Anonymous wrote:Both parties nanny and family are to blame.

Poor communication all around.

Nanny can be the professional that she wants to be seen as and give notice now.

Oh, the parents have no obligation to treat OP propeu? They dropped the ball by not doing what they were supposed to do so, obviously, they do not deserve the courtesy of anything.

It's their own fault for being so flakey.

I mean, I get that they have careers and young children, but still....Their word should hold some weight.

I would just let them know that you feel at this time that you are not a good match, wish them luck in their search and make sure you let them know ASAP since the position was to start soon.

Both parties nanny and family are to blame.

Poor communication all around.

Nanny can be the professional that she wants to be seen as and give notice now.

Why should she tell the right away? Its not like she needs a reference from them, and they haven't been in any rush to communicate or worry about OPs needs. All of this is their fault, so any rushing to find childcare is their consequence to bear.

She should tell them right away because it is OP who is at fault. The family hired her and she accepted months ago. She is still a month from starting and just waiting on a final work agreement, which means all the negotiations are done. Why does she need this a month before a start date to have the final document? Also, why is it unusual for a family to not be in frequent contact with a nanny who isn't starting for months? The family isn't being flaky. OP is. The family hired *early* to take care of their child care needs. If OP needed to have the final document a month before starting, she should have warned them that if they didn't meet her date, she would need to find other work. She didn't do that. So, she is already screwing them over by changing her mind late (for them). So she owes it to them to let them know now.

Besides, OP isn't leaving because the family is flaky. She is leaving because she needs a job that pays better because her financial situation changed. She is just trying to make it their fault by saying they aren't communicating with her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never gotten as far as you in the process when needing to turn a family down, but my go-to excuse for turning down an offer is usually to claim that the commute is unsustainable.

How personal are your own family circumstances? If its something simple, like say childcare for your own child changing and now you'll be looking for different hours, then I think it's fine to just tell them that. If its something more personal/difficult then I understand not wanting to disclose that to them.

If neither of those works for you, then I do think its ok to cite their lack of communication. I would just be very delicate in how you phrase it, because while I don't blame you for needing to back out, it's still not exactly great on your part. What you wrote sounds ok, I would maybe just remove the "as I was in no position to wait around" as that sounds more accusatory than you probably want to be in a professional context.

My situation is financial in nature. This position comes with shorter hours in the summer and therefore less pay. Our financial situation has changed recently due to several unforeseen circumstances and this position no longer meets my financial needs

You must tell them this immediately, before the holidays.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why should she tell the right away? Its not like she needs a reference from them, and they haven't been in any rush to communicate or worry about OPs needs. All of this is their fault, so any rushing to find childcare is their consequence to bear.

Because its called being a nice human being. It's called treating people the way you want to be treated. It's called two wrongs don't make a right. Basically it's called not being bitter old you.

Call me whatever you want, but if you treat me like crap, I'm not going out of my way to help you. They'll find out they lost their nanny when they care enough to communicate. Maybe next time they won't do the same crap.

I would never hire someone like you. I bet you have a real hard time hiding your negative, hateful, unprofessional attitude from parents and children.

Yes tell them ASAP. It's the right thing to do