parents or say negative things. Before I was a nanny, I was a chef and business owner, along with being a mother, and I know what hard work working and children are. Do not drag me into the nanny/Mb war.

I wanted to know why there is someone/someones poisoning the forum with extra vitriol lately. It's picked up over the past months and it's especially aimed at telling nannies they are no better than burger flippers or mothers that they suck. I'm a working mom, working 3 jobs just to support my teenage daughter and I, and when you are struggling just to keep your head above water, you don't have energy to troll the internet. I'm sick of weeding through the fighting.

That's all. Sorry for ranting, exhausted today.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you on this OP.

It seems there is a very strong division on here between the MomBosses vs. the Nannies and I see much of the debating over salaries.

I think a lot of the people on here are having issues in their own lives and instead of talking directly to the people in real life, they instead come on this forum and take out some of their anger and frustration out on the posters on here which can be quite unfair.

I think MomBosses and Nannies should all work together, but I guess there is too much of a conflict of interest here. I personally do not think so, but think of it like the Rep. vs. the Democrats. Big conflicts of interests even though the main focus should be on running an efficient government that works well for ALL people. Same for MBs and Nannies....The main focus should be on raising and caring for a precious child.

This is the problem a lot of MBs have. In the grand scheme of things is your job the most important thing in life to you? Are your children? What is the most important part of your job to you?

This is a job, albeit an important one, but a job nonetheless. We do it for money, and it becomes even more about the money the more we get the impression that we are expected to devote our lives to our families and expect nothing in return. MBs are super quick to treat us like mere disposable employees when convenient, and at other times we are doing the most important job in the world. It's hard for both sides to reconcile these ideas, but MBs are truly the ones with the most at stake. Treat your nanny like the person who has essentially volunteered to love your kid (because you do not pay her what the job is worth, just like teachers, nurses, and other undervalued jobs) and not a commodity you milk for all its worth, and you can avoid so many of the problems posted here.

Be serious please. Nannies are way more than fairly compensated. The only reason anyone gets a nanny is so they can work a job and make more money than what would go to the nanny. We aren't hiring nannies because they are so amazing, experienced, magical, etc. I could do the nannies job 10x better then her even though I am a first time mom and she has been doing this a while, but that doesn't make her job worth some astronomical amount. Nannies are just babysitters and part-time housecleaners and really their compensation should max out at around $15 an hour with 10+ years experience and it kind of disgusts me that some nannies are demanding $20+ an hour right out of college.

1) I'm sorry you think so little of your own children. I hired a nanny to teach and nurture my children.

2) THE FREE MARKET. If a nanny or anyone else right out of college can command $50 an hour - who are you to say they are overpaid? We are all paid what the market dictates.

I said demand not command. Don't you see all the nannies on here asking for so much and wondering why they can't find a job??

IMO the best option is to ignore the posts you don't like and focus on the nice ones.

I get my kid care advice from childcare magazines, books, and free parenting lectures in my area.

If you are looking for companionship use Meet up.com or make friends with the other nannies in your area.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you on this OP.

It seems there is a very strong division on here between the MomBosses vs. the Nannies and I see much of the debating over salaries.

I think a lot of the people on here are having issues in their own lives and instead of talking directly to the people in real life, they instead come on this forum and take out some of their anger and frustration out on the posters on here which can be quite unfair.

I think MomBosses and Nannies should all work together, but I guess there is too much of a conflict of interest here. I personally do not think so, but think of it like the Rep. vs. the Democrats. Big conflicts of interests even though the main focus should be on running an efficient government that works well for ALL people. Same for MBs and Nannies....The main focus should be on raising and caring for a precious child.

This is the problem a lot of MBs have. In the grand scheme of things is your job the most important thing in life to you? Are your children? What is the most important part of your job to you?

This is a job, albeit an important one, but a job nonetheless. We do it for money, and it becomes even more about the money the more we get the impression that we are expected to devote our lives to our families and expect nothing in return. MBs are super quick to treat us like mere disposable employees when convenient, and at other times we are doing the most important job in the world. It's hard for both sides to reconcile these ideas, but MBs are truly the ones with the most at stake. Treat your nanny like the person who has essentially volunteered to love your kid (because you do not pay her what the job is worth, just like teachers, nurses, and other undervalued jobs) and not a commodity you milk for all its worth, and you can avoid so many of the problems posted here.

