I would take the nanny if you need her for the wedding. I don't trust anyone to watch our kids other than our nanny (e.g., no hotel sitter for us), and if that means that I would bring her out for 5 days, then so be it.

But, our nanny likes to travel with us, b/c it is an opportunity for her to make extra money. (e.g., we pay her for overtime (if applicable) and any time worked on weekends)

We also offer our nanny in the travel planning and offer her a day on either end of the trip if she wants time to explore.

It is just nice to have her with us so that we can go out to dinner, go for a run, and simply get some rare time with my husband.

OP, have you considered changing up the schedule so that you spend can both spend time with the kids and have down time? If my employer asked me to work a couple evenings but also gave me a couple half days then it would be fine. I would not be open to doing it at home because I have other obligations. But in a place where I have nothing else to do it would be fine.

IF you will have the nanny work any overnights then I love the idea of offering the pay for her companions flight instead. If the cost is similar then she might enjoy the company. Of course it has to be someone you are comfortable with.

We do it all the time as do most of our friends. Our children are v young and not reliably talking so I wouldn't feel
Comfortable with a random
Unknown babysitter at a resort - we give her a few hours off every afternoon and she watches the monitor while we go out to
Dinner after kids go
To sleep. She joins us for lots of family activities like beach and pool and it's v helpful
To have that extra adult w us.

OMG please don't listen to 17:32. Wanting some help is not pathetic and it doesn't mean you can't handle your kids or you don't love them. It simply means you see where you're lacking and you're willing to fix the problem, which is the most important thing in parenting.

Anyone who's travelled with kids knows how challenging it is.

And I've actually got fantastic memories of travelling with my charges. With my last 6yo we made a scrapbook of the trip and it was great fun. Your 5yo will probably enjoy it as well.

I am a nanny and I travelled on vacation with my families several times. I had one bad experience and the rest were very positive. The bad experience was largely due to the fact that we did not think to establish clear expectations with regards to when I will be on and off and how much they expected of me. But with that lesson learned, all the following trips were a success.

I think if you can afford it, you should take your nanny. It is easier for the kids, it is easier for you (you trust her already and they're used to her so you won't get called to the room because they won't stop crying in the middle of vows), you can spend time with your husband alone in a new location, you can spend time with each of your children one-on-one, flights and airports are easier to handle. You will probably get to know your nanny a little bit better and allow her to see a place she would not necessarily have the ability to see herself.

The key to it working out is clear expectations, so have an open chat with her.

Good luck!

What lovely memories your children will have of vacationing with Nanny. Too bad mommy and daddy weren't there. If you can't take care of your kids on vacation, you are beyond pathetic.

Our nanny has travelled with us many times. And you hit the nail on the head, the opportunity to actually RELAX is significantly diminished when child care options are limited. Just because the nanny is there, doesn't mean you don't spend time with your kids. I usually map out a general schedule for the week that identifies the blocks of time (or days) that the nanny has "off" to go and do her own thing. Also, depending on how much you think she will be working, it is better to work out compensation before you leave, as well as expectation about expenses.

Seperately -- you mentioned that you just came back from the Caribbean. There are resorts where you can reserve a nanny for your entire stay and who will come and work the hours that you want her to work. We have done this in Jamaica -- at Tryall and at Roundhill (and it is significantly less expensive than in the U.S.).


You are going to be paying quite a bit of money to haul your family of four to Hawaii for 10 days. I would rather pay a little bit more and know that I will be able to enjoy myself.

Take the nanny, you will thank yourself for it later.
Work out all the details upfront. Let her know she will still be working x number of hours, but they may be broken up a little.
The flight to Hawaii is long and having an extra pair of hands will be helpful.
The children's schedule will be messed up for the first few days and having a familiar face to watch them instead of a stranger will help.
As for hotel, you do not have to out her up in the same type of accommodations you have. Ask the hotel for a different room type for the nanny.
Also figure out if you are going to rent a car for nanny for when she is not working. Or will you be in a populated enough area thar she won't need one?
Think all these things through.

If you can swing it financially, then I say go for it! And do not feel any ounce of guilt for it either. You are not a bad mother OP!

I totally get how a vacation can be overwhelming for all the reasons you stated.

Sure, you want to spend time w/the children and that is all well and good. But as any parent with young children knows, every parent also needs some "me" time in order to sustain being an excellent parent and no one should have to feel guilty for needing that.

So again, if you can afford to do so, I say it will be worth its weight in gold to bring along your nanny. This will allow you to enjoy your vacation as it was meant to be enjoyed plus no worries...You will still have plenty of time to spend with your children. And the time you do spend with them, you will be in much better spirits than you would have if you didn't bring your nanny along!

Hope you all have a blast.