Anonymous
12/12/2014 07:09
Subject: Re:MB looking to find fault with me?
I've had a similar experiences with my current MB - she is afraid of dirt and germs but not afraid of the toddler falling off the balcony or sticking her finger in an electrical outlet. Nothing in their house is child-proofed either but she wants me to wash a pacifier that falls on the floor of their apartment! I don't know if she is trying to find fault with me but she does have some very incongruent beliefs about keeping her child healthy and safe.
Anonymous
12/11/2014 15:43
Subject: MB looking to find fault with me?
Anonymous wrote:My MB actually said "Can you squeeze out the sponges in the sink more? They feel too wet."
ROFL. I've had a similar experience. They never were dry enough.
I had one accuse me of letting her kid watch Elmo because she was happy to see him . I didn't but she let her watch every morning and on the weekend.
I have a chill mb now. The good ones who can handle their mom guilt, stress, need for control whatever without taking it out on the nanny make up for the others.
Anonymous
12/11/2014 14:53
Subject: MB looking to find fault with me?
My MB actually said "Can you squeeze out the sponges in the sink more? They feel too wet."
Anonymous
12/09/2014 16:39
Subject: MB looking to find fault with me?
Anonymous wrote:These insecure mommies need to stay home then instead of making someone else's life hell.
Calm down drama queen. OP was hardly suggesting that her MB was making her life hell.
Anonymous
12/09/2014 16:19
Subject: Re:MB looking to find fault with me?
Anonymous wrote:
Example: MB said she wanted the youngest to start pureed broccoli. I went out and bought fresh broccoli, steamed and blanched it, pureed it and put it into containers in the fridge. When MB saw it she told me that the youngest was too young to have broccoli.
Clearly she meant at some point in the near future SHE would do it.
Anonymous
12/09/2014 15:25
Subject: MB looking to find fault with me?
These insecure mommies need to stay home then instead of making someone else's life hell.
Anonymous
12/09/2014 02:18
Subject: MB looking to find fault with me?
Could be....or not.
As a nanny, I sometimes see myself in situations like this.
Where a parent will seem to be super-careful in one area, yet seem so lax in another. I will be like super-confused about their parenting perspectives, but then just keep my opinions to myself.
For example, a parent who is very strict about keeping the house/child's bedroom very clean at all times, yet is very lax when it comes to bathing the child.
Things like this.
As a nanny, I sometimes see myself in situations like this.
Where a parent will seem to be super-careful in one area, yet seem so lax in another. I will be like super-confused about their parenting perspectives, but then just keep my opinions to myself.
For example, a parent who is very strict about keeping the house/child's bedroom very clean at all times, yet is very lax when it comes to bathing the child.
Things like this.
Anonymous
12/08/2014 10:07
Subject: MB looking to find fault with me?
Anonymous wrote:MB here. OP, try not to take it personally. If these are fairly minor, occasional, incidences in an otherwise strong and positive nanny position then just shrug it off.
I'm a working mom. I'm riddled with guilt and anxiety all the time - job, wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, decent citizen, etc... - there is some aspect of every single role I play (or want to play) in life where I fall short in my own estimation on a fairly regular basis. It's the price I pay for the "trying to have it all" game. So be it. But there are times when I'm not the best version of myself and maybe that's some of what you're seeing in your employer.
She probably does the exact same kind of thing to her husband, and probably even to herself on some level. Just let it go.
Wow- I wish more MB's had the emotional clarity and honesty that you do, PP. Your nanny is very fortunate to have you as her boss.
BTW - it is this kind of dialogue that I wish nannies and mothers could have more of on this forum.
Thank you, PP.
Anonymous
12/08/2014 09:12
Subject: MB looking to find fault with me?
MB here. OP, try not to take it personally. If these are fairly minor, occasional, incidences in an otherwise strong and positive nanny position then just shrug it off.
I'm a working mom. I'm riddled with guilt and anxiety all the time - job, wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, decent citizen, etc... - there is some aspect of every single role I play (or want to play) in life where I fall short in my own estimation on a fairly regular basis. It's the price I pay for the "trying to have it all" game. So be it. But there are times when I'm not the best version of myself and maybe that's some of what you're seeing in your employer.
She probably does the exact same kind of thing to her husband, and probably even to herself on some level. Just let it go.
I'm a working mom. I'm riddled with guilt and anxiety all the time - job, wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, decent citizen, etc... - there is some aspect of every single role I play (or want to play) in life where I fall short in my own estimation on a fairly regular basis. It's the price I pay for the "trying to have it all" game. So be it. But there are times when I'm not the best version of myself and maybe that's some of what you're seeing in your employer.
She probably does the exact same kind of thing to her husband, and probably even to herself on some level. Just let it go.
Anonymous
12/08/2014 06:57
Subject: Re:MB looking to find fault with me?
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but I'm not buying your assumption that she is purposefully finding fault with you. You googling her behavior means nothing and any blog posts you found by similar bitter nannies does not indicate a phenomenon.