Maybe someday you will have kids. And maybe you'll have the ability to stay home with your child(ren). Or maybe you won't and you will have to find a way to earn a living and support your family, while finding care for your kid(s).

I hope, that if you find yourself in the latter position, you will be met with less judgment and more support from the people in your world than you are showing to working mothers here.

And maybe one day you won't be so ignorant? I am a working mother, just like you. My kid is cared for by her grandmothers, for whom it IS more than a job. It is stupid to think some stranger off the street cares nearly as much about your family as you do. Nannies and MBs do NOT have the same purpose here. If I hired someone to do that job, I would recognize that it is how they make their living, not their life, and I would be incredibly thankful if I was lucky enough to have someone who did the best they could each day. I would not try to find the cheapest possible solution, and then expect that person to give me their all, and devote themselves to my kid.

Sigh.

Well, there you go - proving the OP's point.

You don't get to be a condescending ass, then sit back and pretend that I am the one being nasty. This board is poisonous because it is full of poisonous entitled women, nannies and MBs alike. I do not see that changing OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you on this OP.

It seems there is a very strong division on here between the MomBosses vs. the Nannies and I see much of the debating over salaries.

I think a lot of the people on here are having issues in their own lives and instead of talking directly to the people in real life, they instead come on this forum and take out some of their anger and frustration out on the posters on here which can be quite unfair.

I think MomBosses and Nannies should all work together, but I guess there is too much of a conflict of interest here. I personally do not think so, but think of it like the Rep. vs. the Democrats. Big conflicts of interests even though the main focus should be on running an efficient government that works well for ALL people. Same for MBs and Nannies....The main focus should be on raising and caring for a precious child.

This is the problem a lot of MBs have. In the grand scheme of things is your job the most important thing in life to you? Are your children? What is the most important part of your job to you?

This is a job, albeit an important one, but a job nonetheless. We do it for money, and it becomes even more about the money the more we get the impression that we are expected to devote our lives to our families and expect nothing in return. MBs are super quick to treat us like mere disposable employees when convenient, and at other times we are doing the most important job in the world. It's hard for both sides to reconcile these ideas, but MBs are truly the ones with the most at stake. Treat your nanny like the person who has essentially volunteered to love your kid (because you do not pay her what the job is worth, just like teachers, nurses, and other undervalued jobs) and not a commodity you milk for all its worth, and you can avoid so many of the problems posted here.

Maybe someday you will have kids. And maybe you'll have the ability to stay home with your child(ren). Or maybe you won't and you will have to find a way to earn a living and support your family, while finding care for your kid(s).

I hope, that if you find yourself in the latter position, you will be met with less judgment and more support from the people in your world than you are showing to working mothers here.

And maybe one day you won't be so ignorant? I am a working mother, just like you. My kid is cared for by her grandmothers, for whom it IS more than a job. It is stupid to think some stranger off the street cares nearly as much about your family as you do. Nannies and MBs do NOT have the same purpose here. If I hired someone to do that job, I would recognize that it is how they make their living, not their life, and I would be incredibly thankful if I was lucky enough to have someone who did the best they could each day. I would not try to find the cheapest possible solution, and then expect that person to give me their all, and devote themselves to my kid.

Sigh.

Well, there you go - proving the OP's point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you on this OP.

It seems there is a very strong division on here between the MomBosses vs. the Nannies and I see much of the debating over salaries.

I think a lot of the people on here are having issues in their own lives and instead of talking directly to the people in real life, they instead come on this forum and take out some of their anger and frustration out on the posters on here which can be quite unfair.

I think MomBosses and Nannies should all work together, but I guess there is too much of a conflict of interest here. I personally do not think so, but think of it like the Rep. vs. the Democrats. Big conflicts of interests even though the main focus should be on running an efficient government that works well for ALL people. Same for MBs and Nannies....The main focus should be on raising and caring for a precious child.

This is the problem a lot of MBs have. In the grand scheme of things is your job the most important thing in life to you? Are your children? What is the most important part of your job to you?

This is a job, albeit an important one, but a job nonetheless. We do it for money, and it becomes even more about the money the more we get the impression that we are expected to devote our lives to our families and expect nothing in return. MBs are super quick to treat us like mere disposable employees when convenient, and at other times we are doing the most important job in the world. It's hard for both sides to reconcile these ideas, but MBs are truly the ones with the most at stake. Treat your nanny like the person who has essentially volunteered to love your kid (because you do not pay her what the job is worth, just like teachers, nurses, and other undervalued jobs) and not a commodity you milk for all its worth, and you can avoid so many of the problems posted here.

