Well it looks to me as if she is already gainfully employed and already has a family that she is happily working for so if you were to step in and make her a job offer knowing this, it would be wrong of you to infringe.

Kinda like being the "other woman" in a marriage.

Like you know the status quo, yet you still upset it because you want what you want.

Let me add that in the corporate world, poaching wouldn't even be given a second thought. Poaching a nanny is unforgivable but no one days the same about poaching am employee at a rival company.

I'm a nanny that has been poached several times. Most parents think I'm a young mother rather than a nanny because I am so involved and attentive with my infant charge. As soon as they realize I was a nanny, I had offers from either them or someone they knew looking for a nanny. I will say it was very flattering and I was never offended. However, I loved my position and would not leave, no matter how good the pay. Unfortunately I received am amazing offer that I turned down only to have those employers give me notice a week later. The dad got poached from a rival company and they moved out of state.

I do believe that a nanny has the right to choose who she works for. Poaching is always going on in the corporate world. A nanny is entitled to decline or accept whatever she feels is best. She is not owned or tied to a family. She has to look out for herself, just like many employers look out for themselves.

I would casually bring it up. She may be interested of knows someone who is. It's with a shot.

If she will leave her current family for you, I would worry if someone gave her a better offer would she leave again.

Just mention it to her and give the job details as previous poster said, she definitely should have the chance to entertain other offers.

I'm a nanny and have been approached by other parents a couple times. I never left my current job because I'm very attached to my charge and happy overall. It was flattering, though, that someone else noticed my work!

Anonymous wrote:I know that a couple of my past employers didn't take kindly to this.

Duh.

Hope you still gave your 4 week notice and honored it.

Anonymous wrote:I have the great luxury of staying home with DD for her first year but will return to work in April. All this past year I would see a wonderful nanny with a baby a bit older than mine. She was always smiling, always engaging him and always talking to him. She has things scheduled for him every morning (the same things that I do for my baby) and always seems so happy. I have never seen her on her phone and she never takes her eyes off her charge. Basically, she is everything I would ever hope to have in a nanny.

I mentioned approaching her with a job offer and my SIL and other mother friends acted like I asked to sleep with their husbands! I was told that we NEVER try to poach someone's nanny.

I do not understand this. Shouldn't it be up to the nanny to decide on her best job options and know about other opportunities?

Nanny troll posting.

Anonymous wrote:Oh come on. Nannies look out for their best interest and as well they should. People get better offers all the time in the marketplace when potential employers get to observe them working for someone else and doing a good job, or getting a reputation for themselves. How do you think recruiters work? It's the nanny's career to manage. Not her employers'. They don't own her.

Mind you, I wouldn't have done it to a friend or a relative, but if the nanny is working for a random someone, it's completely legitimate. She can always say no.

OP is asking why her SIL and other mom friends had such a negative reaction. You also confirm you wouldn't do this to a friend or relative. It's not nice and shows poor character. Of course a nanny can do whatever is in his/her best interest but the poaching MB will pay a price socially.

MB here. If you take my nanny I have an issue with you. If you hire the nanny from someone I don't know - good for you.

As a few folks have said, be gracious about it and say you're looking for a nanny and have admired her style and wonder if she knows anyone who might be looking.

Don't forget that you don't know eveyrthing about this nanny, and what matters to you, simply from observing her.

Maybe she's chronically late. Maybe she refuses to do any laundry or dishes for the kid. Maybe she won't like something about you/your family/your household. Maybe she doesn't drive and that will become important for you. Maybe she's terrible at communicating with the parents. Maybe she's incredibly superior and always making the mother feel incompetent.

Or - maybe she really is the absolute dream nanny. But you still have to go through a full, diligent interviewing and hiring process. You need to see several candidates so you can fully evaluate your options and hopefully find the best fit for you. So approach this nanny as one entry point for finding candidates - not as someone you're automatically trying to hire.

I agree that any nanny has a right to keep his/her options open and find a better position - just as any other professional in a market place has that right.

Oh come on. Nannies look out for their best interest and as well they should. People get better offers all the time in the marketplace when potential employers get to observe them working for someone else and doing a good job, or getting a reputation for themselves. How do you think recruiters work? It's the nanny's career to manage. Not her employers'. They don't own her.

Mind you, I wouldn't have done it to a friend or a relative, but if the nanny is working for a random someone, it's completely legitimate. She can always say no.

nannydebsays wrote:Don't poach, just talk to the nanny, tell her you really love how committed she is to her charge, and ask her if she knows of anyone in her nanny circle looking for a FT job in the next few months.

If she is happy and content in her position, she may actually be able to connect you with a nanny like her. If she is not content, then she can take the lead and ask YOU what you need and what you are offering.

Well, that's really not much different than directly poaching. It's just doing it in a more subtle way.

Don't poach, just talk to the nanny, tell her you really love how committed she is to her charge, and ask her if she knows of anyone in her nanny circle looking for a FT job in the next few months.

If she is happy and content in her position, she may actually be able to connect you with a nanny like her. If she is not content, then she can take the lead and ask YOU what you need and what you are offering.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is nanny poaching. Unless you know the nanny is actively searching, you are basically trying to steal her away from her current position.

You can however, ask her about her work experience and tips for finding a nanny similar to her.

Every smart nanny employer does what she can to get the best nanny.

If you're paying your nanny appropriately and treating her like gold, you should have nothing to fear.

Top notch nannies are hard to come by.

You again.

A nanny I employed for a year told me that another employer had expressed an interest in hiring her after seeing her with my twins and was willing to pay her more. I told her we could not afford an increase but released her from our contract to work for this other family and fortunately found a replacement in two weeks of an intensive search. It turns out that the new family was a nightmare to work for and the nanny asked to come back a month later. I had already made a commitment to the new one and paid an agency fee. Besides, I would never have been able to trust that she would not leave again for a higher rate.

Anonymous wrote:I have the great luxury of staying home with DD for her first year but will return to work in April. All this past year I would see a wonderful nanny with a baby a bit older than mine. She was always smiling, always engaging him and always talking to him. She has things scheduled for him every morning (the same things that I do for my baby) and always seems so happy. I have never seen her on her phone and she never takes her eyes off her charge. Basically, she is everything I would ever hope to have in a nanny.

I mentioned approaching her with a job offer and my SIL and other mother friends acted like I asked to sleep with their husbands! I was told that we NEVER try to poach someone's nanny.

I do not understand this. Shouldn't it be up to the nanny to decide on her best job options and know about other opportunities?

You're lazy and want to take a shortcut by hiring someone else's nanny. Be prepared to be treated as a pariah by your SIL and other mom friends.