I decided to go with the flow and use it for one of DD's Hanukkah gifts. Both the nanny and DD were delighted!

Anonymous wrote:My rule:

Gift DOWN, not UP.

~Signed: A Nanny

Hmmm.... well I've never worked for the incredibly wealthy so that's not a rule this nanny lives by.

I'm a nanny and I'd be pretty offended if my employers told me not to buy gifts for their child's birthday/Christmas. Unless, of course, they were minimalist or had certain criteria in which case I'd find a special activity in celebration.

I can understand how a parent would feel uncomfortable if their nanny was spending big bucks on their child. I think there needs to be a $20-40 limit. We live in a gift giving culture, and I love giving gifts.

I also get my employers a present for Christmas, always something that pertains to the children. Usually pictures or an art project.

Anonymous wrote:My feelings were totally hurt today. Our lovely nanny brings her two year old to our house with her, where she watches my two girls. In addition to giving our nanny a half weeks pay (she's been with us 5 months), each child picked out a gift for her daughter.
I was hurt that my girls received nothing - I'm not asking for much - crayons and a coloring book would have been perfect. Ugh, you hope your children are special to the person watching them - I didn't feel that way today
Anyone make me feel better?

My feelings were totally hurt today. Our lovely nanny brings her two year old to our house with her, where she watches my two girls. In addition to giving our nanny a half weeks pay (she's been with us 5 months), each child picked out a gift for her daughter.
I was hurt that my girls received nothing - I'm not asking for much - crayons and a coloring book would have been perfect. Ugh, you hope your children are special to the person watching them - I didn't feel that way today
Anyone make me feel better?

Our nanny, her husband, and her mom, all give DC gifts. Her mom lives abroad and have never met DC, but sends gifts nevertheless. These are not big gifts, just tokens of (very appreciated) attention.

I don't consider children to be "up" from me, regardless of the net worth of their parents.

Signed,
A Different Nanny

My rule:

Gift DOWN, not UP.

~Signed: A Nanny

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...Also gifts are supposed to flow down, not up.

Wow. How incredibly superior do you feel to those who work hard to provide loving care for your children? That is the most pompous thing I've ever seen on here, and that's saying a lot.

I had a family I was close to, so I got the children little things they would enjoy. I thought I was being thoughtful and caring. Apparently I was forgetting my place and inconveniencing my employers.

Simmer down. It's not at all about being superior or pompous. I assume it comes from the idea that people who are in a worse-off financial position should not feel obligated to spend their money on gifts for the people who ... pay them money. It IS thoughtful and caring to want to give a gift to someone you're close to.

Anonymous wrote:...Also gifts are supposed to flow down, not up.

Wow. How incredibly superior do you feel to those who work hard to provide loving care for your children? That is the most pompous thing I've ever seen on here, and that's saying a lot.

I had a family I was close to, so I got the children little things they would enjoy. I thought I was being thoughtful and caring. Apparently I was forgetting my place and inconveniencing my employers.