Maybe someday you will have kids. And maybe you'll have the ability to stay home with your child(ren). Or maybe you won't and you will have to find a way to earn a living and support your family, while finding care for your kid(s).

I hope, that if you find yourself in the latter position, you will be met with less judgment and more support from the people in your world than you are showing to working mothers here.

And maybe one day you won't be so ignorant? I am a working mother, just like you. My kid is cared for by her grandmothers, for whom it IS more than a job. It is stupid to think some stranger off the street cares nearly as much about your family as you do. Nannies and MBs do NOT have the same purpose here. If I hired someone to do that job, I would recognize that it is how they make their living, not their life, and I would be incredibly thankful if I was lucky enough to have someone who did the best they could each day. I would not try to find the cheapest possible solution, and then expect that person to give me their all, and devote themselves to my kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you on this OP.

It seems there is a very strong division on here between the MomBosses vs. the Nannies and I see much of the debating over salaries.

I think a lot of the people on here are having issues in their own lives and instead of talking directly to the people in real life, they instead come on this forum and take out some of their anger and frustration out on the posters on here which can be quite unfair.

I think MomBosses and Nannies should all work together, but I guess there is too much of a conflict of interest here. I personally do not think so, but think of it like the Rep. vs. the Democrats. Big conflicts of interests even though the main focus should be on running an efficient government that works well for ALL people. Same for MBs and Nannies....The main focus should be on raising and caring for a precious child.

This is the problem a lot of MBs have. In the grand scheme of things is your job the most important thing in life to you? Are your children? What is the most important part of your job to you?

This is a job, albeit an important one, but a job nonetheless. We do it for money, and it becomes even more about the money the more we get the impression that we are expected to devote our lives to our families and expect nothing in return. MBs are super quick to treat us like mere disposable employees when convenient, and at other times we are doing the most important job in the world. It's hard for both sides to reconcile these ideas, but MBs are truly the ones with the most at stake. Treat your nanny like the person who has essentially volunteered to love your kid (because you do not pay her what the job is worth, just like teachers, nurses, and other undervalued jobs) and not a commodity you milk for all its worth, and you can avoid so many of the problems posted here.

Maybe someday you will have kids. And maybe you'll have the ability to stay home with your child(ren). Or maybe you won't and you will have to find a way to earn a living and support your family, while finding care for your kid(s).

I hope, that if you find yourself in the latter position, you will be met with less judgment and more support from the people in your world than you are showing to working mothers here.

I actually like hearing from the ugly, bitter mother-employers. Make me look all the better to my kid's nanny!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you on this OP.

It seems there is a very strong division on here between the MomBosses vs. the Nannies and I see much of the debating over salaries.

I think a lot of the people on here are having issues in their own lives and instead of talking directly to the people in real life, they instead come on this forum and take out some of their anger and frustration out on the posters on here which can be quite unfair.

I think MomBosses and Nannies should all work together, but I guess there is too much of a conflict of interest here. I personally do not think so, but think of it like the Rep. vs. the Democrats. Big conflicts of interests even though the main focus should be on running an efficient government that works well for ALL people. Same for MBs and Nannies....The main focus should be on raising and caring for a precious child.

This is the problem a lot of MBs have. In the grand scheme of things is your job the most important thing in life to you? Are your children? What is the most important part of your job to you?

This is a job, albeit an important one, but a job nonetheless. We do it for money, and it becomes even more about the money the more we get the impression that we are expected to devote our lives to our families and expect nothing in return. MBs are super quick to treat us like mere disposable employees when convenient, and at other times we are doing the most important job in the world. It's hard for both sides to reconcile these ideas, but MBs are truly the ones with the most at stake. Treat your nanny like the person who has essentially volunteered to love your kid (because you do not pay her what the job is worth, just like teachers, nurses, and other undervalued jobs) and not a commodity you milk for all its worth, and you can avoid so many of the problems posted here.

Be serious please. Nannies are way more than fairly compensated. The only reason anyone gets a nanny is so they can work a job and make more money than what would go to the nanny. We aren't hiring nannies because they are so amazing, experienced, magical, etc. I could do the nannies job 10x better then her even though I am a first time mom and she has been doing this a while, but that doesn't make her job worth some astronomical amount. Nannies are just babysitters and part-time housecleaners and really their compensation should max out at around $15 an hour with 10+ years experience and it kind of disgusts me that some nannies are demanding $20+ an hour right out of college.

