Anonymous wrote:I got a lot of strange looks and one critical comment at the park this week when I told my charge 'I love you.' I don't usually let it slip out in front of other people, particularly mom or dad. Those three words are often the sum I what I feel though. She spends most of her waking life with me. I want to do more then just keep her in one piece. I want to make her feel...loved. Do other nannies say I love you? Only in private or in front of other people?

I think it is great that you say you lover her and it sounds like you do. I feel sorry for her that her mother/father are not with her ever. Sad or selfish. If they are giving up that role as primary caretaker than you should be able to say you lover her, as I would want my child to know the person they are bonding with loves them.

I call my charge "my love" all the time in front of the parents and they don't care. I've been with the family for many years and couldn't dream of not telling the boys I love them every day!

Anonymous wrote:I think I may be the minority but I don't tell my charges " I love you". I work with young infant and toddler children. I was leaving one night after work and the mom tells her son ( speaking for him, he's 9 months) " I love you". I felt very awkward and didnt say it back. It was like an awkward moment when the guy you are dating says he loves you but you don't feel the same.

I would be weirded out in your situation too. I've never said, "I love you," to any of my charges first and definitely wouldn't say it if the mom said it pretending to be the baby. But what will you do when the kids get old enough to say it themselves? It's funny you brought up the part about it being like a guy your dating says it when you don't feel the same. I've had that happen before and it was so awkward. I've had kids who I randomly babysit for tell me they love me and I didn't feel the same way. I said it back to them because I couldn't bear to hurt them and of course I care about them.

I think I may be the minority but I don't tell my charges " I love you". I work with young infant and toddler children. I was leaving one night after work and the mom tells her son ( speaking for him, he's 9 months) " I love you". I felt very awkward and didnt say it back. It was like an awkward moment when the guy you are dating says he loves you but you don't feel the same.

Anonymous wrote:Another MB here and I love that our nanny tells the kids she loves them. There's no such thing as too much love for a child. I figure, the more people who love them the better.

+1

I agree with the MB that if the nanny said it on the first day or so, that would come across as creepy, but children do not see their nannies as hired help at all. They do not see them as people who are being paid by Mommy and Daddy to watch and care for them while Mommy and Daddy are working.

They see their nannies as an extension of their loving families and genuinely (and rightfully so!) believe that their nannies love them just as much as their families do. So when they tell them they love them, they really mean it and it would be so cruel to do to a child to not respond with an "I love you too" if a child were to profess his or her love.

I seriously doubt any loving parent would have any issue with their nanny and child verbally expressing their love towards each other. If so, then that parent needs to work on their insecurities.

I think it would be strange for a nanny not to express that she loves her child?

How sad is it that love should be hidden?

I tell my charges I love them often!

Another MB here and I love that our nanny tells the kids she loves them. There's no such thing as too much love for a child. I figure, the more people who love them the better.

I wait for my charges to say it first. I would not hide it from the parents though, that is somewhat creepy.

I also wait to say "I love you" until my charge says it first. I don't see it as a big deal either way. Actions speak louder than words.

I was touched when my last boss would cue her 18m.o. son to say "I love you" when we were hugging good-bye.

To the posters that don't tell their charges they love them, what do you do when the child tells you they love you? I can't imagine how hurt a child would be to know their love wasn't reciprocated.

Our nanny and DD say I love you every night when I get home and nanny leaves. They also hug and snuggle. I think it is the sweetest thing ever and I hope they say I love you many more times during their day.

Anonymous wrote:I do not say that, EVER. Crosses a boundary.

P.S. If you need to do something in secret with your charge, you probably shouldn't be doing it.

What boundary is being crossed exactly? How do words of affection pose a boundary issue?

Anonymous wrote:I only say it when a child says it to me first.

Nanny I love you. Larla I love you too

Saying it teaches them how to express love in return. Are all of your charges verbal?! Isn't it possible a non verbal child has feelings of love but can't yet tell you?!

Another nanny here.
I love my charges and I tell them that all the time!!