Let's just be honest. You got all hurt because your MB dared to tell you you were wrong in something you did. So you bring your broken heart here and start yet another MB hating thread to encourage other disgruntled nannies to bitch about their petty issues and indulge in yet another circle jerk about how superior we nannies are and how stupid MBs are and how dare they give us rules for their children! Clearly they do it because they are so guilt ridden and jealous!
Get over yourself. Her house. Her rules. Do your job or get a new one.
But stop your whining over having a boss.
Calm down, Bitter Mommy. Stop taking things so personally and perhaps you can learn from a thread like this. OP clearly stated that it was "her home, her child, her rules" and said that she respected her employer. You should google the Forbes article which was NOT written by a nanny nor was the New York Times article.
Not a Bitter Mommy. Just a nanny tired of all the threads bashing mothers from whining nanny trolls. I know I'm not alone.
Yes, you are alone. And please don't bother to defend yourself by postings where you pretend to be other people. The nannies are sharing their experiences and we are all tired of trolls like you on this site. Please get a life for yourself.
Anonymous
12/08/2014 00:04
Subject: Re:MB looking to find fault with me?
Sorry, OP, but I'm not buying your assumption that she is purposefully finding fault with you. You googling her behavior means nothing and any blog posts you found by similar bitter nannies does not indicate a phenomenon.
Let's just be honest. You got all hurt because your MB dared to tell you you were wrong in something you did. So you bring your broken heart here and start yet another MB hating thread to encourage other disgruntled nannies to bitch about their petty issues and indulge in yet another circle jerk about how superior we nannies are and how stupid MBs are and how dare they give us rules for their children! Clearly they do it because they are so guilt ridden and jealous!
Get over yourself. Her house. Her rules. Do your job or get a new one.
But stop your whining over having a boss.
Calm down, Bitter Mommy. Stop taking things so personally and perhaps you can learn from a thread like this. OP clearly stated that it was "her home, her child, her rules" and said that she respected her employer. You should google the Forbes article which was NOT written by a nanny nor was the New York Times article.
Not a Bitter Mommy. Just a nanny tired of all the threads bashing mothers from whining nanny trolls. I know I'm not alone.
Anonymous
12/07/2014 23:39
Subject: MB looking to find fault with me?
OP, your experience is the opposite of mine, I don't think I could handle that at all. My MB basically handed me the reigns when I started and said do as you wish. They have a certain set of house rules they follow and would like the kids to grow up around but as far as who, what, where etc it is all our choice. Playdates, new activities, new foods, anything I want to expose them to and engage them with is fair game. I'm really not sure what you can do in your situation.
Anonymous
12/07/2014 19:42
Subject: MB looking to find fault with me?
PP here it's completely understandable why an MB might do it.
But it is very draining.
With my previous MB no matter how much I tried to reassure her crafts, getting the littles excited for her arrival etc her behavior didn't change.I followed every rule.
It escalated from nitpicking to accusations
Still I got accused of letting the babies watch TV, having a guest over because a brought an extra pair of shoes with me for the weather etc none of the accusations were true and they all came about because the kiddos always were very excited to see me.
After a while I couldn't take it so I found another gig , put in my notice and moved on.
Like I said before it's not something you can fix for MB it's something only she can fix and some never do.
In my opinion this is probably one of the top reason families lose good nannies.
But it is very draining.
With my previous MB no matter how much I tried to reassure her crafts, getting the littles excited for her arrival etc her behavior didn't change.I followed every rule.
It escalated from nitpicking to accusations
Still I got accused of letting the babies watch TV, having a guest over because a brought an extra pair of shoes with me for the weather etc none of the accusations were true and they all came about because the kiddos always were very excited to see me.
After a while I couldn't take it so I found another gig , put in my notice and moved on.
Like I said before it's not something you can fix for MB it's something only she can fix and some never do.
In my opinion this is probably one of the top reason families lose good nannies.
Anonymous
12/07/2014 19:16
Subject: Re:MB looking to find fault with me?
MBs have an opportunity to read this thread and reflect on what the nannies are saying. Instead, one MB comes here and starts the "nanny wars" again and makes us all look like bitches.
I wonder if I may do the same, subconsciously, when I worry about my DD preferring her nanny to me which she does sometimes. I don't mean to.
I wonder if I may do the same, subconsciously, when I worry about my DD preferring her nanny to me which she does sometimes. I don't mean to.
Anonymous
12/07/2014 17:04
Subject: MB looking to find fault with me?
Anonymous wrote:It's her way of showing dominance. She feels that her role as mother is being threatened by you. She comes up with uber-strange/strict rules as a way of "marking her territory."
It has nothing to do with you. Adhere to her rules.
In the meantime, I would do lots of "Larla loves Mommy" crafts. You could also take pictures of your charge and include things like "I miss you Mom."
Anything you can do to show your MB that you have no interest in taking over her role will put her at ease.
This is the best way to handle the situation. Try to build up your MB's self-esteem in relation to being a mother. I tell my MB all the time how much the kids miss her during the day (not completely true) and always relay any mention of her that they make. We do crafts that focus on Mommy as well.
Just read 17:00 to see how defensive and angry MB's get when confronted with their behavior - there is absolutely no point in bringing it up to your MB.