1) I'm sorry you think so little of your own children. I hired a nanny to teach and nurture my children.

2) THE FREE MARKET. If a nanny or anyone else right out of college can command $50 an hour - who are you to say they are overpaid? We are all paid what the market dictates.

In spite of the one or two obvious trolls and the one poster who has children but has never employed a nanny (and only comes here to tell nannies how lazy they are), I have gotten some good advice on this thread. I do wish there were a way to only access this forum to people who are nannies or employ nannies but there isn't.

I ignore the sad, bitter posters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you on this OP.

It seems there is a very strong division on here between the MomBosses vs. the Nannies and I see much of the debating over salaries.

I think a lot of the people on here are having issues in their own lives and instead of talking directly to the people in real life, they instead come on this forum and take out some of their anger and frustration out on the posters on here which can be quite unfair.

I think MomBosses and Nannies should all work together, but I guess there is too much of a conflict of interest here. I personally do not think so, but think of it like the Rep. vs. the Democrats. Big conflicts of interests even though the main focus should be on running an efficient government that works well for ALL people. Same for MBs and Nannies....The main focus should be on raising and caring for a precious child.

This is the problem a lot of MBs have. In the grand scheme of things is your job the most important thing in life to you? Are your children? What is the most important part of your job to you?

This is a job, albeit an important one, but a job nonetheless. We do it for money, and it becomes even more about the money the more we get the impression that we are expected to devote our lives to our families and expect nothing in return. MBs are super quick to treat us like mere disposable employees when convenient, and at other times we are doing the most important job in the world. It's hard for both sides to reconcile these ideas, but MBs are truly the ones with the most at stake. Treat your nanny like the person who has essentially volunteered to love your kid (because you do not pay her what the job is worth, just like teachers, nurses, and other undervalued jobs) and not a commodity you milk for all its worth, and you can avoid so many of the problems posted here.

Be serious please. Nannies are way more than fairly compensated. The only reason anyone gets a nanny is so they can work a job and make more money than what would go to the nanny. We aren't hiring nannies because they are so amazing, experienced, magical, etc. I could do the nannies job 10x better then her even though I am a first time mom and she has been doing this a while, but that doesn't make her job worth some astronomical amount. Nannies are just babysitters and part-time housecleaners and really their compensation should max out at around $15 an hour with 10+ years experience and it kind of disgusts me that some nannies are demanding $20+ an hour right out of college.

Go. Away. Crazy. You are part of the problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you on this OP.

It seems there is a very strong division on here between the MomBosses vs. the Nannies and I see much of the debating over salaries.

I think a lot of the people on here are having issues in their own lives and instead of talking directly to the people in real life, they instead come on this forum and take out some of their anger and frustration out on the posters on here which can be quite unfair.

I think MomBosses and Nannies should all work together, but I guess there is too much of a conflict of interest here. I personally do not think so, but think of it like the Rep. vs. the Democrats. Big conflicts of interests even though the main focus should be on running an efficient government that works well for ALL people. Same for MBs and Nannies....The main focus should be on raising and caring for a precious child.

This is the problem a lot of MBs have. In the grand scheme of things is your job the most important thing in life to you? Are your children? What is the most important part of your job to you?

This is a job, albeit an important one, but a job nonetheless. We do it for money, and it becomes even more about the money the more we get the impression that we are expected to devote our lives to our families and expect nothing in return. MBs are super quick to treat us like mere disposable employees when convenient, and at other times we are doing the most important job in the world. It's hard for both sides to reconcile these ideas, but MBs are truly the ones with the most at stake. Treat your nanny like the person who has essentially volunteered to love your kid (because you do not pay her what the job is worth, just like teachers, nurses, and other undervalued jobs) and not a commodity you milk for all its worth, and you can avoid so many of the problems posted here.

Be serious please. Nannies are way more than fairly compensated. The only reason anyone gets a nanny is so they can work a job and make more money than what would go to the nanny. We aren't hiring nannies because they are so amazing, experienced, magical, etc. I could do the nannies job 10x better then her even though I am a first time mom and she has been doing this a while, but that doesn't make her job worth some astronomical amount. Nannies are just babysitters and part-time housecleaners and really their compensation should max out at around $15 an hour with 10+ years experience and it kind of disgusts me that some nannies are demanding $20+ an hour right out of college.