Anonymous wrote:Thank you to everyone for the responses... I really don't even know what to say to the nasty comments. I always know mothers were the most judgement but really. As women and as working mothers we should have each other's back and lend support and kind words... Not judgement.

Again, I am only 21 weeks and still weighing out all my options... Staying home, nannies, daycare. So thank you again.

Happiness and love. B.

OP, you and your partner need to sit down and have a VERY realistic talk about what the cost of childcare will be if you two continue to work the hours you are now. You will likely find that you are paying a good portion of your income to have someone else take care of your child, and unless your career in retail (or his in food service) is really that important to you, it might be a more viable option to stay home. Otherwise, look into home daycare, if you find a decent one there is more one-on-one care than a center and it is much cheaper than private nanny care. Be realistic, above all, which it sadly doesn't sound like you are being at the moment.

Thank you to everyone for the responses... I really don't even know what to say to the nasty comments. I always know mothers were the most judgement but really. As women and as working mothers we should have each other's back and lend support and kind words... Not judgement.

Again, I am only 21 weeks and still weighing out all my options... Staying home, nannies, daycare. So thank you again.

Happiness and love. B.

Don't assume the nasty comments are from mothers, OP.

Anonymous wrote:Thank you to everyone for the responses... I really don't even know what to say to the nasty comments. I always know mothers were the most judgement but really. As women and as working mothers we should have each other's back and lend support and kind words... Not judgement.

Again, I am only 21 weeks and still weighing out all my options... Staying home, nannies, daycare. So thank you again.

Happiness and love. B.

You're only going to be around 2 waking days a week. Mother isn't a term I'd use for you.

Thank you to everyone for the responses... I really don't even know what to say to the nasty comments. I always know mothers were the most judgement but really. As women and as working mothers we should have each other's back and lend support and kind words... Not judgement.

Again, I am only 21 weeks and still weighing out all my options... Staying home, nannies, daycare. So thank you again.

Happiness and love. B.

If this is a real person (and that's a big if -- I smell troll, too), perhaps the issue is that they both have to be available for potentially overlapping shifts anytime from 8am to 11pm, not that they will always both be gone for all that time.

If so, I agree that a nanny would be the best choice for the kid, who could maintain a routine with whichever adult is around, but even with two full time nannies, this sounds impossibly expensive!

I am dying to know which bitchy response here was made by the op of this thread http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/440590.page

Ugh these are real (albeit horrible) people. Please consider adoption or changing your hours. What kind of life do you think You can give a child who will only see her parents during her awake time 2 days a week. Horrible, horrible.

This has to be a troll. Are people like this really such assholes? Their baby is going to have no idea who their parents are. Just sad. Please consider adoption and give your baby a chance to have parents who love her. Parents who don't see their child 5 daYs a week don't love their child.

Not to mention how awful the nights will be when someone is trying to comfort her and she has no idea who the hell they are.
Disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourselves.

The two PP's have the perfect solution. Great daycare for the morning through afternoon, and a nanny to do pick up from day care and night time.

Unless you and your DH own the retail store(s) and restaurant(s), I think a single nanny is likely financially way out of reach for you. And if you do own the businesses and can afford 75 hours/week of nanny care, you still need 2 nannies to avoid complete nanny burnout and insanely high OT pay.

What do you each make? Unless you both make over $150k each, I think one of you needs to consider staying home or switching to more of a 9-5 job. The cost of this child care is going to be astronomical, and your quality of life is going to be horrid. You'll never see your baby, you won't get to know their routines so the weekends where you are with the baby will be very challenging, you'll never have time for your marriage, and your health will take a nose dive as you don't get enough sleep and try to work those kinds of hours.

I have no issue with nannies, but if you are both only home from 11 pm to 8 am 5 days a week, you might as well put the kid up for adoption - that's how much you'd be outsourcing the raising of your child.

Op how much can you afford to pay each week ?

Will you need a nanny 15 hours a day or just a nanny that is available to work between the hours of 8am-11pm?

Why the hell are you having a baby? Selfish idiots. I feel horrible for your child